My boyfriend has a gambling problem ...I'm having to pay his rent,when is enough?

[slouggtg]

My boyfriend of 6 months.
I've found out last month he had no money.
He works 40 hours but is -900 in his overdraft.
His rent is £400 a month
He hasn't been able to pay it for two months.
He said he doesn't have a problem but it's obvious he does.
I paid his rent last month and this month but I can't keep doing it.
After I pay my bills /rent I'm left with £700 a month which I normally use to treats or nights out etc but after paying his rent and electric bill I have £200 a month left now.

Would you continue paying it?
If I don't he will be thinking i would rather waste money on shopping than pay his rent.

Im In over my head here

[quote slouggtg]@Bellyups he has spoke about moving in but I've told him no.
I won't move in with anyone yet as I don't want too and I'm not ready [/quote]
Don’t tell him that! He will work on you, tell him you wont move in with him because he has a gambling addiction and you have no intention of ruining your life by being dragged down by it. Then end this relationship, you can’t fix him, he needs to fix himself.

[quote slouggtg]@Bellyups he has spoke about moving in but I've told him no.
I won't move in with anyone yet as I don't want too and I'm not ready [/quote]
Oh course he wants to move in with you.... he'll have more money for gambling them.

Please dont kid yourself that he wants to move in to be with you... it's access to your money that he wants.

An ex boyfriend was a gambler. His own mother told me I'd always be wondering if the rent had been paid etc. He went on to marry and have a family. When his youngest child was a newborn their home was repossed.

Please don't be nieve enough to think this won't happen to you.

Walk away now before he socks you in any further

@slouggtg

One of my reasons was when we first met he was spoiling me rotten with gifts /meals etc and seeing him in a bad place made me feel awful for him.

He spends up to £500 a month on online slots and from what he said it's been going on years.

Get out now and don't look back . Run as fast as you can. I have been where you are. Never sign anything,never have children, never sacrifice any opportunities for this man. RUN RUN RUN His gambling addiction will destroy you.

If you are stupid enough to put up with this, you deserve to be fleeced out of every penny.

You ask when is enough? Is it not obvious what a freeloading loser he is? Doesn't matter how nice he WAS. He isn't now. A decent man wouldn't take a penny off you, desperate or not.

A man who'll let his girlfriend of four months pay his rent so that he can continue to gamble, is a total loser and user. And the fact that he'll see you not paying his rent as 'wasting money' on other things, just beggars belief.

End this relationship now.

I'm sure he'd LOVE to move in with you. Why wouldn't he? And you would be paying for everything and then one day you'd notice he was using your bank card for his gambling...

*sucks

Leave him now, he’s a liability.

Please, please OP - don't be an idiot.

Oh dear god. What everyone else said.

He’s a user. And once you’ve dumped him please think about why you felt like you had to do anything so daft.

Run for the hills, but I'm not convinced that you are listening to the great advice that you have been given.

Jesus wept.

Leave him right now. He will bankrupt you

You must stop paying his rent immediately. You've already done far too much.

He is a gambler and you will just throw good money after bad.

He needs to take responsibility for his actions and if you keep bailing him out you never will.

You are only 6 months into this relationship. Walk away. In fact, run away.

I have worked with gamblers for years. The majority will not change no matter how much they insist that they will.

So he gambles his rent money and you're paying it for him?

Do you have MUG tattooed on your forehead?

Don't be his enabler. Step right back and let him sort his own problems out.

Leave him! Ex of friend had serious gambling problem it never ended... They are always pleading poverty
End it now it won't get better

Don’t be a bloody fool. He saw you coming.

You aren't his girlfriend. You are his bank. He doesn't love you, he loves your wallet.

How can you not see that he is using you?

Don't be taken for a mug, and get rid. Once he bleeds you dry he will move on to the next gullible woman.

@slouggtg

One of my reasons was when we first met he was spoiling me rotten with gifts /meals etc and seeing him in a bad place made me feel awful for him.

He spends up to £500 a month on online slots and from what he said it's been going on years.

I'm saying this as kindly as possible...he saw you coming, lovely. Addicts have a 6th sense and they can sniff out kind, trusting, giving people like a pig sniffs out truffles. This is not your fault for being trusting. It is HIS fault for being selfish and entitled.

Tell him you are broke and don't want to run up debt to help him out. See how long it takes for him to turn on you and accuse you of not loving him, or being selfish. Tell him you will no longer subsidize him. See how fast he dumps you.

Seriously, think. What kind of a future do you think you could possibly have with someone who has a gambling addiction. You'd never be able to trust him, you'd never have any financial stability, you'd most probably never be able to get on the property ladder/have a child/have any of the 'good things' in life because YOUR money (as well as his) would go into the slots/ponies/how long it'll take a drop of rain to run down a window.

You need to dump him, now. It doesn't matter how he treats you on the surface. He can present himself as kind, loving, sweet, giving as he wants, but deep down he is a user with a HUGE sense of entitlement.

@slouggtg
Just wait until he's made homeless because he's gambled away all the money you've given him for rent.

Then it'll be 'well he was homeless and I felt sorry for him, so I let him move in.'

You don't know this guy. Leave him and don't throw your life, future and hope away.

So you'd only been together for four months and he persuaded / manipulated / guilted you into paying his rent?

Step away from this man. He's not your responsibility, and you cannot fix him. Nor should you even try. The fact that he took your money - well fuck me, he's quite the entitled charmer, isn't he?

Don't give him another penny. Not one. And FFS, have a long hard think about why you did this, because you are ripe to be financially abused. Walk away from him and focus on fixing yourself.

Why are you in over your head? You’ve been together 6 months?! Walk away.

You're not helping him by giving him any money. You're just enabling the behaviour. Google gamcare - there's loads of support on their forums for supporting a problem gambler.

Bloody hell, no.

At 6 months this is the absolute pits. Run, run away.