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Original poster

Help me not be that smug parent?

175 replies

Pigletting · 28/12/2021 18:05

DS is the dream baby. Sleeps well, laughs all the time, doesn't cry unless really gassy which doesn't happen much. You get the drift. Fully aware this is pot luck and if we have another child we might have a real wailer.

But people continually ask things like "is he keeping you up all night" / "I've not heard him cry yet, does he save that for when you're alone" etc. I really don't want to lie. But I am struggling with ideas for responses which don't sound smug. "Luckily he's pretty content" just seems to make (some) people roll their eyes! I get it would be annoying if you were having a hard time right now with your own baby, but I don't actually have any friends/relatives with babies so it's not that. But for whatever reason it really winds people up! I don't want to be annoying!

So any ideas for honest, non-smug answers to these types of questions?

OP posts:
Sweetpea84 · 28/12/2021 20:38

My youngest was the most chilled baby ever were now on the adhd pathway. He’s still very adorable 🥰

Hibye23289 · 28/12/2021 20:39

I think babies are quite easy it's when the teething starts and they get to around 1years old and want to jump on your bed at 4am

Guttedbuyer · 28/12/2021 20:40

Just be honest! All children have different difficult stages and there may well come a time in toddlerhood or primary school age where he is a real nightmare so just enjoy it while you can! Be humble and confess that you know it may not last but why lie to spare others feelings?

I feel a bit like this because my two children really are very good 99% of the time and rarely fight. When people ask me about them I do feel a bit awkward saying no they don’t fight or give me much bother at all really BUT they were both horrific babies and reading some threads on here it’s eye opening to me that not all babies are like that!

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Families
SiobhanSharpe · 28/12/2021 20:41

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon

Meh, be smug. Might be your only chance.

DS was a really easy baby, child, teen and now young adult. I’m still waiting for the catch…

Yeah. Our DS was pretty much the same. Lovely kid, problem-free teen and genuinely thought of as an all-round nice guy. Unfortunately now trapped in an abusive relationship which is so far beyond his ken he is finding it very hard to escape. Classic FOG etc.
mumsiedarlingrevolta · 28/12/2021 20:43

I remember a more experienced friend saying to me when DC were little the following words of wisdom:

"don't worry-the bad stages don't last forever... but then again neither do the good ones..."

sums up parenthood really

Bluntness100 · 28/12/2021 20:47

I don’t think this is that uncommon. Mine went through thr night at 11 weeks, no terrible twos, never had a tantrum, no sleep regression,she’s twenty four now.

Just be honest, there’s nothing to be smug about. Yes some parents have it hard, plenty don’t. On here parenting is put forward as some form of horrific work experience, the reality is it is for some, not for others.

You don’t need to pretend, just be honest,

anon51 · 28/12/2021 20:49

My DS was exactly the same! I used to say "so far so good" be smug, I'm paying for is now tho, he is a testing, inquisitive 6 year old!

ponypinkie · 28/12/2021 20:51

My baby was like this, just be honest. As long as you recognise that you are lucky I don't see why other parents would mind. My baby turned into a fairly chill toddler, now a lovely 4 year old. Has always slept and eaten well. But there have been some challenges. 3 months is nothing really - plenty of time for things to change.

Frazzledbutcalm · 28/12/2021 20:53

My first was the same - absolute dream, textbook good happy healthy baby, same as a toddler, and forever basically. I honestly (stupidly, naively) believed it was down to my good parenting, good boundaries/discipline routines. I was never smug/gloaty about it - I just believed inside it was because I was doing a great/the best job.
Then dc2 came along - my god what a shock to my system! She was the polar opposite! From 2 weeks old she was an absolute nightmare! She quickly made me realise that my success with dc1 was NOT down to my excellent parenting, but in fact, his easy going nature Grin

Both have continued to be their own, original, very different personalities Grin

EllieSattler · 28/12/2021 20:55

Smug is claiming its down to your awesome parenting skills. It isn't at all smug to count your blessings. I say this as the parent of a committed hard-core non sleeper - I never minded people saying their babies slept well, I just fucking hated being told I was doing something wrong with mine!

FizzingGently · 28/12/2021 20:56

Parenting is a long game.
Cherish the fact that it’s going well at the moment and hopefully that will be the story for a long time to come.
My DC are all in their early 20s and are absolutely delightful, but my goodness there have been some challenges along the way.
Sometimes it’s good parenting, sometimes it’s luck.

LostForIdeas · 28/12/2021 20:56

How is it smug to acknowledge that SO FAR your baby has been easy?

I mean that’s the truth just now. It might change or it might not. Dc1 was an easy baby, an easy child and an easy teenager.
But it doesn’t mean that things won’t change, that your child being easy is a reflection on your parenting OR on the parenting of the person on the other side that might nit be finding it easy.

As for lying ‘he has his moments etc….’ Why??

CaddieDawg · 28/12/2021 20:58

He has his moments/so far/ he's been ok so far but waiting for the real terror to hit etc....

My DD was very easy at first and I remember pondering the same.... until the 4m sleep regression and it all went downhill until recently (she's now 2) in terms of sleep/constant illness etc.

TheDrrWillSeeYouNow · 28/12/2021 21:01

I don't think it's smug to say that so far he seems pretty content. Enjoy him, he sounds lovely!

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 28/12/2021 21:01

My eldest was so easy that we nicknamed him 'Baby for Dummies'. He would just lie in his cot or bouncy chair cooing and completely content, albeit sleeping rarely and always feeding like a starvation victim. DS2, however, while technically a better sleeper, was frankly a nightmare, screaming vengeance and damnation on the universe at unexpected moments and for utterly random reasons...

FusionChefGeoff · 28/12/2021 21:02

He's great - at the moment - no doubt I'll be letting my payback soon though

ApolloandDaphne · 28/12/2021 21:05

Our DD1 was a real dream. No issues and a great sleeper. We had DD2 quite quickly after DD1 and we were Shock Shock after she was born. If she had been born first we may have only had one!

TheVolturi · 28/12/2021 21:06

Absolutely lap it up! Sing it from the bloody rooftops! I've had three dc, none were like yours, they were all tiny satans.

Change123today · 28/12/2021 21:06

My first was so hard…my second a dream I was more than happy to share that she was an easy baby!!!
Don’t overthink it just be smug :) not saying it will but it can change! My easy baby was a whirlwind toddler (but I’d take that after she was such an easy baby compared to my first)

VladmirsPoutine · 28/12/2021 21:14

You struck it lucky and you should be smug to your hearts content. The early months can be some of the most emotionally, mentally and physically challenging for many mothers - some of whom never quite recover. Enjoy your wonderful luck! Wine

cleocleo81 · 28/12/2021 21:17

I wouldn't speak too early. Ds was an absolute dream baby, then he hit 2 and has been very difficult since.

Original poster
Pigletting · 28/12/2021 21:38

@TheVolturi

Absolutely lap it up! Sing it from the bloody rooftops! I've had three dc, none were like yours, they were all tiny satans.
Grin amazing image!
OP posts:
Santahatesbraisedcabbage · 28/12/2021 21:40

Just say he is from Argos and you take his batteries out every night and smile..
Beware dc2 may be Damien..

Original poster
Pigletting · 28/12/2021 21:41

Thank you everyone 😊
I do definitely know it may not last! But at the moment he is so sweet. Will secretly enjoy it whilst vaguely muttering some of the more non-committal suggestions on this thread. Thank you!

OP posts:
Queenoftheashes · 28/12/2021 21:46

I vote honesty too. I haven’t got a baby yet and I really prefer hearing about easy ones so I can cling on to my small hope that I’ll get something similar