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Original poster

Anonymous letter in the post today- thoughts?

207 replies

Janeandjohnny · 07/01/2022 23:02

So today I get a card envelope which had been opened by local mail handling/ in error/ damaged. It was then re packed in a post plastic bag with an apology for damage and I got it.

My address had a quirk on it which is local, (my business is at my home address and that has the 'proper' address that I mostly use) so this letter I think is from someone local due to use of road name.

Inside was a sheet of paper with

FAGGOTT - time to leave the (drawing of a closet).

Kind of disturbing, odd and out of the blue.
Im happily married for 21 years and aged 48 if this makes any difference?
Should I ignore, throw away, tell police etc etc. Any thoughts?

OP posts:
Ginpostersyndrome · 08/01/2022 11:12

I'd log it with the police in case other local people are affected. You sound strong enough and confident enough not to be too fazed by this but someone else could be really traumatised.
When my dh received some threatening emails that, if I'm honest, I'd have just deleted, he informed the police. They were really grateful as some other people had had very similar and it helped them find the perpetrator and eventually they were taken to court.
I think the police will take it seriously.

mumwon · 08/01/2022 11:13

Sorry but someone hates you - they may have used this term as an open hit at you (the most demeaning insult their frail brains can think of) but as with many poison pen letters the random insult they use might have hit the fear spot
I would (a) keep it & (b) show it to the police in case they escalates it & if they are sending this to others &/or maybe their actions might lead to threats or blackmail threatening your livelihood or you & your family personally

Bluntness100 · 08/01/2022 11:15

Op, it’s going to be the last person you expect, not someone who is quite open in their comments. So it’s someone who is hiding it.

The person either knows about your previous experiences, or thinks from the way you interact you are gay. They are a nasty piece of work and defintely older. I’d suggest post retirement age too.

Juletide · 08/01/2022 11:16

Mail offices can be pretty jokey places, especially with Christmas temps in and so many regular posties off isolating.

I would put it away somewhere and see if anything else happens.....it probably won't.

DerAlteMann · 08/01/2022 11:18

Keep it. If you get anymore, inform the police.

6demandingchildren · 08/01/2022 11:19

I have 2 theories
1, a few items of post got damaged at the sorting centre and in someone's haste a few items got mixed up so instead of your card you got this letter instead, as that would explain the Christmas card style envelope and the different style of writing.
2, someone wrote a Christmas card to you and asked their partner/ friend to post it and they replaced the card with this horrid letter as they do not like you or have a grudge.

The only thing that is puzzling is why send a card/ letter after Christmas? Unless the post box they used is very rural and only gets collected once a week.

Allycott · 08/01/2022 11:21

Probably over thinking this - but -.ate you 100% sure it came through the post - could someone have put it through your door personally? This is someone close to you and isn't a coincidence but that's only my opinion.

Original poster
Janeandjohnny · 08/01/2022 11:27

@Allycott

Probably over thinking this - but -.ate you 100% sure it came through the post - could someone have put it through your door personally? This is someone close to you and isn't a coincidence but that's only my opinion.
No, we live in the country up a lane so postman delivers to the house, my wife say the post come in.
OP posts:
Onelifeonly · 08/01/2022 11:30

I doubt the police have the time or resources to investigate a one off like this. However you can record the incident with them online in case anything else happens, and I would keep the evidence.

I think it's far more likely it's from someone with a grudge against you who is using the f word as the worst insult they can think of, than it is someone who knows of your past. How easy would it be to dig back 25 years plus into your life? Internet use was fairly basic back then so they wouldn't get far online. And why would someone who knew you back then have a grudge against you today?

If they haven't used your business address, its unlikely to be a customer. More likely a neighbour or someone you know from your daily life.

Does the person whose name came into your head fit into these criteria?

Whatayear81 · 08/01/2022 11:38

Good heavens OP
I thought your name rang a bell

It is very relevant that you are an abuse survivor.

Could this not be related to that?

Allycott · 08/01/2022 11:40

I'm gonna throw this out there - unpopular as this may be - have you thought it could be your wife? Really sorry but its often the last person you think it could be. Did you see the post man or just her? She knows about your past?could she be looking for an exit strategy? How many spouses have posted on MN about having the rug pulled from underneath them while thinking everything was perfect?

JustUseTheDoorSanta · 08/01/2022 11:45

@Allycott

I'm gonna throw this out there - unpopular as this may be - have you thought it could be your wife? Really sorry but its often the last person you think it could be. Did you see the post man or just her? She knows about your past?could she be looking for an exit strategy? How many spouses have posted on MN about having the rug pulled from underneath them while thinking everything was perfect?
There are many less bizarre ways to leave a marriage.
Allycott · 08/01/2022 11:53

JustUseTheDoor - you're not wrong but doesn't mean it's not a possibility.

tearinghairout · 08/01/2022 12:02

I would also point to Christmas temps at the post office. From what you say, I don't think it's connected to your past. If not the post office worker having a laugh Hmm, then it's someone envious, and bitter, and unpleasant.
I would be very inclined to wander around the neighbourhood/down the pub dressed as Quentin Crisp, or at least dress up and put a pic on my Facebook page. Grin

I got a very nasty phone call a few days ago. The caller knew my full name. I didn't recognise the voice but it was a local accent (withheld number). There was giggling in the background - someone's kicks, sadly.

Original poster
Janeandjohnny · 08/01/2022 12:04

@Whatayear81

Good heavens OP I thought your name rang a bell

It is very relevant that you are an abuse survivor.

Could this not be related to that?

I dont think so. The person who abused me is dead. I think I resolved that a long time ago. But thanks for suggesting.
OP posts:
Original poster
Janeandjohnny · 08/01/2022 12:05

@Allycott

I'm gonna throw this out there - unpopular as this may be - have you thought it could be your wife? Really sorry but its often the last person you think it could be. Did you see the post man or just her? She knows about your past?could she be looking for an exit strategy? How many spouses have posted on MN about having the rug pulled from underneath them while thinking everything was perfect?
No I dont think so. We are pretty open about everything. That would be a plot twist tho!
OP posts:
mumda · 08/01/2022 12:12

Report it to the police.

I reported the threats of assault that came through the post inside a Christmas card.
No proof who sent it though, so that's the end of that. But always good to report it.
They might ask if you have any idea who it's from though.

Whatayear81 · 08/01/2022 12:12

I really feel for you OP.

Burn the letter

Go out for dinner with your wife tonight

Whatayear81 · 08/01/2022 12:14

* No I dont think so*

This is your response to someone suggesting it’s your wife??!

I don’t THINK so?

Op, if someone suggested my husband of 20 years sent the note and i couldn’t categorically laugh and dismiss as ridiculous

Then I’d be worried

RedHot22 · 08/01/2022 12:14

I think whoever sent this is achieving their aim. To unsettle you.

File it away and forget about it xx

Onelifeonly · 08/01/2022 12:28

If your wife could choose such a strategy to let you know her innermost feelings and you haven't noticed before that's she is a complete nutter, you have got a lot to worry about!!!

Original poster
Janeandjohnny · 08/01/2022 12:30

@Whatayear81

* No I dont think so*

This is your response to someone suggesting it’s your wife??!

I don’t THINK so?

Op, if someone suggested my husband of 20 years sent the note and i couldn’t categorically laugh and dismiss as ridiculous

Then I’d be worried

Im polite Smile No it absolutely was not my wife, for sure. She would not do this.
OP posts:
cauliflowersqueeze · 08/01/2022 12:31

Report it to police then forget about it.

If it escalates they will have the full story from the start. And if not it can be filed under “weird fuckwits”

I expect it’s the person who you thought it would be. You can tell police that and they can look into it. I think you’ll find they do care about this actually. It is a hate crime. It’s also malicious communication.

Marmite17 · 08/01/2022 12:34

This is horrible. I wonder if the difference in handwriting on the envelope /message was an attempt at anonymity? Had an awful situation with a fake Facebook profile and felt physically sick when I discovered it. Essentially a hate page. Got it taken down but to this day cannot be certain who started it. Very scary as by the time I discovered it it had snowballed. There were no direct threats in terms of coming to address and did die down. Think people behind it may have been scared at being found out as found main suspect had several Facebook profiles. No proof as so did some of their friends. This was early days of social media and dangerous as people, some completely unknown to original profile owner, who might appear normal in every day life were egging each other on to almost mob mentality. Nothing happened after the profile was removed.
I would definitely report your letter to the police just in case. People like this are cowards but could see it as sport. Teenagers?
Hope you are OK.

Youngstreet · 08/01/2022 12:43

@Whatayear81. Never burn a letter like this. If it escalates then the more evidence the better.