Do you enjoy staying at peoples houses?

[Cleopatra2022]

Or having people to stay at yours?
Personally, I dislike both! If I have to stay at someone’s house I can’t stay more than 2 nights max. I very rarely invite anyone to stay at ours and if I do it’s for no longer than 3 nights.
MIL on the other hand will stay with us for a week at a time. It drives me crazy and always causes rows with DH and I. It’s just too long and feels very intrusive. Because of how long the visits are I end up making excuses for why she can’t come in order to put off her visit for as long as possible.
She doesn’t seem to have noticed that we are always putting her off with the flimsiest excuses. DH won’t talk to her straight and I tried once but was ignored.
I’m just so confused as to why she’d want to stay so long anyway? Why isn’t she desperate to get home to her own house and bed like I would be?!

So am I unusual in feeling this way?

I am EXACTLY the same! You’re not alone!

I also dislike both. 1 night maximum. I can’t relax in either situation so it really tires me out.

No, not at all.

I’m no help as I’m just like you, interested to hear from people who actually enjoy it!

I don't think you are unusual. Unless it's a mansion house with lots of wings and bedrooms so I could hide I'd rather be at home or in a hotel.

Depends on toilet/bathroom situation. Nightmare of only one loo.

Pre-pandemic I could tolerate it, but now I absolutely hate both having people to stay over night and staying at other people's houses over night. Nothing to do with infection, I've just used to doing exactly what I want, when I want, and not having to bother about anyone else and it's great!

@Skinnytailedsquirrel

I don't think you are unusual. Unless it's a mansion house with lots of wings and bedrooms so I could hide I'd rather be at home or in a hotel.

My favourite part of visiting someone is the bit where we go back to our hotel at the end of the night 😂

I hate it too.

I hate both!

Does she live alone?

I dislike both. It makes me feel like I have to be constantly on my best behaviour and I can’t relax, it’s exhausting. If I’m the host I have to stay on top of politely offering tea and snacks and clearing away, and if I’m the guest I have to wait to be offered and can’t just grab something if I’m hungry or thirsty. You can’t just watch what you want on the telly or have a nap if you’re tired, and you spend most of the time holding in a fart. Very unpleasant, I’d rather be at home alone.

I love a night away with friends. One night. That’s it.

Having visitors is ok. I feel stressed before they come but actually it often does spur me to do jobs/cleaning that I wouldn’t do otherwise so overall it’s ok. A week is too long tho.

Completely agree. I like my own space and much prefer meeting people, even close family elsewhere so I can go home and hibernate!

No, I don’t. As a child I preferred to go home in a taxi at 2am after a big celebration rather then stayed at my aunt’s. I like people a lot but desperate to come back to my own space at the end of the day. I’m really struggling atm because DH is working from home since March 2020 and DD has spent at home quite a big chunk of time. I hate sharing bathrooms, bedrooms (except with DH 🙂) I don’t like eating with other people all the time and don’t like when someone cooking for me. I think it’s coming from my desire to be 100% in control and my lack of assertiveness - I’m not good at communicating my boundaries so prefer to have them physically established if it makes sense.

@Howshouldibehave

I hate both!

Does she live alone?

No she doesn’t but does visit alone. It’s been a perk of the pandemic not having overnight visitors. Even when we were allowed we put her off but all good things come to an end. She’s not actually that bad and if she stayed for shorter periods it would be fine. It just starts to get very annoying by the 4th day and everything she says or does irritates. I usually end up in a bad mood which I’m bad at hiding but she still wants to come again 😬

@greenlynx I understand what you mean and I’m the same. I end up passively saying nothing and silently seething and then it comes out in me being in a bad mood and causing an atmosphere.
I think every time she has stayed it’s ended in an argument between DH and I in front of her, or me being sullen and not speaking as I’m trying not to explode with my desire to scream “get the fuck out of my house!”.

No I hate it, always have. Both ways. I even hate staying in hotels. On holiday I'd prefer a tent! I like my privacy and you have none when people are staying over or if you stay elsewhere.

Not at all.
Happens very rarely thankfully. When visiting people miles away we prefer to stay in the nearby premier inn.

In my teens and twenties however I used to sleep on people’s floors all the time. Must be a sign of getting old. Like my own familiar creature comforts and don’t like imposing on others.

You’re U to let your mood show like that.

Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.

Benjamin Franklin

I like staying in people’s houses where they have big beds and nice guest rooms

Unfortunately people often put a skanky old sofa bed in the spare room which is piled high with old dvds and laundry that it’s not very welcoming to stay

How far away does she live?

@RedBonnet

Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.

Benjamin Franklin

DH has quoted that to her before but she didn’t take the hint.

@Dozer

How far away does she live?

A 2 hour train ride away.

I don’t mind hosting (possibly because my house is big enough to have a second sitting room, spare bedroom and guest bathroom), but I detest staying overnight anywhere except very nice hotels, including with friends or family whose country houses are actually done up to resemble boutique hotels.

Moving to the country is a really good way to lose your friends. I have very few friends I’ve visited overnight twice or more, and most live too far away for a day trip.