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Original poster

Absolutely Bloody Furious

282 replies

Hadalifeonce · 01/01/2022 12:24

DD went out with some friends last night, one of them staying with us. DD arrived home about 2:30am; no friend! Apparently she refused to come back with DD. I asked what friend was planning, DD had no idea, friend was not responding to any communication, she was with another friend so DD was communicating with 2nd friend. Then 1st friend disappeared so 2nd friend had no idea, 1st friend was off radar. I waited up til 4, DD came down saying still no contact. So we both went to bed. I lay awake, worried about this friend wondering what the hell she might do.
5am I hear DD go down and out the front door, Friend had got a taxi back but didn't know our address so the taxi driver got hold of her phone, found DD's name and called to get address.

I was woken about 8:30 by a strange smell. Came down to the kitchen, oven on, dozen or so charred fish fingers on the hob, couple of burnt fishcakes, an open tin of beans, various other jars opened and smeared on work surfaces; crap all over the floor. In the oven was a melted plastic lump embedded in the shelf, obviously a meal from the freezer put in the oven. DH has just found the fish finger pack, and remaining ones in the pantry.

When they surfaced, DD knew nothing of this, friend was just laughing saying she didn't remember anything, not just the food, but from about midnight.
DH stopped me going into the kitchen because I was so angry. DD and friend cleared up most of it, but friend's lift was waiting..... She left our house without saying a word to us.

DD was in tears, I have told DD that friend us no longer welcome in our house, and she needs to pay for the oven shelf she has ruined.

DD is really pissed off too, and has asked me not to do anything until she has communicated with her. We have known the family for about 8 years and I wanted to contact friend's mum to tell her what her daughter has done, as she is a student, I expect her parents will end up having to pay for my new oven shelf.

Crap start to the new year! Sorry it's long, but I cannot fully describe the total mess and blatant waste of food.

OP posts:
MrsLargeEmbodied · 01/01/2022 13:47

but you have known her 8 years?

rwalker · 01/01/2022 13:49

heat the shelf back up you'll get the plastic off

Sweetpea84 · 01/01/2022 13:49

Yes it must be because she has adhd Hmm

BeLessMe · 01/01/2022 13:49

@gulliblestravels

I think a lot of the replies must be from folk who do not have teenagers.
I agree.
Crinkle77 · 01/01/2022 13:51

However I’d get her to call the girl or her parents & sort out the oven shelf, or tell her you’ll be sorting it out with her parents yourself.

She's an adult. It's got nothing to do with the parents.

Santahatesbraisedcabbage · 01/01/2022 13:51

Maybe op was referring to the mixing of meds with alcohol.. I have teens (4) and would want to know if my dd had been in such a state.

BeLessMe · 01/01/2022 13:51

@MajorCarolDanvers

I'm not surprised you are angry but should you not claim repairs on your insurance and get them to pay the excess.
For an oven tray and some fish fingers!? Confused
asnippersdream · 01/01/2022 13:53

@OnaBegonia

Have now discovered she is on prescription medication. This can if worms is getting deeper and deeper Seriously? your nastiness towards this girl is really horrible. OP are you alway such a judgemental drama queen?
I was sympathetic until this. What has this got to do with you? Yes she's behaved atrociously but her medication is not something to speculate about.
rifling · 01/01/2022 13:54

I think a lot of the replies must be from folk who do not have teenagers.
I have teenagers. No, I would not accept this behaviour. And if you are staying at someone else's house you go home WITH them, you don't make them wait up half the night and then nearly burn down the kitchen.

Jaxhog · 01/01/2022 13:55

I agree Op. Some of the responses here are quite bizarre. Although the friend is technically a grown-up, I would have a little chat with her mother (since you know her) if only to express your concerns about her behaviour and to explain why she is no longer welcome in your home. If I was her mum, I'd want to know.

Sheldonesquey · 01/01/2022 13:55

I’d be emailing the parents.

A lot of us will have done daft things when drunk but not many of us will have ransacked someone’s freezer and damaged the oven.

I’d want to make this right. And make sure an apology was given.

You are fortunate it wasn’t worse.

LovelyLupins · 01/01/2022 13:56

Have none of you ever got blind drunk and done stupid shit? I am shocked at the outrage of what amounts to a fiver’s worth of fish fingers and an oven tray.
If you have an ounce of humanity OP, you should be worrying more about what happened to this girl in the time she went off radar, blacked out. Not your oven tray.

TeachesOfPeaches · 01/01/2022 13:58

It's a lot of drama over a few fish fingers and a tin of beans

Antiqueanniesmagiclanternshow · 01/01/2022 14:00

Why does the oven shelf need replacing?
Melted plastic will peel off when cold and then given a good scrub.
I can totally understand you being cross but your reaction seems ott.

Bananalanacake · 01/01/2022 14:01

I hope she closed the freezer door after she helped herself.

RampantIvy · 01/01/2022 14:03

I wonder if the posters who say the OP is over reacting would be as laid back if this did actually happen in their home.

IMO the OP is not over reacting at all.

ClaireEclair · 01/01/2022 14:03

@LovelyLupins

Have none of you ever got blind drunk and done stupid shit? I am shocked at the outrage of what amounts to a fiver’s worth of fish fingers and an oven tray. If you have an ounce of humanity OP, you should be worrying more about what happened to this girl in the time she went off radar, blacked out. Not your oven tray.
Totally agree @LovelyLupins The shit I got up to at 19! This is a very weird OTT reaction. The girl was probably mortified and wanted to get out of the house asap. I’m sure she will apologise when her head is clear. I think I would have been more worried about her than the food and the oven shelf.
AnotherMansCause · 01/01/2022 14:04

I hope your DD is ok OP. If they have been friends since they were 10/11 this must be very upsetting for her. As much because she's discovered her friend is struggling & unreliable, as the thought of losing a friendship due to the friend's behaviour.

Roaringlogfire · 01/01/2022 14:05

I think I would have contacted the parents in the night when friend didn't come back. The parents shoukd have been made aware and should have had the responsibility to find her. Lesson learnt for your daughter that's for sure.

Masdintle · 01/01/2022 14:07

There could easily have been a house fire here. This is extremely serious and much more than just teenage high jinx getting drunk. To use two ovens and a lot of food while drunk and seemingly incapable is why people die in house fires. Take it seriously.

dottiedodah · 01/01/2022 14:08

For those people saying its just a burnt oven tray and some fish fingers.There could have been a serious fire! The girl seems unhappy and troubled .This is sad obv ,but you have been put in danger by this girl .I would 100 per cent let her parents know .Apart from anything else if she is mixing her medication with Alcohol then she is putting herself at risk too .

TheWeeDonkey · 01/01/2022 14:08

I would be furious too. Sounds like your daughter's first resolution for 2023 should be to pick better friends.

And I don't know why you're getting such a hard time. I don't know how many PPs would be happy to have to wait up trying to find out what happened to your DDs errant friend only for her to turn up hours later, destroy your kitchen, waste good food and then fuck off without so much as a Happy New Year.

ghostyslovesheets · 01/01/2022 14:08

As a parent of teens I would have made them clean up and just chalked up to silly drunk teen shit - I'm not understanding the level of outrage to be honest.

Roaringlogfire · 01/01/2022 14:08

Those posters who are saying it's no big deal have obviously never had to worry about money. It would be upsetting to not only see this waste but also to wonder what child have happened had the kitchen caught fire. I too would be furious.

TheFormerMrsPugwash · 01/01/2022 14:08

I wonder what direction the OP thought this thread would take? Confused

I would be pissed off at this (and my DD and her friends have done this kind of thing and worse), but I certainly wouldn't be surprised or pissed off enough to start a thread about it. I'd also be pissed off at being woken up, but that's a different issue.

I have generally dealt with this kind of thing (which is quite common if you have a young person who likes to go out drinking etc - it's all alien to me as I never did it) directly with the young person concerned - along the lines of: "WTF have you been doing to my kitchen? You need to get it sorted out before you leave, and you will need to replace [broken or damaged item/s]". This includes random friends whom I've never met before, not just the usual suspects. But I wouldn't be so unreasonably angry that I'd have to be prevented from going into the kitchen. I'd just be matter of fact and clear.

I wouldn't involve the parents. I'd be concerned about the girl, though, and would probably be talking to my own DD to see what kind of support, if any, her friend is receiving.