Jeez! Performance parenting is driving me insane!

[ChilledFizz]

Has anyone else noticed a performance parenting epidemic going on?

I know we all ham it up sometimes, but honestly this competitive, virtue signalling parenting seems to be turning into the norm.

Maybe it's because so many people have been stuck at home, and this is their way of letting off steam now that they can finally go out in the fresh air?

You can't make a thread like this with no examples...

Yeah I hate it when people maximise their kids' language acquisition, providing the foundation for their future learning.

Do you mean online or out in public? What have you seen? I've not noticed it

Doesn’t bother me so much. I’d just eye roll at anyone feeling the need to boast or show off. I’ll just happily do me and not engage in competition!

We've got 2 at the school gate - both men.

I hate that what was once just considered the parenting norm has now been labelled as performance parenting by those who don't want to do it.

You should be actively talking to your children about the world around them and getting them engaged with it. It has a huge impact, particularly in those early years and, as a teacher, there is a noticeable difference between children who have had that and children who haven't.

To be fair you can do that without talking so loudly the entire park can hear. And surely it would be better to actually focus on the child 100% instead of constantly glancing around to check if people are noticing. I don't know if my examples are like it at home with no one watching too but if they are it must be exhausting for the household 😆

Change your social media feeds?

I was in the Science Museum yesterday...It was full of them...all talking to their kids at full volume for the benefit of everyone else around them.
So glad my kids are grown up.

@myusernamewastakenbyme

I was in the Science Museum yesterday...It was full of them...all talking to their kids at full volume for the benefit of everyone else around them. So glad my kids are grown up.

Ah prime location. It's when they look around after they've loudly repeated back their DC's highly intelligent comment or funny quip, searching for eye contact of anyone that might have heard and is mighty impressed 😆

@Avarua, For goodness sake, nobody could argue against that. Of course you should be doing this, but I'm specifically talking about those who are so loud about it, for all of us to see and hear. I feel like they're waiting for an applause!

@liveforsummer, yes, this!

I don't know what this is so I'm worrying it's me

I’ve noticed a sort of change in “oh we go out for walks as a family” - walks should be normalised not boasted about.

And “oh we like books. We’re getting dear little Oliver books for Christmas” - again, books should be normal and not boasted about.

It’s strange to show off about these things because it’s all perfectly standard.

At least they are talking to their kids and interacting. I amazed any children learn to talk these days - parents seem to be permanently glued to their phones.

I'm probably just getting old.....

Are you sure they're showing off? Maybe they're just talking about books and walking?

Ah the performance parents will have their phones out, so they can take photos to post and let everyone know they do all this wholesome stuff.

@liveforsummer you phrased it much better than I did!

“Wholesome stuff”

Any specific examples?

I'm loud by nature(really need a hearing test tbh) so if I talk to DD , whether it's fun,bullshit,educational ,telling her off etc it's gonna be loud. The audience I have is irrelevant.

Science museum, talking to your kids, books, walking, wholesome. Aren't these all good things?! We need better examples!

It's better than the people half dragging their kids round the supermarket, swearing at them and telling them "wait till I get you home" in an aggressive manner.

It is harmless and fun for the kids though that type of parenting and I'm sure it does help their language acquisition. The other type is rather more sad. A dc I know there's always a performance from mum and dad when they hand him over, at school, hyping him up so he goes in disregulated , escalating his behaviour - lots of come back for one more hug, high five little secret hand shakes and you know it's for the benefit of everyone else and that dc is ignored the rest of the time.

When I'm out with my toddler, sometimes in a museum, I'll often talk loudly and clearly to him so he understand what I'm saying and that I mean it. This is one way I avoid problems...... are people judging me?