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Original poster

I’m going to look horrible on my own wedding day

271 replies

Caramelvanillafudge · 28/01/2022 07:24

Arghhh, I’m an idiot.

I am getting married next month. I’ve put on a bit of weight and thought I could lose it in time but it hasn’t happened. I do look fat: there’s no way I can avoid that.

I’ve never been brilliant at putting on makeup and I only wear foundation and mascara. I just don’t suit lipstick or eye shadow or blusher. Stupidly, I thought I’d get someone to do my hair and makeup. And I had a trial run yesterday and it looked RIDICULOUS! The hair style made me look even fatter and I looked like JK Rowling’s description of Dolores Umbridge. The makeup just made me look stupid. There was nothing wrong with how she did it, it just looked silly on me.

I know I could just do my own hair and makeup but then I’ve messed everyone around and spent money I don’t have.

I just want to get married in jeans and a cardigan in a registry office Sad

OP posts:
hopeishere · 28/01/2022 08:12

If you don't usually have done hair and makeup then anything is going to look very odd the first time you see it. Ditto with a big dress if you're normally casual.

Could you get a friends opinion?

Alternatively just get married in jeans and a cardigan.

Original poster
Caramelvanillafudge · 28/01/2022 08:13

Yeah DH-to-be is the one who wants the wedding for his mum and dad and it’s all booked and paid for now.

I’ll just have to hide the wedding album Blush

OP posts:
Beefcurtains79 · 28/01/2022 08:13

Cut out carbs and booze today, you’ll lose a fair bit in a month- it comes off quick at first.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Clothing General style & beauty
Original poster
Caramelvanillafudge · 28/01/2022 08:13

Yeah but friends just say how nice it looks, and it probably looks as nice as it can.

OP posts:
Original poster
Caramelvanillafudge · 28/01/2022 08:13

I never drink.

OP posts:
Beefcurtains79 · 28/01/2022 08:15

You do eat carbs tho? Get rid of those and maybe a Joe wicks each morning? It will help and make you feel better I promise

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 28/01/2022 08:16

You are still you OP and everyone else loves that so why don't you?
You can get married in jeans & a cardigan, it's your day, there's no law against it.
But perhaps splurge out on some nice make up & try different looks each day so you get used to it - do you have any friends who will help? I couldn't afford to get it done for my wedding so my DH's cousin did it for me and I loved it.
Have a wonderful day x

stayathomegardener · 28/01/2022 08:16

There's a fab low carb boot camp on here, many lose 6-7lb in the first week.

stuntbubbles · 28/01/2022 08:17

Ooh, how about this: wear the gorgeous dress but with your favourite cardigan on top. Or a new, special wedding cardigan. Make the dress work for you, rather than trying to do hair/makeup to turn yourself into the person for this dress.

Dress, favourite cardigan (maybe belted?) on top, favourite trainers, no makeup/usual makeup, gorgeous bouquet and, frankly, COMFORTABLE knickers instead of the slightly creepy wires and straps and floof bridal underwear that always looks a bit “trussed-up turkey”.

Sloughsabigplace · 28/01/2022 08:17

@Caramelvanillafudge

Yeah DH-to-be is the one who wants the wedding for his mum and dad and it’s all booked and paid for now.

I’ll just have to hide the wedding album Blush

Please find a way to make yourself happy.

I’ve never even looked at my wedding photos because I was so unhappy on the day. And even that wasn’t me. His parents wanted the whole posed photo while people wait around bored and hungry thing - I hated every second. But hey, they have their photo of them and dh for the hallway!

PinkButtercups · 28/01/2022 08:18

Do your make up how you feel comfortable with it.

My mum is the same. She had nee make up done once and said it felt too heavy and didn't look like her at all.

You should feel comfortable on your wedding day.

ReadySteadyTwins · 28/01/2022 08:19

OP.

You have an answer for everyone trying to help as to why that particular suggestion doesn't help you.

It would. Many great suggestions. You've just already decided your fate. Even the PP who says "cut the carbs and booze" you immediately poo poo with "I don't drink" and ignore the fact you can cut out carbs. If you're going to make an excuse as to why you can't do any of the very good ideas put forward, I'm unsure what you've started the thread for?

user1471554720 · 28/01/2022 08:20

Gradually start putting on mascara, then a few days later mascara and eyeliner. Then experiment with a nude eyeshadow. If you do make uo every day Mon to Fri you will get a look you like, which is polished but not overdone. You will get used to what you look like with some make up on.

This is what I do if I am a guest at a wedding. My normal make up is tintef moisturiser, a small bit of lipstick, no eye make up. A month before the occasion, I wear eyeliner each day and practise it. Then I add mascara and finally a nude eyeshadow. Then I look polished but as I am used to seeing myself with gradually more make up, I don't get a shock. If I wore all eye make uo on the one day starting off I would get a shock.

Ineedanightaway · 28/01/2022 08:20

Your future DH will love you however you choose to do your hair, make up or how you dress. I promise you

Original poster
Caramelvanillafudge · 28/01/2022 08:21

I do understand what peoples are trying to say (I don’t eat a lot of carbs, my downfall is sweet stuff, but anyway) but here is the thing.

She put makeup on and I thought (stupidly!) I’d look different. I didn’t! I still had the same great fat moon face on no-neck and small piggy eyes and non existent mouth.

It was as nice as it could be - same with the hair. My hair is actually lovely (get me!) but again it was stuck on top of this horribly ugly woman.

When I’m just in day to day clothes it doesn’t matter as I’m just a plain woman. Dressed up and made up, I looked fucking STUPID! And now I feel stupid Sad

OP posts:
user1471554720 · 28/01/2022 08:22

Re weight, don't eat for 14 hours overnight. It speeds metabolism, you won't have the trap of biscuits with tea in the evening. It should reduce weight by a few pounds to half a stone. Curtail alcohol, sugar, carbs. Your face will look more streamlined.

Aposterhasnoname · 28/01/2022 08:23

I’ll bet it doesn’t look ridiculous. It’s just that you’re not used to seeing yourself like that.

I got married abroad so had no chance tk s practice hair and makeup run. I hated what she did, thought I looked awful, nearly cried when I saw the photos, even though everyone else insisted they were gorgeous. Twenty years later I look at them and realise, actually everyone else was right, I did look lovely, it was just my insecurity that couldn’t see it.

MrsWooster · 28/01/2022 08:25

Who is your DP marrying- the BrideDoll or you? He sees the cardigan/jeans you everyday and loves you.
I wonder if there’s a way that you can learn to love that vision of you too and subordinate the frock to the real you so there’s you, coincidentally wearing a slightly-fancier-than-usual frock, rather than a perfect Frock walking down the aisle, inhibited by a toady imposter?

ReginaFilange001 · 28/01/2022 08:26

I don't think the losing weight is the main issue here.
The bridal industry seems to run off this perfect moment, brides being perfect, losing weight.
You have a gorgeous dress. You deserve to wear it and believe you are gorgeous in it. A good dressmaker can alter it to fit if it is tight.
You need to think how you can make it you. Wear it with flat shoes, trainers, Dr martens - whatever your style is. Wear minimal make up and simple hair. You will make it look gorgeous.
You've been given excellent advice about hair and make up - lots most likely from people who have felt the same way as you.
Please take it and please believe that whilst we don't know you personally or can see what you look like that we mean what we say when we say you will look stunning because of the love and happiness that will shine out of you. All the make up trials and hair and dress fitting don't give you an idea of it all together on the day with the radiance you will bring.

You have time to make changes - yes to diet but also to your dress/accessories/hair/make up but importantly to you mindset - to really care for yourself and make yourself feel better.

Dreamstate · 28/01/2022 08:27

Well with that attitude your going to ruin your wedding day. Honestly a month is a lot of time to even lose some weight even if it isn't all of it. And you'll feel better even seeing some of it come off.

Or you can use continue to be sad about it and probably eat more and put more on.

Just get yourself to the gym cut the sweet stuff out and start making progress

SleepingStandingUp · 28/01/2022 08:27

@Caramelvanillafudge

I know people are trying to help but I don’t think I’m being very clear - the dress is gorgeous. On someone else. Ditto the makeup and hair Grin

The problem is I thought getting my hair and makeup done would help but I’m still me. Obviously!

You are still you.

I tried on the most beautiful dress. I looked in the mirror and cried. Like bad tears. It just was like seeing someone else in the mirror, it was so disconcerting. She suggested it was a good sign. It wasn't. I took it off. My sister brought it 6 months later and it was "her". It's too late to change the dress but is there anything you could adjust or add to make it feel like you?

Make up wise I had the smallest amount on, you can't actually tell looking at my photos except that I look a a bit smoother 😂. It's OK to look like you.

SquirrelFan · 28/01/2022 08:28

Re: Eye makeup on a plumper face: careful not to "box in" your eyes. Just do a very thin line on top and lots of mascara and absolutely nothing underneath--it opens up your eyes and doesn't make them look like raisins in a pudding.
Light foundation-no blush.
You do want to wear a bit of makeup because otherwise the dress will look strange. But it doesn't have to be a lot.
I did my own hair and makeup because the trial makeup artist made me look horrific and not like myself at all--maybe to others it would've been better but in the end I felt like "me."

BeyondMyWits · 28/01/2022 08:29

I get where you are coming from... I am the spitting image of Professor Sprout rather than Umbridge... there's only such you can do... I did the best I could with what I had... still looked a bit "not traditionally pretty" as my older relatives tend to say.

But we had the day of our lives, using the best wedding day accessories by far - a happy heart and a smile.

Sloughsabigplace · 28/01/2022 08:29

OP - I get you entirely.

Don’t make yourself miserable for other people.

You will feel shit all day. You won’t have good memories.

So do what makes you happy. Why are you wearing makeup that you don’t think makes you look good, trying to have your hair in a way that you don’t like, or wearing clothes you hate?

This is supposed to be a good day for YOU (and your husband, but surely one partner can’t have a great wedding day if the other is miserable).

Change your plans.

Take advice upthread.

You know what I wished I had done? Bought a pair of really nice trainers, or a pair of DMs (I once knew someone who had a full on wedding dress but only ever wore DM boots, so she bought a sparkly blue pair to wear on the day).

Find a dress that is really paired down, wear a nice cardigan with it.

Wear your hair how you do everyday. The amount of wedding photos I’ve seen where the bride looks like a totally different person is unreal - fine if you want to look different for a day, but awful if you don’t and you are just doing it because society and other people tell you that you should.

Life is short. Hopefully this will be your only wedding.

Don’t make it something you look back on and only remember with sadness - believe me, going into a marriage like that, like i did with resentment isn’t a great start.

Just10moreminutesplease · 28/01/2022 08:30

You will look absolutely beautiful on your wedding day because you will be filled with love. I have never seen a bride look anything other than lovely (or a groom for that matter!) Flowers.

If you’re not happy with your makeup ask her to tone it down a little. But I can pretty much guarantee that the issue is with your confidence rather than your looks.

You’re going to marry the person you love surrounded by people who love you. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself.

Oh and congratulations! 🥂