Help me not be that smug parent?

[Pigletting]

DS is the dream baby. Sleeps well, laughs all the time, doesn't cry unless really gassy which doesn't happen much. You get the drift. Fully aware this is pot luck and if we have another child we might have a real wailer.

But people continually ask things like "is he keeping you up all night" / "I've not heard him cry yet, does he save that for when you're alone" etc. I really don't want to lie. But I am struggling with ideas for responses which don't sound smug. "Luckily he's pretty content" just seems to make (some) people roll their eyes! I get it would be annoying if you were having a hard time right now with your own baby, but I don't actually have any friends/relatives with babies so it's not that. But for whatever reason it really winds people up! I don't want to be annoying!

So any ideas for honest, non-smug answers to these types of questions?

I go with he seems to be pretty easy going so far. Fingers crossed that continues!

Enjoy the smugness. My child was an absolute star until she turned three. Then she turned into a complete bell end until she was about seven. Don’t get sucked into the whole baby comparison thing. It’s not healthy.

Beware - dream babies turn into nightmare teenagers. Speaking from experience!

There's nothing wrong with honesty. Just don't attribute it to supposedly superior parenting.

DH did nearly get lynched for bragging about sleeping-through when DS1 was 3m... I wasn't sure if the other sleep deprived mum was going to get him first... it was DH sleeping through DS's frequent feeds. Deeply aggravating!

My friend had a beautiful little girl who slept right through the night. She did everything slightly ahead of when she should have done for her age.
She never ran around making a pest of herself when out. My friend was very smug about her child saying its the way you bring them up.............then she had the second child from hell, he kept her up all night until he was two and he wouldnt do as he was told she was regularly at A&E with him because he was a daredevil. She isnt so smug now.

Just don’t say the intensely irritating and self congratulatory’I think he’s so laid back because his father and I are so relaxed’.

@teaandcake22

I used to say 'so far', I didn't want to count my chickens! 😆

Something like this! I had two easy babies, they are feral toddlers. Just say he's a pretty content baby, but sure you will pay for it later!

To be fair DS2 is an absolutely fantastic sleeper. Just feed him and plonk him down and he jiggles his lil rolls and then goes to sleep. He’s always known that night is night too so none of that up at 2am shite.

Whenever someone says ‘how’s he sleeping for you’ they always do a double take head spin when I smile and say ‘great’

Revelling in it until the 4m regression 😂 sure it’ll end there.

I’d just be honest and say it’s all going ok, and then ask how they are doing/feeling/if they’re ok. When DD was a baby and I was going out my box with tiredness I would only ever begrudge someone their perfect, docile babies if they tried to claim it was anything other than luck. I always appreciated someone asking how I was doing though!

I was smug once. Then I had teenagers. Not so smug anymore....😉

"is he keeping you up all night"
Reply: no, not really
"I've not heard him cry yet, does he save that for when you're alone
Reply: no he's quite chilled
People rolling their eyes!
Response: ignore - and think about whether you need these people in your life
People getting wound up
Response: see previous

And you can add to any of the above: sorry to disappoint, however there's plenty of time yet, if that's what you're wishing on me...

I found babies really easy tbh. A lot of my friends have newborns now and even the trickier ones still sleep a lot at 3 months..
I do find breastfed babies like mine in no way slept as much as formula fed babies but over all it was a billion times easier than the toddler part for us..

There's nothing wrong with being happy about your baby being chilled but agree with a pp when v new parents of one small baby talk about how their Baby is "chilled" because they are so relaxed 🙄🙄🙄

If you’ve got an easy going baby good for you. Tell people. How they react is on them not you. Mine (although he’s 2 now) had stomachache issues and food allergies. It’s been hell lol I always find the condescending ones try tell you how to parent. As long as your ok with it and the child obviously isn’t at harm….crack on.

Both of mine were very easy as babies, toddlers, young children. All you do is smile and say "We've been very lucky with them so far".

The teen years had their 'moments', but they never came home 'in an altered state of consciousness', were never brought home by the police, or suspended from school but I don't know if that's because of good behaviour or just not getting caught. At this point (in their 30s) I've told them if I didn't find out about their antics when they happened I certainly don't want to know about them now!

I used to accentuate my dd's defects when talking to other people out of a sense of solidarity, but I don't think I did her any favours by being like that as she is not the most confident of people.

Just laugh and say 'I'm sure he'll be a nightmare teen'. He might be! In the meantime, just enjoy him.

Haha! My first was like this. My mum kept saying to me, “You’ll not have another like him!” She was right… we had twins and they are certainly not easy. Enjoy your baby and don’t feel ashamed.

My fourth was the best as a baby...when all the dickheads asked if he was 'good' I just replied "he's a baby so hasn't learnt what that means yet"

Ah ha, I was you and then we had a clingy wailer! So yes, I'm sure you're a great mum but you're lucky with a placid child. You can be more honest with people who don't currently have young children but never make out it's entirely because of your excellent parenting decisions.

I did always add the caveat it’s nothing I’ve done he’s just easy. This was proved correct when I did exactly the same things for Dtwins with very different outcomes. 😂

Just say "I'm really lucky, he's an easy baby".

I was like you op...my Ds was an absolute dream baby. I was genuinely confused when other mums would moan that it was hard.

He's a teenager now and an absolute nightmare

Our DD is exactly the same and I always just say, she’s so good but I’m sure it will change!

They change every 3 months or so. Don't worry about feeling smug

My DD was the same when she was a baby. Friends would comment how lucky I was. She was my first born so didn't know any different. Always smiling and a easy baby.
A few years later I had my son. He was completely different. Never slept, always hungry, didn't settle and as he grew he would climb everything. He climbed out of his cot at 16 months. Barely could walk but climbing he was brilliantly at. Remembered having this tiny tot in his pushchair and I was queuing at the till with a basket full of nappies, etc and he decided to stand up in his pushchair, backwards and put both hands in the air. The basket went everywhere, I grabbed my DS and put him under my arm, while picking up the items of the floor. Not sure how I manage to paid for everything, pack the items with a 16 month old, pushchair etc, one handed.
Had another DS and he was like My DD. Very easy.
My children are 14, nearly 12 and 10. They are all lovely apart from my DD being stroppy and I am sure the boys will be the same.
I look back at them being babies and miss it. I don't miss the lack of sleep but definitely miss then being so small.