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Original poster

Do you enjoy staying at peoples houses?

157 replies

Cleopatra2022 · 28/12/2021 13:08

Or having people to stay at yours?
Personally, I dislike both! If I have to stay at someone’s house I can’t stay more than 2 nights max. I very rarely invite anyone to stay at ours and if I do it’s for no longer than 3 nights.
MIL on the other hand will stay with us for a week at a time. It drives me crazy and always causes rows with DH and I. It’s just too long and feels very intrusive. Because of how long the visits are I end up making excuses for why she can’t come in order to put off her visit for as long as possible.
She doesn’t seem to have noticed that we are always putting her off with the flimsiest excuses. DH won’t talk to her straight and I tried once but was ignored.
I’m just so confused as to why she’d want to stay so long anyway? Why isn’t she desperate to get home to her own house and bed like I would be?!

So am I unusual in feeling this way?

OP posts:
foreverlove · 28/12/2021 19:12

My DM always expects me to stay whenever I visit my hometown, which is around 3 hours away, and always acts offended when I tell her I would prefer to stay at a PI as need space and privacy.

I realise I sound ungrateful but her spare bed is a rickety old single and the house is small, cramped and hot. Nowhere comfortable to sit and no Privacy. I really don't like staying over and would much rather go to a PI like I used to do, but since my DB moved out she's lonely and doesn't understand my need for space Sad

Snow1n · 28/12/2021 19:16

You've missed my point - maybe there are more non MN people that feel the same but dont voice it because they get made to feel they are unusual for wanting and enjoying their own space, but you dont know about them because they dont feel brave enough to say it out loud

BoredZelda · 28/12/2021 19:28

I love having people to stay. I hate staying at people’s houses, except my mum or sister’s.

Uniforn · 28/12/2021 19:30

I used to not mind it at all, mainly I suppose as usually I would stay at someone's house as we were doing something fun or whatever. Now though I hate it! If people stay at mine I feel a weird sense of having to host and making sure everything is fine even though my friends wouldn't mind or be expecting 5* service. If I'm somewhere else I can't fully relax and always seem to be willing it to be time to come home.

Original poster
Cleopatra2022 · 28/12/2021 19:31

@Animood

Why are you hinting? Be direct ffs!

"MIL, we'd love for you to stay Friday night and Saturday night. It would be best for us if you could leave after breakfast on Sunday as we have plans. Hope that's ok!"

Job done.

If you read my posts you’d see I have tried and been ignored.
OP posts:
Original poster
Cleopatra2022 · 28/12/2021 19:35

And in any case @Animood that wouldn’t work as my mil would just say no it’s fine I will just stay at your house and wait for you. This is a woman who stays for a week when we are both working and have busy lives, and who persists in asking to visit despite constantly being put off. Her skin is pretty thick!
She has been asked directly by me not to come previously when it was bad timing and she ignored me and came anyway. DH told her she couldn’t visit another time and she then told me she was thinking of booking anyway as a “surprise”. She’s not someone with much of a clue!

OP posts:
tigger1001 · 28/12/2021 19:38

I hate both! To be honest though we don't have people staying overnight. We are a house of 4 in a 2 bed house so simply no room. It's never been an issue though as family live close by.

Hate the thought of staying over at someone's house too and rarely do it. Need my own bed at the end of the night.

Gretaburley · 28/12/2021 19:49

One of the reasons I won’t do b&b is I hate staying in other peoples homes.
Hotel anonymity suits me best.

I don’t mind my family or close friends staying with us.

Animood · 28/12/2021 20:02

@Cleopatra2022

And in any case *@Animood* that wouldn’t work as my mil would just say no it’s fine I will just stay at your house and wait for you. This is a woman who stays for a week when we are both working and have busy lives, and who persists in asking to visit despite constantly being put off. Her skin is pretty thick! She has been asked directly by me not to come previously when it was bad timing and she ignored me and came anyway. DH told her she couldn’t visit another time and she then told me she was thinking of booking anyway as a “surprise”. She’s not someone with much of a clue!
My goodness stand up for yourself woman!

Why are you in any way being polite to a woman who causes you to have stress and rows?

"No, MIL you can't stay. Sorry it's not convenient." Repeat. "No sorry that's not going to work for us. Please come at 3pm Friday and leave 9am Sunday."

Sunday morning comes "OK MIL it's been lovely to see you. We'll take your bags to the car now so that you can leave."

Then more blunt "you need to leave now I'm afraid. No. You really must leave now as we are busy. No you can't stay that's not going to work for us. I'll go and get your bags."

MrBoldwood · 28/12/2021 20:03

Hate it with a passion.

maa32 · 28/12/2021 20:06

I hate it and won't do it, would rather book a hotel

thefatpotato · 28/12/2021 20:35

Generally similar. But we tend to stay with my Mum for 3 to 4 weeks at a time as she is in Australia and has the space/we only see her every 12 months (if we're lucky!). She came to stay with us just before Covid and stayed for just over 2 weeks, that felt like a good amount of time.

User48751490 · 28/12/2021 20:39

Hate both.

MrFlippersPancake · 28/12/2021 21:22

God, absolutely not. It's my worst nightmare Grin

Wecando · 28/12/2021 21:25

Never.

Both are revolting.

Wecando · 28/12/2021 21:25

@Gretaburley

One of the reasons I won’t do b&b is I hate staying in other peoples homes. Hotel anonymity suits me best.

I don’t mind my family or close friends staying with us.

Me too

Wecando · 28/12/2021 21:26

Sorry- meant I won't stay in a B and B.

I also don't have family or friends stay over .

Miserable bitch that I am 😆

cantgetmyheadroundit · 28/12/2021 21:27

I don't even stay at my mums when I go to visit, I stay in a hotel.
She fusses around me so much that it drives me mad.
I hate staying away from my own bed for any reason.

Daisiesandsweetpeas · 28/12/2021 21:32

Nooooo! I absolutely detest staying at other people's houses, even my parents. I love my own surroundings and home comforts.
The only exception in this is when I first met DH and used to stay at his place. That's how I knew he was the one for me Grin

Same goes for people staying over our house - they don't 😆

QueenofLouisiana · 28/12/2021 21:35

My mum- happy to stay a couple of nights. PIL- one night (dog would be in kennels so the cost starts mounting up, also it’s like sleeping in a sauna).
My dad- we stay for a few weeks with a break elsewhere in the middle. He lives on the other side of the world though.

HearMeSnore · 28/12/2021 21:38

Apart from my parents house, I hate staying at other people's houses. I'll only do it for one night if we have to travel somewhere for a special occasion, and only if a hotel isn't a practical option.

I'm a bit more relaxed about house guests staying with us. Again, if it's my parents my tolerance is much greater but even then, anything longer than a week would be a push.

Chesneyhawkes1 · 28/12/2021 22:26

I hate both!

Mum090521 · 28/12/2021 22:34

Hate both.

MrsPsmalls · 28/12/2021 22:46

Hate it and would only do it in the direst emergency such that I cannot even imagine an emergency so dire

Kite22 · 28/12/2021 23:07

I wonder if this is influenced by your childhood?

Growing up, we were a family of 6 and my cousins were a family of 6, In those days (pre motorway / cars slower etc) it was a 4 hour journey between us, so we would go and stay for a couple of days, or they would come to us for a couple of days. We both had 3 bed ordinary sized houses. I have really fond memories of those times with everyone mucking in and people either top and tailing or sleeping on the floor etc. It would never occur to me to go and visit someone but not stay with them, or to have someone visit us but say they couldn't stay. However, the expectation is everyone would muck in and there is no-one being waited on. IF someone is close enough to me to either stay in my home, or for me to stay in theirs, then I would expect them to be comfortable making a brew or wielding a tea towel.