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Original poster

Absolutely Bloody Furious

282 replies

Hadalifeonce · 01/01/2022 12:24

DD went out with some friends last night, one of them staying with us. DD arrived home about 2:30am; no friend! Apparently she refused to come back with DD. I asked what friend was planning, DD had no idea, friend was not responding to any communication, she was with another friend so DD was communicating with 2nd friend. Then 1st friend disappeared so 2nd friend had no idea, 1st friend was off radar. I waited up til 4, DD came down saying still no contact. So we both went to bed. I lay awake, worried about this friend wondering what the hell she might do.
5am I hear DD go down and out the front door, Friend had got a taxi back but didn't know our address so the taxi driver got hold of her phone, found DD's name and called to get address.

I was woken about 8:30 by a strange smell. Came down to the kitchen, oven on, dozen or so charred fish fingers on the hob, couple of burnt fishcakes, an open tin of beans, various other jars opened and smeared on work surfaces; crap all over the floor. In the oven was a melted plastic lump embedded in the shelf, obviously a meal from the freezer put in the oven. DH has just found the fish finger pack, and remaining ones in the pantry.

When they surfaced, DD knew nothing of this, friend was just laughing saying she didn't remember anything, not just the food, but from about midnight.
DH stopped me going into the kitchen because I was so angry. DD and friend cleared up most of it, but friend's lift was waiting..... She left our house without saying a word to us.

DD was in tears, I have told DD that friend us no longer welcome in our house, and she needs to pay for the oven shelf she has ruined.

DD is really pissed off too, and has asked me not to do anything until she has communicated with her. We have known the family for about 8 years and I wanted to contact friend's mum to tell her what her daughter has done, as she is a student, I expect her parents will end up having to pay for my new oven shelf.

Crap start to the new year! Sorry it's long, but I cannot fully describe the total mess and blatant waste of food.

OP posts:
MrsLargeEmbodied · 01/01/2022 13:29

you need to forgive and forget op

CSJobseeker · 01/01/2022 13:29

Don't contact her mum. The friend is an adult woman and it's not her mum that wrecked your oven shelf.

YANBU to be furious, and YANBU to expect her to pay for what she damaged. And YANBU to say she's no longer welcome in your home.

Mummyoflittledragon · 01/01/2022 13:30

I’d contact the parents. It sounds as if she needs more help.

Original poster
Hadalifeonce · 01/01/2022 13:30

If I can work out how to do it, I will ask MNHQ to delete this thread, it ended up going in a direction I really wasn't expecting.

OP posts:
CSJobseeker · 01/01/2022 13:31

YABU to judge her for being on medication though. That's nasty.

PaleGoldShimmer · 01/01/2022 13:32

Husband once collected teenager ( over 18) daughter and friend from a night out somewhere, possibly party.
Friend threw up in our car, and over our car rug, which she took into her home with her.

Husband had lovely job of cleaning car, and after months of asking if we could have the rug back, it was returned, the size of a scarf.

The lovely wool rug, had shrunk in too hot a wash I guess 😂😂😂😂

She was banned from getting a lift for a long while.

( due to throwing up in the car, not the rug, which was an accidental consequence)

Olliesocks · 01/01/2022 13:32

Re the medication, I assume the OP was referring to mixing meds and alcohol?

RampantIvy · 01/01/2022 13:32

You really don't get it do you @OnaBegonia.

The girl left the OP's DD to go home alone
She took her friend's hospitality for granted
She abused said hospitality by taking and ruining food that wasn't hers to take
She left the kitchen in a mess
She ruined an oven shelf
She didn't say thank you for her overnight stay
She didn't apologise for the mess she made

So, you would be OK with all of this? Really?

The OP wasn't aware of the girl's mental health problems when this happened, and quite frankly it still isn't an excuse.

@Hadalifeonce I would be furious as well.

MrsLargeEmbodied · 01/01/2022 13:32

@Hadalifeonce

If I can work out how to do it, I will ask MNHQ to delete this thread, it ended up going in a direction I really wasn't expecting.
how weird

what direction should it have gone

RampantIvy · 01/01/2022 13:33

@gulliblestravels

I think a lot of the replies must be from folk who do not have teenagers.
I agree.
rifling · 01/01/2022 13:33

I would be furious too. My friend's flat literally burnt down thanks to a drunk neighbour "cooking" like that.

MrsLargeEmbodied · 01/01/2022 13:34

what a story

Jacaranda75 · 01/01/2022 13:34

It’s not your DD’s fault. She must be gutted. What an awful friend Sad.

MrsLargeEmbodied · 01/01/2022 13:35

so you have discovered she is on medication and therefore perhaps should not drink?

Paddingtonthebear · 01/01/2022 13:37

Blimey. I think I actually would contact the parents and I would just say you are a bit concerned about their DD’s well being.

RampantIvy · 01/01/2022 13:37

@MrsLargeEmbodied

so you have discovered she is on medication and therefore perhaps should not drink?
Depending on the medication it might not have been wise to cosume a lot of alcohol.
slashlover · 01/01/2022 13:38

how weird

what direction should it have gone

Clearly, we should ALL have agreed that the friend was out of order and OP was free to be as nasty about her as she wanted.

I'd say the vast majority of the population are on "prescription medication" at some point. Mine is the pill and for high blood pressure.

SeasonFinale · 01/01/2022 13:39

The friend us an adult and therefore why would you involve her parents? The friend also made a choice not to come back with your Dd and stay out with a different friend. Her choice. Your DD chose to let her in. Any damage is down to the friend and not her parents. Either contact her and ask for repayment or don't. But nothing to do with her parents.

BedisBliss · 01/01/2022 13:39

Be kind to your daughter @Hadalifeonce - she has done nothing wrong and is clearly mortified. This kind of thing happens, chalk it up, move on, but don't have this girl to stay again.

Hobnobswantshernameback · 01/01/2022 13:43

I felt vaguely sympathetic until your most recent comments
How vulgar to need medication to treat a medical condition
Clutch those pearls a bit harder

Aderyn21 · 01/01/2022 13:44

Don't blame your dd - she didn't do anything wrong. I'd definitely contact girls mum - behave like a child, you get treated like one!
If this shot is happening regularly then her parents need a heads up anyway

MajorCarolDanvers · 01/01/2022 13:45

I'm not surprised you are angry but should you not claim repairs on your insurance and get them to pay the excess.

Furries · 01/01/2022 13:45

@Olliesocks

Re the medication, I assume the OP was referring to mixing meds and alcohol?
This. I don’t think there was any judgement re being on medication, it seemed more like realising that mixing alcohol and meds hasn’t had a good result. Including really impaired judgement - the not leaving with dd/being MIA/not knowing her destination.

The food/damage/fire risk would piss me off. But I’d be more concerned re the other stuff above.

Squills · 01/01/2022 13:47

At 19 she's an adult. Contact her direct.

Maireas · 01/01/2022 13:47

@Hadalifeonce

If I can work out how to do it, I will ask MNHQ to delete this thread, it ended up going in a direction I really wasn't expecting.
Just email them I'm the parent of adult children. I'd want to know if it was my daughter. I'd also encourage her to make amends.