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Original poster

Help me not be that smug parent?

175 replies

Pigletting · 28/12/2021 18:05

DS is the dream baby. Sleeps well, laughs all the time, doesn't cry unless really gassy which doesn't happen much. You get the drift. Fully aware this is pot luck and if we have another child we might have a real wailer.

But people continually ask things like "is he keeping you up all night" / "I've not heard him cry yet, does he save that for when you're alone" etc. I really don't want to lie. But I am struggling with ideas for responses which don't sound smug. "Luckily he's pretty content" just seems to make (some) people roll their eyes! I get it would be annoying if you were having a hard time right now with your own baby, but I don't actually have any friends/relatives with babies so it's not that. But for whatever reason it really winds people up! I don't want to be annoying!

So any ideas for honest, non-smug answers to these types of questions?

OP posts:

Morred · 28/12/2021 21:46

I used to say DS was probably lulling us into a false sense of security when people commented.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 28/12/2021 21:52

@Cam2020

'He has his moments'.

This is all you need. Hardly difficult

It's way too early at 3 months to be smug mum

grumpytoddler1 · 28/12/2021 22:01

You could go with the Joe Wicks approach - 'It's because of the hypnobirthing and because we are so chilled, I'm certain if it.'

That'll win you a few friends

Interested in this thread?

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Families

Wickywoo1984 · 28/12/2021 22:02

My dc now 10 has generally been a breeze. Slept through from 12 weeks, had a few blips along the way with teething, cot climbing etc but all settled after a few weeks. Never experienced a tantrum, though at 10, I actually feel parenting is harder due to the emotional stuff- hormones, friendship issues, schooling, supporting independence. Dc needs me more/ relies on me more now than what they did in lots of ways compared to the early years.

I learnt though that most things are usually a phase. Enjoy the good, and know that the 'bad' bits are unlikely to last.

autieok · 28/12/2021 22:16

Why do people want you to suffer??!! Enjoy your easy baby. You will probably struggle at some point so relish in it now.

user290814356289 · 28/12/2021 22:29

I also had a very easy baby who has additional needs. I had no idea he was in his own world until he was around 18 months.

thaegumathteth · 28/12/2021 22:37

I don't think people without similar aged babies genuinely care tbh.

My first didn't sleep well AT ALL until he was 3. It was exhausting but it's just the way he was.

My second slept through almost straight away. I didn't do anything different particularly.

I just said the same answer to the usual conversational questions 'oh yeah babies can definitely be hard work!' . I didn't really elaborate on the fact that dd slept all the time and ds didn't sleep ever. --I'm sure they could tell by my
Appearance!--

WhoUsedMyName · 28/12/2021 22:44

Honestly just be smug ds was a dream! Now 6months straight nightmare he's 1 in the morning he's lucky he made it to 1 😂
Butter wouldn't melt through the day I'm sure no one believes me that he's a vampire comes alive at night to kill me!

BrieAndChilli · 28/12/2021 22:49

In my experience no. Hold is perfect, and they are all different! Some are good sleepers, some are early walkers, others are early talkers, some are super fussy with food, others gobble up everything!
Just enjoy this time and if people comment then just say something like I’m sure he’ll soon have us on our toes or you wouldn’t say that at 3am or whatever.

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 28/12/2021 23:11

I remember when dd only slept for 11 hours instead of her usual 12 one night and being public enemy number 1 at baby group that week for saying l'd had a tough night. S'all relative innit?
Yeah just say oh we have good days and bad!

HolesInMySocks · 28/12/2021 23:13

Be smug! Enjoy it.

I used to play it down with dd as she was an angel. WAS.. Now she's a devil threenager!. (light hearted)

My youngest is the opposite. Doesn't sleep. Doesn't stop whinging for more than 10 min a time. Doesn't eat, oh how I wish to be smug right now

hopsalong · 28/12/2021 23:33

Have some more. You're very unlikely to have two dream babies, then your answers are sorted for you.

My husband and I did secretly think we were a bit talented at the whole parenting lark when our first child slept through the night from three months, never cried, and read all of the Harry Potters before he was six. Then we had a mother child and he cried constantly, co-slept until he was four and still can't read.

bloomingheck1 · 28/12/2021 23:37

Can I just say my DS was like this up until recently and I was smug but you know karma and all and he's a handful now, still never cries though and sleeps 12 hours a night so still smug on that

PoshWatchShitShoes · 29/12/2021 07:06

Lol I thought I was the best parent ever with my easy sleeping DC1. Then DC2 arrived and woke up every 2-3 hours....for 3 years!!! There's no DC3, as I couldn't risk the sleep torture again 😂

milkieway · 29/12/2021 07:18

He must be an easy baby if you've time to worry about this especially as your not around other new mums you've no chance of offending anyone so just say "for now" and revel in it. you might be one of the lucky ones who doesn't experience the sleep regressions etc but things can change sooo quickly with babies x

I know whenever I even felt the tiniest bit smug for the tiniest of moments (EXTREMELY rare with my little wailing sleep thief) he would tend to immediately remind me otherwise

sweetbellyhigh · 29/12/2021 07:21

God what miserable sods you have in your life. I'm genuinely thrilled to hear happy and proud parents talk about their babies. It's a very special time. Enjoy!!!

Confusedandworried321 · 29/12/2021 07:36

Don’t lie, just don’t be braggy. “Yes so far he sleeps well, thanks”, or along those lines.

My DS was the perfect baby and toddler, he slept well from very early on (still does!).

At 3 he became hard work and at 6 he still is, he is often The One moaning/sulking/being rude in a group whilst the other children are behaving. Enjoy the ease while it lasts!

MrsBouquet5678 · 29/12/2021 08:05

My first baby was like this, perfect and we had plenty of sleep and no problems ever. When people asked me I'd just be honest and say I was just taking each day at a time, doing what everyone else does and that we'd just gotten lucky but aware things can change at any time. No one thought I was smug. Alot of my friends had babies at the same time so we all talked alot about ours dos and don'ts to help each other out. Most people know that all babies are different. My second baby didn't let us sleep for three years and we did everything the same! Don't overthink it,just enjoy it, please enjoy it and I hope it lasts for you! Well done and congratulations and if anyone makes you feel smug just let it go or reduce your contact with that person, don't let anyone make you feel bad for having a good baby

mugoftea456 · 29/12/2021 09:23

Oh be smug while you can !

Notmrsfitz · 29/12/2021 17:33

I absolutely advise you to simply count your blessings internally - my eldest 2 children were text book babies - then came the surprise loveable but rule breaker - slept 3 hours out of 24 for the first 3 years, had a dairy and wheat intolerance that caused so many poo namis whilst weaning and whilst he is one of the biggest blessings in my life- in comparison his baby days were a nightmare!!!

Whyyyyyyyohhhhhwhyyyyyy · 29/12/2021 17:37

Eldest DC was the dream baby, second he turned 1 the devil took over and has been like that for the last nearly 13 years
Youngest DC cried a lot, was really mardy (only really coming out of that now at nearly 4 years old).

You can be smug if you want to be smug I was about my eldest but like I said that lasted 12 months 😂

Varmak · 29/12/2021 17:40

Agree- no one actually cares so don't sweat it! Just make a joke about him going off the rails when he's older. Unless you are actually secretly thinking it is down to your superior parenting skills ?

MaggieCassidy · 29/12/2021 17:52

My baby was the same and I got constant eye rolls at everything I said in my NCT group. Everything was interpreted as either smug or a humble brag. I could do no right.

Then at 9m my baby developed a very serious condition meaning lots of hospital stays and tests, and I thought they’d be half glad to hear of our struggles with that as we had no others to share but no, I just got more eye rolls as if I were the worst bore in the world.

Just enjoy your baby as he is now and try not to worry about how others are perceiving you as you really have no control over how they will interpret things.

ilovechocolate07 · 29/12/2021 17:56

Honestly, don't worry about it. Parenthood 'wins' come in waves. As the mother of a teen and pre-teen we've had so many smug/joyous moments and bottom of the barrel moments and I'm sure there are more to come. I liked the 'at the moment' comment. I think you can be proud and humble at the sane time.

CambsAlways · 29/12/2021 17:57

Be smug it could come later 🤪

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