Absolutely Bloody Furious

[Hadalifeonce]

DD went out with some friends last night, one of them staying with us. DD arrived home about 2:30am; no friend! Apparently she refused to come back with DD. I asked what friend was planning, DD had no idea, friend was not responding to any communication, she was with another friend so DD was communicating with 2nd friend. Then 1st friend disappeared so 2nd friend had no idea, 1st friend was off radar. I waited up til 4, DD came down saying still no contact. So we both went to bed. I lay awake, worried about this friend wondering what the hell she might do.
5am I hear DD go down and out the front door, Friend had got a taxi back but didn't know our address so the taxi driver got hold of her phone, found DD's name and called to get address.

I was woken about 8:30 by a strange smell. Came down to the kitchen, oven on, dozen or so charred fish fingers on the hob, couple of burnt fishcakes, an open tin of beans, various other jars opened and smeared on work surfaces; crap all over the floor. In the oven was a melted plastic lump embedded in the shelf, obviously a meal from the freezer put in the oven. DH has just found the fish finger pack, and remaining ones in the pantry.

When they surfaced, DD knew nothing of this, friend was just laughing saying she didn't remember anything, not just the food, but from about midnight.
DH stopped me going into the kitchen because I was so angry. DD and friend cleared up most of it, but friend's lift was waiting..... She left our house without saying a word to us.

DD was in tears, I have told DD that friend us no longer welcome in our house, and she needs to pay for the oven shelf she has ruined.

DD is really pissed off too, and has asked me not to do anything until she has communicated with her. We have known the family for about 8 years and I wanted to contact friend's mum to tell her what her daughter has done, as she is a student, I expect her parents will end up having to pay for my new oven shelf.

Crap start to the new year! Sorry it's long, but I cannot fully describe the total mess and blatant waste of food.

Glad it’s all sorted, @Hadalifeonce

won't be updating anymore, thanks for all your comments etc. last night will be the most memorable NYE I've had for a long time*

Good lord, you've had a very dull life! Glad it's sorted though. Like I said upthread, the apology followed, if a little late, you still got one.

@Hadalifeonce

Quick update, friend has sent a lengthy apology, has also told her parents and offered to pay for damage.

For those asking about going to bed, I was in bed but awake until friend arrived at 5am. I wouldn't call her parents at that time in the morning. Had I not been drinking, I would have been in my car looking for her, as although I am not her mother and technically she is an adult, I feel a responsibility to anyone staying in my house.
DD did not abandon anyone, friend was with another friend when DD tried to get her to come home.
I have responded to friend and among other things, pointing out the dangers of drinking until you have no idea, possible alcohol poisoning, collapsing in the open somewhere, we have a river where they were.
I am hoping that if she still has problems, this will have been a wake up call for her to get some more help, if she's currently not.
I won't be updating anymore, thanks for all your comments etc. last night will be the most memorable NYE I've had for a long time.

Sounds like a good outcome. She took responsiblity for trashing your kitchen and apologised. You've done the right thing for having concern her well-being. It's a tough world out there. Women for women!

@Hadalifeonce

DD has only just found out herself about previous occurrences, although this one is the worst, so has no problem with ending this friendship. I am still considering telling her parents, as this is bizarre behaviour, even when drunk, so much food. There must be something else going on.

I don't blame you for being furious!

As a fellow mother to a daughter, this is my fear when she was older. I would absolutely want to know if my daughter behaved this way in a friend's house. I'd also be horrified and would happily pay for all damage and food. Please tell her parents, they may genuinely not realise she's like this and one day it may happen somewhere more dangerous.

@Kshhuxnxk

What drama! Nobody died. Yes I'd be pissed off but for putting my DD in the position of not knowing where she was, couldn't get worked you about 20 wasted fish fingers.

Thought I was the only one thinking this is all a bit dramatic. No one died, instead of telling her parents you can tell her yourself especially if she is such a long term friend to your DD. The nuggets cost what? About £3.99? I find the concept of asking people to pay for damaged things unless they are very expensive pretty weird to be honest. I wouldn't end a friendship over this at all, I would shelve it for the memory book and have a good laugh about it in the future. The lack of apology would annoy me but I would speak directly with your DD's friend about it.

FML - still people minimising it.

Let’s just ignore the girl who has got wasted, whilst on medication, which likely hasn’t mixed well with drink. Let’s ignore the fact that she was so trashed that she (luckily) had a cab driver that helped her find where she should’ve be staying. Let’s ignore the fact that she trashed the kitchen and could well have caused a fire. Let’s ignore the fact that there are vile men out there who would find that girls situation a gift.

I couldn’t GAF about the bloody cost of the fish fingers, But I would care about the potential risk of fire in my home and I would also care about a girl who’s decision making was impaired by a mix of alcohol and medication.

It’s weird. There are, rightly, lots on here who rail against how unsafe our streets are. But then lots on this thread who don’t seem to understand that some people,e may need a small intervention re keeping themselves safe.

In the greater scheme of things, we shouldn’t have to worry/plan/react etc. But in reality, we need to. The behaviour of this girl was not “right”. Am glad she’s apologised, but the bigger picture is being more educational regarding the risks.

Agree Furries

Too much minimising, too much sneering.