My husband is thinking about joining the Masons and I am horrified

[SovietTrumpet]

I hate boys’ clubs and silly rituals etc and doing each other favours. He thinks it will help him at work. Arguments please against and in favour…

My grandfather was quite high up in the masons, my uncle senior in his lodge.

I would judge. Misogynistic, racist and homophobic. Charitable to those they deem deserving, with expectations or conditions attached.

Ladies night makes me want to poke my eyes out.

Jobs for the boys. But only the right boys and in a way that benefits other masons.

So depends on your ethics, sense of fair play and equality really.

@GiltEdges

Why is it silly? What would you think if your husband made similar comments about the Women's Institute?

When the Women’s Institute starts doing arcane secret rituals and nepotism?

OP, tell him your vagina clamps shut at the thought of him chanting his initiation with one trouser leg rolled up, watched solemnly by Nigel and Bernard from the local Chamber of Commerce.

If you want to 'split the difference' OP, he could try the Buffaloes.

Same sort of aims but not so snobby.

My late dad was a Mason. He was a kind, decent, generous man.

My father was one years ago. I went to a Ladies Evening with him, i found it very interesting with the rituals and everyone dressed up.
Certainly they do a lot of fundraising and charity work.
They also have care homes and there was a Royal Masonic Hospital at Ravenscourt Park (?) in London where I could have gone to do my nurse training.

My uncle is in the masons, have been for years. He does huge amounts of charity work and goes for the odd curry night. I really wouldn't be too concerned.

Join for the charity work they do. Not for “getting ahead” that’s crap

You should be concerned, I have a friend who works in the police and there are real issues in our local area with enquiries and problems being shelved if the offending officer is a Mason, they close ranks in the police anyway and it's doubly worse if they are all Masons, she is fighting the good fight against this but it makes her very unpopular.

@Sally872

If thus organisation can help him at work then I am appalled. I naively thought those days were long gone.

The masons would give each other work and promotions based on the fact they were masons rather than have a fair process. Best person often overlooked. That aspect of it is not OK.

Charity, handshakes and outfits are their own business.

DH is always grumbling about blokes at work getting promoted because they're masons. I only know one but he's definitely boring, misogynistic and racist. Always tries to slap my arse when he sees me too. So my experience is 100% awful.

my parents divorced when i was 12 , it was a fairly short quick divorce , they were sick of each other and my mum and i moved to another county so i didnt really keep in touch with my dad , but he was a mason and there was nothing strange or odd about him , and he wasnt out to his meetings 3 or 4 nights a week either , he did not discuss it with us as they tend to keep it private or at least they did do ,
i remember being fascinated by the fact that they could recognise each other by the handshake and wondering if it was true , my mum swore it was , cant see why anyone would be offended by them to be honest and as they are a secret socitey so to speak how does anyone know that they are raciest , misogenic and all the above nonsense being spouted

Oh and if OPs husband fancies doing some charity work, there are a lot of routes he could take. Really really doesn't have to become a mason.

Can't believe nobody has posted it yet:

I'm all in favour of boys' clubs (and girls' clubs: I'm a member of one). They do no harm at all, and there is a lot to be said for something that doesn't have to involve the opposite sex. I am all in favour of men, but still like being a member of a ladies' club which they can't infiltrate. So much mean reverse snobbery on here.

Does he not think he can succeed in his career anyway? That’s sad

You can be Marlene to his Boycey.

In our local (pretty small) lodge there are 3 Sikhs (I only know this because they did the presentation of a nominated a charity which was the main beneficiary two years ago) and a real mix of ethnicity judging from last nights carol service.

Personally I can't see harm in it.

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

Shows how ignorant you are. I am lady Mason and there is so much more to it than that. Bet you didn't know we existed either. Are you always so controlling?

What a wonderful ambassador for the masons!

@Jessica60

Full of police officers. Promote each other and prevent the sexist ones getting sacked from force. Makes it impossible for women to make complaints. Boys club.

My dad was the most senior non Mason in the Met during the 1970s, the time of notorious police corruption. Plenty of members of the judiciary were also members, as were crooks. He was not a fan and felt there was scope for conflict of interest. (Understatement.)

Sorry to hear that. My dad talks of how unfair it was. And I have always associated it with a long time ago. Really disappointing.

My post was in reply to @stormbaby

I'll probably name change again soon so wtf but my father is a mason and so was my uncle. When my cousin's parents were both dead by the time he was 12, the masons paid his school fees. I don't know if they're as sinister as they're painted! Not that my Dad tells us anything. He is a bit Harry Potter secretive about it all.

I couldn't be with someone who'd join a club because it might give him unearned advantages. I'm surprised people are proudly admitting to that.

The ones I know are definitely sexist. I am uncomfortable with serving police officers being Masons because it is a secret network.

My stepfather is a Mason and meets the criteria of misogynist bigot although I'm sure they don't all fit that, the Duke of Ke t for example. He will often say that the masons have their roots in Christianity and the Crusades, etc, and are good and Godly people. DH has been asked to join various lodges and has always said no because his brain promoted his career and he was happy enough worshipping God and being part of a local church community without the need for a secret society.

I confess I have little experience of the Masons but reading this thread alone I am surprised so few have a problem with a secretive club mainly full of white, male, semi privileged members who grant favours to those who are connected with them.