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Original poster

My husband is thinking about joining the Masons and I am horrified

280 replies

SovietTrumpet · 20/12/2021 18:35

I hate boys’ clubs and silly rituals etc and doing each other favours. He thinks it will help him at work. Arguments please against and in favour…

OP posts:
NiceTwin · 20/12/2021 18:38

What does he do for a job?

DillonPanthersTexas · 20/12/2021 18:39

They make nice jam jars though.

GiltEdges · 20/12/2021 18:40

Why is it silly? What would you think if your husband made similar comments about the Women's Institute?

KittenCatcher · 20/12/2021 18:41

Why are you furious, they do a lot of charity work. How will it help him at work.

NiceTwin · 20/12/2021 18:41

I used to work the bar at the Masonic lodge, they were very generous with their tips.

Octavi · 20/12/2021 18:41

Some of dh's relatives were members for decades. My concern would be how much of our joint finances would be given away.

reallyworriedjobhunter · 20/12/2021 18:42

Isn't the WI quite different to the Masons? Not as much pretend mystic ritual?

TulipsGarden · 20/12/2021 18:45

I would also be horrified. My FIL was a Mason. They're misogynistic, racist fools who are stuck in the 1970s and exert far too much pressure on public life.

BHX3000 · 20/12/2021 18:46

How much money will he be giving away?

I’m not a fan of the masons as they funded my friends’ undergraduate and postgraduate degrees, which in turn meant she didn’t do anything for 6 years straight but complain about how she had to write her own assignments Grin Granted, this is not the masons’ fault, only my friend here to blame… but it made me wonder how did they even believe her story year after year, and kept giving her money simply because her great uncle had been a mason… I wouldn’t want to join an organisation where money is given away to causes like this (and I do appreciate most of the charity work they do is actually valuable!).

RJnomore1 · 20/12/2021 18:46

Oh dear

He’s probably got a point though, IF he gets in I can imagine it’s only good for business.

rosie1959 · 20/12/2021 18:47

I can’t understand why you are horrified Masons do a lot of charity worK.
They have a strong ethos of looking after their own It can help in all sorts of situations you would never even think of especially if you are in business
I have a family member who is in the Masons and has certainly not done them any harm in fact quite a lot of good
And yes they will recognise another Mason by a handshake
There are also female lodges so it’s not all men

Santahatesbraisedcabbage · 20/12/2021 18:48

Is it them who wear stupid clothes but happily feel like a prick as long as they get to hear secrets?
*Billy Connolly reckons anyway!!

WoodburnersRUs · 20/12/2021 18:48

They could genuinely help him at work. Nothing to be horrified about. They’re fine and it’s up to him isn’t it? Not like he’s joining the Branch Davidians.

AppleKatie · 20/12/2021 18:49

My friends husband joined. I must say he went down in my estimation tbh. I can’t pinpoint why exactly but the whole thing made me uncomfortable.

She said it was to do with getting on in his career. No idea if he still goes or not but a few years down the track he hasn’t been promoted and it never gets mentioned.

StormBaby · 20/12/2021 18:49

I’ve never met one who wasn’t an egotistical insufferable bore

TitoMojito · 20/12/2021 18:50

I couldn't be with someone in the Masons, quite frankly. I have family ties and I just think they are awful.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 20/12/2021 18:50

Shows how ignorant you are. I am lady Mason and there is so much more to it than that.
Bet you didn't know we existed either.
Are you always so controlling?

QueenofLouisiana · 20/12/2021 18:52

My grandmother was looked after very well in a care home run by the masons. Step-father is a (very inactive) member, so she was given a place. It allowed her a new lease of life for a few years and it allowed her relief from worrying about fees as it was far less expensive than other options. It wasn’t posh in any way, but had excellent care, a good level of activities and encouraged families to stay for lunch etc.
I am very grateful that she had this peace of mind in her final years.

2bazookas · 20/12/2021 18:52

@GiltEdges

Why is it silly? What would you think if your husband made similar comments about the Women's Institute?
There's no secrecy or concealment about the WI, and membership of it does nothing to enhance your career.
MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 20/12/2021 18:53

@GiltEdges

Why is it silly? What would you think if your husband made similar comments about the Women's Institute?
I haven't joined the WI, but I'm not aware that they make new members go through elaborate oaths of loyalty, to be kept on pain of death, or that they are highly influential within the British Establishment. Happy to be corrected though.
BarryTheKestrel · 20/12/2021 18:53

I think it depends on the lodge to be honest. The lodge my grandad is part of are incredibly charitable and also have dragged the boys club out of the racist, homophobic, misogynistic ways, they are truly a lovely bunch, I say this as someone who in normal times has multiple interactions with members a year.

However, our local lodge is hideous, a lot of younger members but absolutely disgusting bunch of men. Their views and the way they conduct themselves are vile.

For my grandad, he has been a member since he was in his 20s and he is now almost 80, it's changed a lot over the years but it has helped him, he has helped others and the support system and lifelong friends he has is truly invaluable to him.

It may seem stupid but the ritual stuff is small overall.

Taoneusa · 20/12/2021 18:53

Misogyny, racism, classism, elitism. A secret club to provide a leg up for bigots.

hugoagogo · 20/12/2021 18:54

@StormBaby

I’ve never met one who wasn’t an egotistical insufferable bore
This^ They demand a lot of time and reinforce sexist roles. I trust dh to have enough sense not to consider it, thankfully.
BHX3000 · 20/12/2021 18:55

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

Shows how ignorant you are. I am lady Mason and there is so much more to it than that. Bet you didn't know we existed either. Are you always so controlling?
Are you always this rude and superior? What did OP say or do that makes her controlling?
ufucoffee · 20/12/2021 18:56

Surely it's up to him if he joins. In my experience it's just a lot of daft men who get together and drink and occasionally do things for charity. They don't have the influence in society they once had