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Original poster

Anonymous letter in the post today- thoughts?

207 replies

Janeandjohnny · 07/01/2022 23:02

So today I get a card envelope which had been opened by local mail handling/ in error/ damaged. It was then re packed in a post plastic bag with an apology for damage and I got it.

My address had a quirk on it which is local, (my business is at my home address and that has the 'proper' address that I mostly use) so this letter I think is from someone local due to use of road name.

Inside was a sheet of paper with

FAGGOTT - time to leave the (drawing of a closet).

Kind of disturbing, odd and out of the blue.
Im happily married for 21 years and aged 48 if this makes any difference?
Should I ignore, throw away, tell police etc etc. Any thoughts?

OP posts:

MrsGarethSouthgate · 07/01/2022 23:04

What does your spouse think about it? Perhaps it is targeted at them rather than you.

EmmaC78 · 07/01/2022 23:04

Was it your name on the envelope?

LubaLuca · 07/01/2022 23:05

Are you a woman, and was it addressed to you personally or just your house?

Didifuckitup · 07/01/2022 23:06

Assume meant for your husband??

Lipity · 07/01/2022 23:08

Faggot usually directed at men not women,

I’d chuck in the bin and forget

MaryAndHerNet · 07/01/2022 23:09

What business do you do?
Could you or another in your home be targeted by internet trolls for sharing opinions?

thingymaboob · 07/01/2022 23:09

Meant for your husband? Sounds like someone wants to tell you something or they're being particularly vindictive. Does your hubby have any enemies?

Ohbums · 07/01/2022 23:09

Who was it addressed to?

GettingItOutThere · 07/01/2022 23:10

@MrsGarethSouthgate

What does your spouse think about it? Perhaps it is targeted at them rather than you.

this ^

BleuJay · 07/01/2022 23:13

I would log it with the police in case you receive anything else.

Keep it in ziploc bag or similar.

It’s probably a competitor if your business trying to unsettle you by making you be worried about your husband or perhaps even argue with him.

Swirlywoo · 07/01/2022 23:13

That sounds horrible to receive but could it be local kids being 'hilarious'?

ofwarren · 07/01/2022 23:20

Who's name was on the envelope?

Bluebluemoon · 07/01/2022 23:26

Could it be a disgruntled (and obvs slightly bonkers) customer?

The fact it's been opened is weird - could Royal Mail have thought there was something suspect about it I wonder, ie something in with the card?

Have you ever suspected your dh is gay? Faggott isn't a word usually used for women.

Horrible that though. Not sure what I'd make of it.

Original poster

Janeandjohnny · 07/01/2022 23:28

Sorry I should have said. I am a guy- the husband. My wife thinks its odd but shes quite chilled. I am not gay nor unfaithful but did in college yesrs have bisexual experiences which my wife knows about but that was 25 years ago and everyone was pretty experimental. We have an excellent relationship, physically and emotionally, have kids etc.
It was my name on the envelope in pen, the writing inside was scrawled in marker. I spoke to a female friend about it and she thought it was a male sender.

OP posts:

AlbertBridge · 07/01/2022 23:30

It's from someone you had a bi experience with, I'd guess.

Original poster

Janeandjohnny · 07/01/2022 23:33

@thingymaboob

Meant for your husband? Sounds like someone wants to tell you something or they're being particularly vindictive. Does your hubby have any enemies?

Im the husband. I had one pissed off customer last year when despite me being very reasonable, accomodating etc I had to say that I was unable to work with her any longer. She was bananas about that but I explained again and that was that. Maybe that but I dont think so. I think its a male sender but maybe her husband and why now? I thought was there something in the envelope? but the paper does not look like it had anything in it. If there was something suspicious Im sure mail would have reported/ held it/ called police. I dont mind being called a Faggot, I do mind it coming like it did.

OP posts:

rattlemehearties · 07/01/2022 23:35

Agree with @albertbridge there doesn't seem to be a big mystery.... A man who you were with in the past who doesn't know your wife knows.

rattlemehearties · 07/01/2022 23:36

Why not report it though? It's literally hate mail.

Original poster

Janeandjohnny · 07/01/2022 23:37

@AlbertBridge

It's from someone you had a bi experience with, I'd guess.

I dont think so. I went to college in another country, am not in touch with anyone from college and moved to another city. I saw only a small proportion of men, openly and women too. Plus the address is not my business address it uses an older road address, which is a locally known road.

OP posts:

Original poster

Janeandjohnny · 07/01/2022 23:39

@rattlemehearties

Agree with *@albertbridge* there doesn't seem to be a big mystery.... A man who you were with in the past who doesn't know your wife knows.

See my comments on this. My wife is aware I had bi experiences and also aware that I am 100% faithful and committed.

OP posts:

rattlemehearties · 07/01/2022 23:40

Yes I understood that I just meant the sender obviously doesn't! They think they are outing you.

In the UK this fits the definition of a hate crime so report it to the police.

Original poster

Janeandjohnny · 07/01/2022 23:40

@rattlemehearties

Why not report it though? It's literally hate mail.

Yes but what will happen? Its not traceable?

OP posts:

Bluebluemoon · 07/01/2022 23:41

Don't throw it away - you need to keep it in case this escalates (don't mean to scare you but someone clearly has a beef with you).

I don't mean this rudely but do you have an effeminate manner at all? I'm wondering if someone (possibly who is homophobic or threatened by effeminate men) knows you and suspects you are gay and wants to put you on edge. It could be someone you know who thinks you might be gay. There are some bloody weird people out there.
I don't think it's kids though or a joke - it's malicious - they've gone out of their way to find your address and pay for postage - someone wanting a cheap laugh would egg your house or post a dog turd through the letterbox!

But also don't let it keep you up at night - this person is a coward who probably won't do anything that could land them in big trouble and it sounds like you and your wife have a secure relationship.

Wreath21 · 07/01/2022 23:44

Keep it for a few weeks at least and see if anything else happens. If there's another letter or any other unpleasantness, contact the police. It's rude and nasty but might just be random idiots and not dangerous.

Original poster

Janeandjohnny · 07/01/2022 23:45

@rattlemehearties

Yes I understood that I just meant the sender obviously doesn't! They think they are outing you.

In the UK this fits the definition of a hate crime so report it to the police.

Ah OK. But my wife is unfazed, she just thinks its as nuts as I do. Im kinda worried that this will escalate tho, maybe not. Frankly I could not care if anyone is gay, bi or whatever and I am not worried about anyone 'finding out' I had male relationships. Its not a secret I kept from my wife- I was 100% upfront. Socially I dont have a big circle as Im really into quiet time, hanging out with kids, walking dog etc. Not sure who it is which is maddening.

OP posts:

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