Help me not be that smug parent?

[Pigletting]

DS is the dream baby. Sleeps well, laughs all the time, doesn't cry unless really gassy which doesn't happen much. You get the drift. Fully aware this is pot luck and if we have another child we might have a real wailer.

But people continually ask things like "is he keeping you up all night" / "I've not heard him cry yet, does he save that for when you're alone" etc. I really don't want to lie. But I am struggling with ideas for responses which don't sound smug. "Luckily he's pretty content" just seems to make (some) people roll their eyes! I get it would be annoying if you were having a hard time right now with your own baby, but I don't actually have any friends/relatives with babies so it's not that. But for whatever reason it really winds people up! I don't want to be annoying!

So any ideas for honest, non-smug answers to these types of questions?

If anyone is complaining about their baby/child I always lie about mine doing the same thing 🤣. So yes agree with pp just lie a bit! Or up what he does do.. Ie the upset at being gassy... Mention that in reply! It's crazy we can't just say the truth but hey ho.

Lol. I was smug too. Then she turned 4.

I had super easy babies. DS1 slept 11pm-6am from 10 days old. Neither baby really cried except when hungry, both nursed easily, took bottles. Had easy, quick labors with them both, easy recovery etc.

If you know it’s luck of the draw then you’re not being smug 🤣

I figured there’d be hell to pay when he was a toddler and I was right! Absolute hellion, never stopped for a minute, ran everywhere at full speed. Still slept but barely ate anything and weaning him was a task as I recall.

I had the two easiest babies and little girls. They’re both in their early 20s now, and are great.

NOTHING prepared me for the teen years. Hell. It was absolute hell.

It’s shit that people think you have to wear sleep deprivation as a badge of honour and to answer honestly when you don’t have a difficult baby is being smug.

My daughter slept well, if asked I would say that. The only time I watered it down was if I were talking to another mum I knew was struggling with it. Like I’ll say she is well behaved and doing very well at school. Not smug, not bragging, just answering honestly.

My eldest slept through the night from 8 weeks but then the 4 month sleep regression hit and he was waking every 2 hours and then didn't sleep through until 2! My 2nd is 10 weeks and sleeping through the night currently but I'm sure that's all set to change! Definitely saying something like "for now..." is the safest rather than being too smug when everything could change (I really hope it stays the same for you though!)

Lol. I was smug too. Then she turned 4.

I hate this attitude too. The “just you wait” bullshit. Apart from a few issues when she was 2/3, being a parent to my daughter has been pretty easy. We have different problems to solve because of her disability but these are nothing to do with her behaviour or anything. I don’t expect teenage to be any different from all the other “just you wait” warnings we had.

Or, maybe because we have bigger problems to solve with her disability, the mundane kids stuff people focus on as problems don’t seem so bad to us.

Snort. OP, I am smug dog owner after two DC.

DearDog slept through at 4 months consistently, toilet trained by 15 weeks, eats everything she is given without complaint, always keen to go for a walk and always pleased to see me!

I had a lovely easy baby, but christ the toddler years and he is 9 now and I swear has hit the teenage years with the strops, that I now miss the toddler years.

As PP have said, you hit your what the fuck moments at different times.

You can only control your reactions not another people, I would suggest saying something like they are sleeping fine and then if you get any comeback from that, just point out if they didn't want to know the answer, they shouldn't have asked the question

my baby was exactly the same until the 4 month sleep regression and now she is clingy and won’t sleep etc. just enjoy it, and as a pp said always add ‘so far’ to your smugness because it can switch overnight 😭😭

I had this and heard dd described as ‘she came in with her slippers on.’ I thought it was a lovely phrase!

I was so smug with my first baby. I must have been such a wanker when I think about it. At least you have some self awareness OP I had none!

And don't worry all - I paid a high price for my smugness when my second came along. She didn't sleep, she had mega tantrums, she didn't sleep, she wouldn't let anyone else hold her...and did I mention she didn't sleep.....

Anyway OP I like the 'he has his moments' answer because that is as much as people want to hear anyway.

I've got 4... my second I used to call my dream baby.he was so easy.
Fast forward 9 years and he had a mental
Health breakdown and wanted to kill himself. Diagnosed autistic and adhd.fast forward another 3 years and yes still out of school and I've had to give up my career to be his carer.
The message from me? Fuck what everyone thinks, and don't be smug. You have no idea what's around the corner.

Enjoy it but be aware it’s all subject to change, sleep regressions, teething.

DS was a dream till 4 months, and hasn’t slept through since.

He’s one tomorrow.

Still a dream kid, just not a sleeper.

“We’ve been lucky so far.”

I had a dream unicorn baby at 3 months, I'd never been as well rested. She's now 8 months and I'm exhausted, she wakes a billion times a night, won't be put down, tries to throw herself off everything, has had significant health problems. Those with tough babies have had linear improvements and we've totally regressed. Sooo don't be too smug

DS was a dream baby until 4 months, then didn't sleep through until 2 (I think)....

I've got dream teens

Go me

Enjoy it while it lasts OP in my experience he can be a dream until 3 months and then 3 months and one day turn into a little horror 😂 and it will be 5 years before you get a full nights sleep

Mine was good till 3.5 months when the regression started so you might not be lucky for too much longer! Hopefully you will be though!

DC1 was a typical baby & toddler & pre teen, re sleep, tantrums etc
DC2 - now 10 - has been an angel child his whole life.
I'm afraid I have embraced the smugness. I don't attribute it to anything we have done, it's just him and it has been very easy to be his parent.
Sorry not sorry.

I think it is fine, and indeed lovely to say 'luckily he/she is fab and so easy'. It's only smug if when struggling parents ask you for advice you go on about your routine/feeding/tips as if you have the secret answer to winning at parenting. Much better to avoid giving advice. But you really don't sound like you would do that. Enjoy your lovely baby!

Just say he’s great we are really lucky. My youngest was a joy as a baby really chilled happy and lovely some babies just are. My 3rd son was and still is hard work, love him dearly but sometimes I want to scream in a padded room.

Ahh be smug whilst you can, I remember being so chuffed when DS slept 8 hours a night and then the 4 month sleep regression hit and he didn't do that again for another 2 years