Do you enjoy staying at peoples houses?

[Cleopatra2022]

Or having people to stay at yours?
Personally, I dislike both! If I have to stay at someone’s house I can’t stay more than 2 nights max. I very rarely invite anyone to stay at ours and if I do it’s for no longer than 3 nights.
MIL on the other hand will stay with us for a week at a time. It drives me crazy and always causes rows with DH and I. It’s just too long and feels very intrusive. Because of how long the visits are I end up making excuses for why she can’t come in order to put off her visit for as long as possible.
She doesn’t seem to have noticed that we are always putting her off with the flimsiest excuses. DH won’t talk to her straight and I tried once but was ignored.
I’m just so confused as to why she’d want to stay so long anyway? Why isn’t she desperate to get home to her own house and bed like I would be?!

So am I unusual in feeling this way?

I have a special hatred for being back later than 5pm on a Sunday. I find that if you don't get back by then, you end up having shite for dinner, not sorting yourself for the week ahead, and I just can't switch off until I'm settled into the house.

Getting back at 5 vs 6pm somehow seems to be the difference between "still got time in my own house" vs the "well, it's practically bedtime now" mindset.

For special occasions, plans Sunday evening, fine, whatever, I'll suck it up. But my husband ALWAYS wants to drag out visits to the in laws forty minutes away past 5, even if we've been there the night.

No I don't.

No

I don’t mind people staying here for a night or two but hate staying at anyone else’s - the one exception was my mum’s, but essentially that was just going home-home.

Can’t you say to MIL, “Are you staying for two nights or three? I just need to know for the meal planning, plus we’ve been invited to X’s house on Monday for dinner” (or whatever). That’s what I do to firmly manage expectations.

Depends who. I love to stay at my mum and dad's (home, my old bedroom), it's pretty good at my on laws, but everywhere else is usually either a bit skanky or a bit awkward. I think I actually prefer an airbed in a spare room to a never used guest bedroom.
At my house, I prefer no guests honestly, except kids who don't bother me.

Growing up, some of my happiest memories are of weekends spent with cousins or grandparents or family friends. Their houses or ours or on holiday together.

And now as an adult I love weekends away and weekend visitors. But only with families who in similar ways to us - informal chaos really. So anyone can make a drink any time just bake one for me too. If I’m hosting I’ll cook but yes great if you can chop the onions and can someone keep the toddler away from the oven please. Arrive Friday evening late, shovel children into beds or sleeping bags or whatever, sit down with adults, catch up. Wake at child o’clock and pile in for breakfast, have plans for the day, nice evening meal, shovel children into bed via communal baths (assuming plans have involved cold muddy walks and children are preschool age when sharing a bath is a treat), adults sit, chat, catch up, silly board game potentially. Sleep again then depending on distances off in the morning or after lunch.

Generally up for that kind of weekend either here or elsewhere 1ce a month or so.

But the kind of weekend which involves either guests sitting awkwardly waiting to be served their next allotted meal and refusing a hot drink at 10.30 because they had breakfast at 9 and it’ll be 11ses soon (will it? Crap, what can I put out?), or where I’m expected to sit on a slippery sofa in the drawing room and shooed out of the kitchen then given a tiny cup of coffee at carefully timed intervals whilst making sure the children don’t touch anything at all, no thank you!

I find the idea of visiting family, but staying in a hotel bizarre. Unless living a studio apartment where it’s extremely inconvenient or having a newborn or some other plausible reason I would find it rude not to stay/ invite to stay.