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Original poster

Help me not be that smug parent?

175 replies

Pigletting · 28/12/2021 18:05

DS is the dream baby. Sleeps well, laughs all the time, doesn't cry unless really gassy which doesn't happen much. You get the drift. Fully aware this is pot luck and if we have another child we might have a real wailer.

But people continually ask things like "is he keeping you up all night" / "I've not heard him cry yet, does he save that for when you're alone" etc. I really don't want to lie. But I am struggling with ideas for responses which don't sound smug. "Luckily he's pretty content" just seems to make (some) people roll their eyes! I get it would be annoying if you were having a hard time right now with your own baby, but I don't actually have any friends/relatives with babies so it's not that. But for whatever reason it really winds people up! I don't want to be annoying!

So any ideas for honest, non-smug answers to these types of questions?

OP posts:
Cam2020 · 28/12/2021 18:07

'He has his moments'.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 28/12/2021 18:08

Meh, be smug. Might be your only chance.

DS was a really easy baby, child, teen and now young adult. I’m still waiting for the catch…

Jacaranda75 · 28/12/2021 18:08

Just lie! My DD has always been very easy. However, my eldest DC were terrible so I have an insight into how things are on the other side. When people compliment her, I usually say something like, "she has her moments!"

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Families
ThesecondLEM · 28/12/2021 18:09

Just enjoy your lovely easy baby. My first slept the night at two weeks.

My second... Two years, although number two is proving to be an easier teen

Jacaranda75 · 28/12/2021 18:09

Cross-post with @Cam2020 Grin.

teaandcake22 · 28/12/2021 18:10

I used to say 'so far', I didn't want to count my chickens! 😆

SalcombeSunset · 28/12/2021 18:11

You’re not smug for telling it like it is. Ignore other peoples reactions. IME people love to find fault with you/your baby/your parenting approach so they’re probably just irked you have no issues to report!

DD was a brilliantly chilled baby and good sleeper, happy to tell people that and don’t care if they think I’m smug!

GoldenFondue · 28/12/2021 18:11

What age is this baby? There's still time Grin You could just say this he's ok for now, but you're sure your time will come!

WorraLiberty · 28/12/2021 18:11

Honestly I don't think people really care that deeply about how you answer. I'm sure they'll just be pleased that you're enjoying your baby.

My middle DS was like this and I probably said something like, "He's very placid".

I remember avoiding the word 'Good', because that makes it sound as though not so placid babies are somehow 'naughty' Grin

Moonface123 · 28/12/2021 18:12

" I've been lucky, so far ".

Ionlydomassiveones · 28/12/2021 18:12

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

fizzypiggy · 28/12/2021 18:24

Be smug!

I was that mum and now I have a 6 year old who doesn't stop for air from talking.

They will all have their moments that humble you eventually!

Original poster
Pigletting · 28/12/2021 18:25

@GoldenFondue

What age is this baby? There's still time Grin You could just say this he's ok for now, but you're sure your time will come!
Haha I know! Just waiting for him to suddenly crack out a projectile vomiting habit or similar. He's 3 months so plenty of time...

Thanks for the suggestions, some good ideas already!

OP posts:
SummerHouse · 28/12/2021 18:27

"We don't know if we are so relaxed because he is, or he's so relaxed because we are."

Don't say this.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 28/12/2021 18:28

“Touch wood so far we’re lucky, sure the toddler years will fun”

Yujbt · 28/12/2021 18:28

I have 3 kids and they are all great sleepers. I co sleep with them all. On second thoughts maybe they aren’t but I am so fast asleep that I don’t even know that they aren’t sleeping great. Huh. Never thought of that. Anyway no one cares! People ask questions for the sake of conversation. No one actually cares.

TopCatsTopHat · 28/12/2021 18:30

Could be worse from what I hear, but babies are intense aren't they, thanks for asking.

Just10moreminutesplease · 28/12/2021 18:30

People used to constantly comment on how laid back my baby was. Then when he went through a fussy stage everyone commented. I heard “ooh that’s the first time I’ve heard him cry” constantly Grin.

Just enjoy it while it lasts. Some babies are definitely easier than others (my 11 month old is still relatively easy most of the time, completely expecting my next one to be a screamer!). But everything is a stage when they are small.

Uniforn · 28/12/2021 18:31

I don't think anyone is really that bothered, it's just making conversation. 3 months though...ahhh.

Camembear · 28/12/2021 18:31

I just mumble something like “she’s ok”. To
Be honest I feel like if I brag too much the universe will teach me a lesson so I keep it to myself.

LakeShoreD · 28/12/2021 18:39

Don’t overthink it. When anyone asks just say he’s quite chilled and sleeping well for now. Chances are people are just making conversation and don’t actually care that much! And it could all go tits up anyway- lots of people find 4 months a struggle for sleep.

confuseddotcom1234 · 28/12/2021 18:39

Enjoy it my first was the dream baby though a fairly full on toddler. My second much more full on, doesn't sleep well and much less content. Enjoy the easy, chilled baby and don't feel guilty (trust me completely understand had someone who made me feel guilty for mine being easier than hers).

ittakes2 · 28/12/2021 18:39

Sleep can get worse around 6 months when they have the energy to fight sleep so I would hold off on the whole smug thing just yet!

Holly60 · 28/12/2021 18:41

Yeah just add ‘for the moment’ to everything and it softens the blow. ‘Yes he’s a good sleeper, for the moment’, ‘yes he’s pretty happy to play by himself, for the moment’ etc

SomethingNastyInTheBallPool · 28/12/2021 18:42

DD was the easiest baby ever. She was sleeping through the night before she was even full term and was a content, chirpy, cuddly baby when awake. I’d just have to keep very quiet when other friends with babies were on their knees with tiredness. But while my friends’ children are mostly quite civilised now, DD(7) runs us completely ragged. Karma, I suppose.