Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

What jobs would put you off a new partner ?

446 replies

Raonbowwatermelon · 30/12/2021 13:35

Lighthearted and not meant to offend.

My friend's neighbour has recently asked her out. He's lovely.

But....he works as a funeral director and my friend says she finds this so , so off putting.

This kind of reminded me of an ex boyfriend who dumped me when I went for an interview as aa trainee dental nurse, ( he had a complete phobia of the dentist). I didn't get the job anyway...

But it got me thinking , are there any jobs that would be a hard no from you from prospective partners:

Think I would struggle with Tory MP, Boarder force or bailiff tbh.

Humour me, self isolating and bored, ( and also want to persuade my friend that her neighbors job really isn't that bad...)

OP posts:
userisi2 · 30/12/2021 21:15

@FireMeetGasoline yes to dentist. Do you think they judge you if you drink red wine and snack between meals though BlushI feel enough judgment when I go to my dentist twice a year, don't think I could manage it everyday!

TheCreamCaker · 30/12/2021 21:17

None. Any job is better than a person not wanting to work

Nivealove · 30/12/2021 21:21

@NiceTwin

None. A person's job does not define them.
It does to an extent.
Xtraincome · 30/12/2021 21:22

@TheCatsKilledTheGonks please start that thread. But tbh my list of appealing jobs is way longer than my turn offs Grin

TheCatsKilledTheGonks · 30/12/2021 21:22

@SivvyPlath

My DH has been in the forces for over 2 decades and hasn't ever killed anyone. It is generally a last resort, most of what they do now is stopping stuff happening before you get to the point of having to kill someone...

Thank God for a voice of reason.

My OH has also never killed anyone, and neither have the various other serviceman I know.

Oh, and they’re also all not away constantly - it depends entirely on the trade you’re in.

Right. But if called upon to do it he would have to, whether he agreed with it under the circumstances or not. And then you'd need to be able to live with somebody who had killed somebody. Could you?

If so then fine. But for many people, that's a red line and that is also ok.

Also don't forget the impact of PTSD. It is hideous (first hand experience of this with a forces family member who hadn't killed anybody but witnessed awful things and then became abusive).

And that many people don't wish to have a choice between: following a partner around to random places and having limited agency or career choices of their own, or continuity in friendships/ family relationships; or being alone much of the time/ very close to being a single parent for months at a time (if they want a family).

There is a reason why the divorce rate is so very high for people in these jobs.

EssexLioness · 30/12/2021 21:22

My husband is a doctor and has never struggled with PTSD, nor have any of his colleagues as far as he knows. Maybe he just got lucky. However it is really hard work.

My list would include:

  • rubbish collector, sewage plant worker etc: basically anything that was particularly smelly. Not through snobbery but because I am hypersensitive to smells and would struggle with that side of things.
  • butcher/ abattoir worker: I am vegan in response to some of the above posts

I can’t think of any others, except things that are illegal such as pimp or drug dealer.

TheCatsKilledTheGonks · 30/12/2021 21:24

@FireMeetGasoline

''Having read the thread I think it would be much quicker to list professions from which we would consider a date, rather than those ruled out. 🤣''

My dp of 20 years is an engineer (yep, I'm still not sure what he actually does 🤣), however, I would still be with him if he did a degree in mathematics (he did Confused) and I would still be with him if he became a bin man or a cleaner.

I'd also date a dentist. That 3am agonising toothache could be easily resolved if your partner had access to a bit of anaesthetic, pliers (sorry if that isn't the right terminology) and an ability to end horrendous pain. If dp and I ever part ways, I'm doing my best to find a lovely dentist dp Grin

Ummmm... dentists don't keep anaesthetic at home or treat family otherwise they'd lose their jobs. What a strange comment. Confused
userisi2 · 30/12/2021 21:26

Also don't forget the impact of PTSD

Are you honestly lecturing a military wife about the affects of PTSD?

HobgoblinGold · 30/12/2021 21:31

@EssexLioness

'My husband is a doctor and has never struggled with PTSD, nor have any of his colleagues as far as he knows. Maybe he just got lucky. However it is really hard work.'

As an ex medic - doctors are notoriously terrible at recognising and managing mental health, especially in themselves.

FireMeetGasoline · 30/12/2021 21:32

@userisi2 I do need a bit of a kick up the arse when it comes to flossing tbh. After your comment, I'm not sure a dentist would be a great option Blush. Still though, their skills would be amazing in those long, long hours of suffering and waiting to be seen. I'm pretty sure my engineer dp has offered to take the offending tooth out too, with actual pliers, in my time of need Shock. Obviously I told him to FO.

BlackCatz · 30/12/2021 21:33

@TheCatsKilledTheGonks

I honestly couldn't care less about any of what you've just written.

Our experiences are nothing at all like that.

BlackCatz · 30/12/2021 21:34

Name change fail there, but my statement still stands lol.

FireMeetGasoline · 30/12/2021 21:36

@TheCatsKilledTheGonks

''Ummmm... dentists don't keep anaesthetic at home or treat family otherwise they'd lose their jobs. What a strange comment.''

Why is it a strange comment?

mummypie17 · 30/12/2021 21:37

Anyone in the public eye - politicians, actors, singers etc. I value my privacy.

RevolvingPivot · 30/12/2021 21:37

Royal Marine. Awful to be married to one if you have anxiety OCD and hate change!

notatroll45 · 30/12/2021 21:47

Bouncer, but having worked in nightclubs I've seen how many of them have cheated, I could never trust them.

lightisnotwhite · 30/12/2021 21:49

Anyone on stage or screen. It would piss me off they got paid a fortune for such an easy job. I wouldn’t like the divide between public and private life. I wouldn’t like them being the “important” one in the relationship.

Anyone with practical skills that could help in an emergency situation is ok in my book; farmers, armed forces even abattoir worker.

CrimbleCrumble1 · 30/12/2021 21:52

Reality star.

RevolvingPivot · 30/12/2021 21:52

Can we have a thread for jobs we would like a partner to have? (Joke obv).

A trade would be nice. Plumber Joiner Mechanic or just anything with a decent wage.

DH retires in 2 years after doing 22 years. He's only got two proportions until he reaches the top. You currently get more as a manager at Aldi than he does. He's looked into it. No offence to store workers but I was shocked.

userisi2 · 30/12/2021 21:53

@RevolvingPivot what rank is he? What does an Aldi manager earn?

RevolvingPivot · 30/12/2021 21:57

Colour Sargent he said £50+

EssexLioness · 30/12/2021 22:21

@HobgoblinGold yes that is very true and may apply to some of DHs colleagues. Also there is a bit of a culture of not talking about your stress and just getting on with it. However, my DH is so relaxed he is practically horizontal and has not had a problem so far, though obv never say never!

Mammyofonlyone · 30/12/2021 22:44

@Raonbowwatermelon

Lighthearted and not meant to offend.

My friend's neighbour has recently asked her out. He's lovely.

But....he works as a funeral director and my friend says she finds this so , so off putting.

This kind of reminded me of an ex boyfriend who dumped me when I went for an interview as aa trainee dental nurse, ( he had a complete phobia of the dentist). I didn't get the job anyway...

But it got me thinking , are there any jobs that would be a hard no from you from prospective partners:

Think I would struggle with Tory MP, Boarder force or bailiff tbh.

Humour me, self isolating and bored, ( and also want to persuade my friend that her neighbors job really isn't that bad...)

Border
deerison · 30/12/2021 23:02

Drug dealer. Think I'd also struggle with pest control.

ichundich · 30/12/2021 23:06

Hedge Fund Manager