Absolutely Bloody Furious

[Hadalifeonce]

DD went out with some friends last night, one of them staying with us. DD arrived home about 2:30am; no friend! Apparently she refused to come back with DD. I asked what friend was planning, DD had no idea, friend was not responding to any communication, she was with another friend so DD was communicating with 2nd friend. Then 1st friend disappeared so 2nd friend had no idea, 1st friend was off radar. I waited up til 4, DD came down saying still no contact. So we both went to bed. I lay awake, worried about this friend wondering what the hell she might do.
5am I hear DD go down and out the front door, Friend had got a taxi back but didn't know our address so the taxi driver got hold of her phone, found DD's name and called to get address.

I was woken about 8:30 by a strange smell. Came down to the kitchen, oven on, dozen or so charred fish fingers on the hob, couple of burnt fishcakes, an open tin of beans, various other jars opened and smeared on work surfaces; crap all over the floor. In the oven was a melted plastic lump embedded in the shelf, obviously a meal from the freezer put in the oven. DH has just found the fish finger pack, and remaining ones in the pantry.

When they surfaced, DD knew nothing of this, friend was just laughing saying she didn't remember anything, not just the food, but from about midnight.
DH stopped me going into the kitchen because I was so angry. DD and friend cleared up most of it, but friend's lift was waiting..... She left our house without saying a word to us.

DD was in tears, I have told DD that friend us no longer welcome in our house, and she needs to pay for the oven shelf she has ruined.

DD is really pissed off too, and has asked me not to do anything until she has communicated with her. We have known the family for about 8 years and I wanted to contact friend's mum to tell her what her daughter has done, as she is a student, I expect her parents will end up having to pay for my new oven shelf.

Crap start to the new year! Sorry it's long, but I cannot fully describe the total mess and blatant waste of food.

Have now discovered she is on prescription medication. This can if worms is getting deeper and deeper.

I had a friend who unknown to me had a cocaine habit, she would do stupid things like that in the middle of the night. Just a thought. She's no longer a friend (but not because of the food, she did far worse than that)

Charred food, melted plastic😱
Time to check your smoke alarm.

I think the going off radar before she arrived at your house speaks to bigger issues.

If you know mum I’d be calling her tomorrow to let her know what happened. Her DD was an absolute danger to herself and you and as a mother is want to know that abs is want to compensate for any damage done.

Smoke alarm working, DH just cooked bacon. No idea why it didn't go off for the melted plastic.
DH also discovered more cremated fish fingers in the other oven, so something like 20+ ruined.
Receiving info from DD. Apparently friend had/has anorexia, and ADHD. I did know she had counselling a few years ago, she then changed schools. So now I know why. Will not come back to this thread again, and will see what response from friend we get.

@Hadalifeonce

Have now discovered she is on prescription medication. This can if worms is getting deeper and deeper.

You just lost all my sympathy.

I don't think it's necessarily 'horrible' to bring up the meds - that makes it sound to me like maybe a few drinks + meds was a bad combo and resulted in the memory lapse and shonky behaviour so it is pertinent. I don't think OP is judging friend for being on them.

Thanks for listening to my rant everyone.

She's an adult, obviously don't ring her parents. Just chalk it up to experience. I'm not sure why you were quite so worried - most 19 year olds have left home and wouldn't expect their friend's mother to be awake waiting for them to return. She's not 15.

She treated the kitchen badly, she should apologise for that.

Tell her parents. If this was my daughter's behaviour, I'd want to know, and also try to make amends.

Oba / Hermione
I wasn't being nasty or judgemental, I was imparting the info I had received which might go someway to explaining such strange behaviour.

@HandScreen

She's an adult, obviously don't ring her parents. Just chalk it up to experience. I'm not sure why you were quite so worried - most 19 year olds have left home and wouldn't expect their friend's mother to be awake waiting for them to return. She's not 15.

She treated the kitchen badly, she should apologise for that.

Fuck that. If she wants to be treated like an adult, she should behave like one. She has behaved worse than most children, therefore treat her like a child. Absolutely tell her parents.

What does her being on medication have to do with anything?
She owes you for an oven tray. I couldnt get my knickers in a twist over a couple of pack of fish fingers. Phoning her parents? She is an adult.

Being drunk and cooking food is fairly common, yes burnt items in oven is annoying but not worthy of such a drama or the oversharing of this girls background.

Definitely contact her parents

@Hadalifeonce

Oba / Hermione I wasn't being nasty or judgemental, I was imparting the info I had received which might go someway to explaining such strange behaviour.

Thanks for clarifying, I apologise for jumping on you OP.

@MrsBerthaRochester

What does her being on medication have to do with anything? She owes you for an oven tray. I couldnt get my knickers in a twist over a couple of pack of fish fingers. Phoning her parents? She is an adult.

Well, she should behave like one. Showing respect and consideration for your hosts would be part of that.

I’d be angry regardless of what meds she was on. You don’t go into someone’s kitchen, cook food and ruin something in kitchen either way. She’s put your DD in an awkward position but I’d give friend til end of day to explain/apologise then contact her parents if nothing forthcoming.

What drama! Nobody died. Yes I'd be pissed off but for putting my DD in the position of not knowing where she was, couldn't get worked you about 20 wasted fish fingers.

awkward mornign after the night before.

you will look back and laugh one day op

It wouldn't have been so bad if she'd got up, apologised and tried to clean up.
Just leaving like that compounded it.

@OnaBegonia

Being drunk and cooking food is fairly common, yes burnt items in oven is annoying but not worthy of such a drama or the oversharing of this girls background.

In someone else's house?More than one oven? So much food?

The later info goes someway to explaining some of it and as this is an anonymous forum and, surprisingly, not everyone reads it, no confidences have been broken.

But OP might need some help working out how best to deal with it all.

I think a lot of the replies must be from folk who do not have teenagers.