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Original poster

My boyfriend has a gambling problem ...I'm having to pay his rent,when is enough?

281 replies

slouggtg · 02/01/2022 15:48

My boyfriend of 6 months.
I've found out last month he had no money.
He works 40 hours but is -900 in his overdraft.
His rent is £400 a month
He hasn't been able to pay it for two months.
He said he doesn't have a problem but it's obvious he does.
I paid his rent last month and this month but I can't keep doing it.
After I pay my bills /rent I'm left with £700 a month which I normally use to treats or nights out etc but after paying his rent and electric bill I have £200 a month left now.

Would you continue paying it?
If I don't he will be thinking i would rather waste money on shopping than pay his rent.

Im In over my head here

OP posts:
midlifecrash · 02/01/2022 15:54

NOW. Now is enough. More than enough. The End.

Bonbon21 · 02/01/2022 15:55

You are being as stupid as he is smart.
He is using you.
You are enabling him.
This will last as long as you are throwing money at it.
Run.

Ragruggers · 02/01/2022 15:55

Stop doing it.It is his problem.This is not going to end well.By paying his rent you will then buy his food then the council tax etc don’t you see he must want to change or face homelessness.You want to be kind I can see but you will end up constantly paying month after month the gambling will not stop He needs help but must see the problem first.Google help lines for him but do not give him money.I speak from xperience it did not end well.

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WildImaginings · 02/01/2022 15:56

Obviously not..

Wolfiefan · 02/01/2022 15:56

So he won’t stop. Get out now.

ErrolTheDragon · 02/01/2022 15:56

If I don't he will be thinking i would rather waste money on shopping than pay his rent.

Why do you care what this loser thinks - or rather, might manipulatively claim to think? He prefers gambling to paying his own rent. That's his problem.

However, you might want to consider setting up a regular savings plan pronto and stash some of your spare. Apart from being a good habit, you simply won't have it available in your current account if he continues to try sponging off you.

Comedycook · 02/01/2022 15:56

Your title reads "I'm having to pay his rent"...no, no, no, you don't have to pay his rent. He doesn't care enough to pay his rent. This is absolute madness. You've only been together six months. Just finish with him, block him and work on your self esteem.

lomoloko · 02/01/2022 15:56

You need to get out of this relationship.

Nothingfallingdowntoday · 02/01/2022 15:57

It’s only been 6 months. This should not be happening. You are clearly responsible and independent. Capable of looking after yourself financially. would you not expect the same if a new partner?

You mean well but paying his rent is enabling him. I promise you he will not change because you bailed him out. It will only get worse as he now has a safety net. He might hide it for a while though so watch out.

Floralnomad · 02/01/2022 15:57

Rent or mortgage is a priority so he’s getting his priorities wrong . At only 6 months in I would walk but if you want to try and carry on then he needs to admit he’s got and issue and get some serious help .

ErrolTheDragon · 02/01/2022 15:58

One of my reasons was when we first met he was spoiling me rotten with gifts /meals etc and seeing him in a bad place made me feel awful for him.

Well, you've repaid his initial investment to the tune of £800 already.

amusedbush · 02/01/2022 15:58

Sorry to post again but a thought has occurred to me - how did you pay his rent? Did you pay it directly or did you just send him hundreds of pounds? Because if it’s the latter, he may not have even used it for rent.

carlygirly · 02/01/2022 15:58

Walk away before he bleeds you dry. You owe him nothing. He owes you £800. So far.

Nathlash · 02/01/2022 15:58

If I don't he will be thinking i would rather waste money on shopping than pay his rent

Just like he would rather waste money on online slot machines than pay his rent? Apart from the fact that you'd be 'wasting' your own money?

JovialNickname · 02/01/2022 15:59

How will he ever hit rock bottom whilst he has you paying his rent? You need to let him feel the consequence of his actions. He will never wake up or be accountable whilst you are enabling him. You've known him 6 months, what the actual fuck. Stop these payments to him now

LIZS · 02/01/2022 15:59

It has been going on for years, so I doubt this is the extent of his debt. What help is he seeking to stop and earn your respect, or are you just there to enable his habit? Tell him there is no more, he will bleed you dry otherwise.

IWentAwayIStayedAway · 02/01/2022 15:59

You are choosing to pay his rent. If you feel guilty about the spoiling at beginning basically reframe it. You paid for those treats. Get your ass out of there!!!

Daisydolly1986 · 02/01/2022 15:59

Runaway now!!

Thatsplentyjack · 02/01/2022 16:00

Coming from someone who lives with a gambler and has done for 10 years (didn't find out until after I gave birth to our firsr child) end the relationship now!

Sheldonesquey · 02/01/2022 16:01

Now. Now is enough.

If you stay and he carries on as he is, you will be floundering with him.

WorstXmasEver · 02/01/2022 16:01

I was a gambler. You may think you're helping by paying his way but he's now spending all of his money without consequences.

Please get rid of the guy as he's just no good.

newfriend05 · 02/01/2022 16:01

So a boyfriend of 16 weeks had you pay his rent!! Nope you can find better .. leave him to it .. no happiness will be found here .. and it's your money you can do want you like with it !!

MusicTeacherSussex · 02/01/2022 16:03

Fuck that! Enough was the first time he let you pay his rent.

Give your head a wobble

DiscoStusMoonboots · 02/01/2022 16:03

Grown adults should be able to manage their finances. I understand he has a gambling addiction, but he's not exempt from this rule - or at least shouldn't be. This is a huge burden to place on you after just 6 months and it can only get worse if you enable him.

My gut is that you should, kindly, cut your losses and let him know exactly why.

thetinsoldier · 02/01/2022 16:03

Bloody hell, you owe him nothing at this stage! Run away!