My boyfriend has a gambling problem ...I'm having to pay his rent,when is enough?

[slouggtg]

My boyfriend of 6 months.
I've found out last month he had no money.
He works 40 hours but is -900 in his overdraft.
His rent is £400 a month
He hasn't been able to pay it for two months.
He said he doesn't have a problem but it's obvious he does.
I paid his rent last month and this month but I can't keep doing it.
After I pay my bills /rent I'm left with £700 a month which I normally use to treats or nights out etc but after paying his rent and electric bill I have £200 a month left now.

Would you continue paying it?
If I don't he will be thinking i would rather waste money on shopping than pay his rent.

Im In over my head here

Come now, op has stated how he showered her with gifts and treats - classic lovebombing. She won't be the first or last to fall for these kind of tricks. Hope you're OK OP. Sorry that this has happened, and I hope you get all your money back too. It's easily worth £1000 to have him out of your life though.

No she’s not the first nor the last!! There must be a few mumsnetters, me included, that have no bailed out spendthrift/addicted/busker bums etc. exes in the past, only for the hard worked for and saved money to be lost for ever. When you look back you think “why the hell did I bail loser-boy out” what was I thinking?

Hopefully the OP is resolved not to bail him out any more! I only wish someone had given me a shake at the time, and told me to wise up!

@Loveagingernut's advice is basically what enabling is.

Sometimes, in fact most of the time, you have to let an addict fall so they can get up by themselves and start the hard road they're going to have to walk to sobriety, be it drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling.

I had to do this with my alcoholic brother. It was the hardest thing I ever did in my life.

@slouggtg

My boyfriend of 6 months. I've found out last month he had no money. He works 40 hours but is -900 in his overdraft. His rent is £400 a month He hasn't been able to pay it for two months. He said he doesn't have a problem but it's obvious he does. I paid his rent last month and this month but I can't keep doing it. After I pay my bills /rent I'm left with £700 a month which I normally use to treats or nights out etc but after paying his rent and electric bill I have £200 a month left now.

Would you continue paying it?
If I don't he will be thinking i would rather waste money on shopping than pay his rent.

Im In over my head here

Hey, just wanted to say that I am sorry this is happening to you. I'm late on the post I know lol. I have just left my compulsive gambling ex. Please please please do yourself a favour and run for the hills. Accept your losses and run. My ex manipulated me, threatened to unalive himself all the time and turned from this sweet innocent guy to someone I have never met before in a matter of days. He threatened to have my child took off me if I didn't give him any more money and that is when I realised I needed to run.

Please have a look on GamCare and the family and friends forum on it. Also join Facebook groups and do your research so you know what you're going to experiencing further down the line.

It hurts like hell but you deserve better than this. By the sounds of things you've been love bombed with the gifts etc.

This will not get better and you really don't want/have to live like this.

Feel free to contact me at anytime but please please do your research and lots of it before you make your decisions. Big hugs 💕

You are absolutely insane is you don't dump this loser right this very minute. Don't be a mug.

Unfortunately by being kind you are enabling him

You too will end up in debt. Move on only he can sort out this issue for himself when he is ready to