To think 'keeping a house' is a sodding full time job?

[2022herewego]

I work part time and have two DC under three, a dog and a cat.

I find looking after the house so difficult - the cooking (I try to cook from scratch 95% of the time as don't really like the taste of oven meals), cleaning, meal planning, shopping, laundry, general DIY, decluttering (have to do this regularly or we just have no space) keeping the garden looking just about okay and life admin all really gets on top of me and I feel like I'm totally drowning in it sometimes.

I know most of us have to work, sort childcare and run a house - so does everyone else find it 'all consuming' and never-ending or am I doing something wrong? I do try some hacks like batch cooking and the TOMM method but even so, I really struggle to keep on top of it all.

How does everyone else manage?

What's wrong with the basics?

Put the dishwasher on, a quick wipe of the kitchen surfaces. put a load of washing on and a quick five minute Hoover. How long does this take? 15 minutes. Maximum.

and now your house is relatively tidy. Or not a tip, You are on top of things, ie clothes washing. Your house is tidy enough so that if one of your friends popped round you wouldn't die with embarrassment.

surely that's enough?

@Chestnutshell I didn't know you could get someone in just to clean your oven!

About how much is it? I googled but they all seem to want my details to give me a quote so just an idea of cost would help in case it's way more than I can afford.

No that would take me more than 15 mins!

Dishwasher - take everything out, put away, fill dishwasher, wash things that have to be washed by hand (because they won't fit, eg oven tray, or because not dishwashable, eg water bottles), clean up the sink and worktops - at least 25 mins

Laundry - sort, put in, take out, hang up, take down when dry, fold up, put away - at least 20 minutes per load, and I will do more than one load a day if I've changed the beds etc

Cooking - half an hour on average

Plus everything else that needs keeping up with - bins, hoover, bathroom, general tidying, cleaning kitchen floor, cat litters (obviously my choice) - not doing all these every day of course but there's usually something

Plus admin - stuff from school, banking, booking appointments, being on hold to utility companies or GP, arranging for someone to come and fix something, all the family stuff.

Of course lots of jobs take 5 mins but they all add up!

I'm a bit baffled tbh - I consider myself seriously NOT houseproud and only doing the basics and essentials, but they do take this long. Maybe I'm just unbelievably slow and crap at them? But no, I cannot do what needs doing in a day, in 15 mins.

"Hoovering and dusting takes half an hour".... I wish that were true. I don't live in a big house and I'm pretty quick, but no, hoovering and dusting alone would be take at least an hour.

Hmm the basics to me are clearing up after dinner, wiping the kitchen surfaces, both daily-quick clean of the bathroom once a week or so and a quick hoover around once a week. And not even doing that at the minute becs it Devi e got a broken arm and I can't easily get the bloody Henry out if his cupboard.
Abs laundry-at least one load a day in our house, putting in, hanging out, putting away. Again an added pain with one arm so at the minute the clean laundry pile to go away is becoming huge. But even when I'm fully functioning this the biggest bug bear

@CornedBeef451 £60 - I’m NW. Worth it though - she does a much better job than I can do at home. Have a look at your local fb group.

@Chestnutshell thanks, it might be worth it. Mine is disgusting.

I bought some Pink stuff to clean it but that was weeks ago and it hadn't magically been cleaned by osmosis.

[quote CornedBeef451]@Chestnutshell thanks, it might be worth it. Mine is disgusting.

I bought some Pink stuff to clean it but that was weeks ago and it hadn't magically been cleaned by osmosis. [/quote]
The OvenMate stuff from Lakeland is a game changer. But a bit of a faff because you need to leave it for hours. So when I do it I have to remember to stick it on first thing in the morning then come back 6 house later and take it off.

One of my favourite gadgets (and I hate most gadgets) is an old fashioned Ewbank carpet sweeper, that a friend was going to chuck.

In between my (not very frequent) major cleaning sessions, it’s brilliant for quickly getting those bits up off the carpet, without all the faff of getting the heavy hoover out and plugging it in. It’s surprisingly efficient.

Plus of course very eco - uses no electricity!

I also love my Ewbank.

Embrace the chaos. Get a cleaner. Sod the garden. Get a take way once a week. Just do what absolutely has to. It won’t be forever, but whilst the kids are young it can’t be helped. There are only so many hours in the day and you can’t do it all. Well I certainly can’t.

I’m a full time working mum , I spend about 30 mins a day tidying apart wed + thur . I clean all upstairs on a wed and all downstairs on a Thursday . I do this so I can keep my 2 days off doing bugger all except eat and slouch with the odd glass of wine

I think it is (in part) a case of effort optimisation. Me and my wife both work full time, both from home at the moment. She's messy, I'm not.

No kids, but a dog.

I manage to keep the house fairly tidy- I do 100% of the DIY, shopping, cleaning and we split the cooking. I think the key is every single time, without fail, you walk past something that needs tidying/moving/wiping/bringing to the room you're going to, you do it. Little by little you'd be surprised how quickly it sorts things out.

Doesn't change get much when kids are older either. Teens have chores but spend half their lives being told to do them and then taking 85 years to complete them by signing. DD13 leaves items of clothing EVERYWHERE. As I sit here on the couch there is a bra on the arm of the chair. Why? Why? Was so behind on washing last week everyone was in emergency underwear. You're not alone!

Imo it's impossible when the kids are young. And either something has to give or you need to enlist additional help. I almost ended up going crazy in the beginning but then I moved my mum in with me and she is pretty much a full-time nanny for DS and helps with house work. And on weekends DS is with his Dad and 3x a week he's in nursery. Since doing this it's been alot easier, still hard but nowhere as much as before. Get help and comprise on what isn't essential.

Top tip - lower your standards

No, not at all.
I do it all, my partner sometimes helps, but not often enough to be much good.
I asked him once why he doesn't help more, he said, you only work part time, he works full time.
Yes I only work part-time, but I still have to cook, clean, make sure our son, is sorted for school and done his homework and lots of other stuff. He doesn't get this bit.
It was funny on Christmas day, as he helped his mum, by doing the turkey dinner, then washed up, he sat down in the lounge and said he was knackered. I wanted to say, this is how I feel every sodding day, as I have it all to do, he only did it one time. 🤣Luckily we only have one child.

Yep.this will all be over so so so soon. ..then onto the next stage..and suddenly you have an empty tidy nest

Yep. All consuming and never ending. Absolutely!

Yep this is me can’t cope lol and I am always moaning no one in my house cares they just carry on making mess

I've been a SAHM for 12 years. We also have a 7yr old and a 2yr old.
I feel like the general mess is never ending and don't get me started on the washing. I feel soo triumphant when I empty all the washing bins only to feel completely deflated when I go up after all the kids have had baths/showers and it's full again.
I go through phases of being totally OK with everything - it'll get done eventually, its not a big deal, just want to be with DH/kids. Then I completely flip and wonder around the house from job to job half doing everything and silently panicking.
Life is complicated and messy. Why would home be any different? I just try to enjoy as much time with family as possible.

Yes

I work full time. DH is retired and in ill health but does a fair bit and we have a cleaner. I do a fair bit at the weekends but house is not as I would like. I'll sort it out when I retire! Best to accept few people live in a picture perfect home!

I think the more you are all in the house the harder it is.

I think it's easier working full time, having full time childcare and outsourcing help.

Living in a flat is easier as no garden/ stairs.

Never iron.

Wash each person's clothes separately so no sorting. Have a different colour of socks for each person. Use a tumble dryer. Only buy/ wear easy care clothes.

Batch cook everything at the weekend and just reheat during the week. Dishwasher. School dinners rather than packed lunches.

No pets

Do life admin at lunchtime at work.

Buy kids clothes a season ahead in the sales. Same with birthday/ Christmas.

Beans on toast is a meal.

@2022herewego I've often felt like this. But it has got easier over the last few years, particularly as my baby has got older. Baby is now 19 and going to the pub later 🙄