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My husband is thinking about joining the Masons and I am horrified

280 replies

SovietTrumpet · 20/12/2021 18:35

I hate boys’ clubs and silly rituals etc and doing each other favours. He thinks it will help him at work. Arguments please against and in favour…

OP posts:
AssemblySquare · 20/12/2021 19:56

All these posts shouting about the amazing charitable works blah blah blah….
The thing I can’t get past is the secrecy and exclusivity - if it’s such a great organisation why not be open and share the love?!
I have several family members in the Masons and they have yet to give me an answer to my question.

Workyticket · 20/12/2021 19:57

My dad was a Mason - he worked in a factory as a machinist. It definitely didn't help his career!

I used to wait on at some of their meetings - it was just a load of men having a drink and a chat. The big doors were shut after the meal though so can't speak for what went on then.

It did help with my Dad's confidence and he eventually went through The Chair.

I can't pretend to know the ins and outs but it seemed harmless enough

Bearyhumcrack · 20/12/2021 19:57

Any bloke who feels he needs more of an advantage in life should have a good hard think about things. All the ones I've met have been mediocre at their jobs with a ridiculous sense of self entitlement. I would steer well clear!

tilder · 20/12/2021 19:59

[quote DoncasterHombre]Can't believe nobody has posted it yet:

[/quote] Stonecutters! Classic episode.

FWIW my grandfather was and my uncle is a wonderful man. Kind, generous, loving. Worked hard, gave back to the community.

Doesn't change my opinion about their club though. The post by Needmoresleep is quite telling as well.

Like most things. Am sure different branches are different, they have great members and not so great members. Reputations are earned however, not given.

Clarabella77 · 20/12/2021 20:00

@AssemblySquare

Exactly and how often have we heard "but they do great charity work" as a defence for some dodgy behaviour.

CustardCreamsAndMintTea · 20/12/2021 20:02

@Shehasadiamondinthesky "I'm a lady Mason" GrinGrinGrin

You could have represented your side well, shown us all what an inspiration you are, educated us. But no, you sound just like I imagine Masons and Lady Masons to sound Wink

ClaudiaJ1 · 20/12/2021 20:02

You sound very narrow-minded and ignorant. The Freemasons are usually the MOST respected people in the community. They exist mainly for charity, they do a lot for the community. I would be proud if my husband wanted to join them. Whatever is the matter with you??

Moolia · 20/12/2021 20:03

Why would anyone think that corruption and nepotism is a good thing to be part of?

ClaudiaJ1 · 20/12/2021 20:04

Though I hasten to add that if he is joining purely for image, he will be weeded out pretty quick by them. You join to help others, you don't join for an 'advantage'.

Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername · 20/12/2021 20:04

My father and grandfather were both Grand Masters in their respective lodges, and neither were as PPs have judged. I am also a Mason and agree with the fellow Mason who posted. Ooh look...old girls sticking together...must make us racist misogynistic arseholes

2irishmums2be · 20/12/2021 20:04

I've never heard of the masons? Is it an English thing?

FAQs · 20/12/2021 20:05

Woman Freemasons were part of the original suffragettes I seem to remember. I think it formed part of their famous uniforms. Feel free to correct me. I'm sure they have been around for over a 100 years?

girlmom21 · 20/12/2021 20:06

@ClaudiaJ1

You sound very narrow-minded and ignorant. The Freemasons are usually the MOST respected people in the community. They exist mainly for charity, they do a lot for the community. I would be proud if my husband wanted to join them. Whatever is the matter with you??
Am I right in thinking you're in Australia or New Zealand? I might be mis-remembering but I have a feeling your experiences may be different to those of us in the U.K. if so.
SW1amp · 20/12/2021 20:09

@ClaudiaJ1

You sound very narrow-minded and ignorant. The Freemasons are usually the MOST respected people in the community. They exist mainly for charity, they do a lot for the community. I would be proud if my husband wanted to join them. Whatever is the matter with you??
What sort of community do you live in where they are ‘the most respected’? I fear for you!

Every community I’ve lived, they’ve been that weird bunch of middle aged men with high opinions of themselves and the nominal charity work they do. There hasn’t been much respect, just a lot of cringe

My retired policeman grandfather was very active in the masons and all I can remember is how hilariously pompous and self-important they all were, let alone the excruciating ’ladies nights’ at the lodge, where they demonstrated their absolute lack of social skills on top of everything else

lottiegarbanzo · 20/12/2021 20:09

I'd like to know what profession he's in, where he thinks his career will be assisted by being a mason. So that the rest of us can avoid it, or raise questions with HR, as appropriate.

pantherrose · 20/12/2021 20:10

Freemasonry is wholly incompatible with Christianity. It is a cult, with occult leanings, rituals and where members are encouraged to pervert the course of justice if it a fellow mason is in trouble and it is within their means to do so. This is the antithesis of Christ’s teaching.

YellowandGreenToBeSeen · 20/12/2021 20:10

@chaosrabbitland

my parents divorced when i was 12 , it was a fairly short quick divorce , they were sick of each other and my mum and i moved to another county so i didnt really keep in touch with my dad , but he was a mason and there was nothing strange or odd about him , and he wasnt out to his meetings 3 or 4 nights a week either , he did not discuss it with us as they tend to keep it private or at least they did do , i remember being fascinated by the fact that they could recognise each other by the handshake and wondering if it was true , my mum swore it was , cant see why anyone would be offended by them to be honest and as they are a secret socitey so to speak how does anyone know that they are raciest , misogenic and all the above nonsense being spouted
Well, it’s anecdata but I knew the racist* misogynists were racist misogynists before I knew they were Masons. They offended me on so many levels.

*they were not, however. the ‘raciest’ men I’d met.

girlmom21 · 20/12/2021 20:11

Can I just say as well, they don't all do loads charity work.
IME it's just taking some Easter eggs to the local hospital for the kids and sometimes selection boxes at Xmas.

That's not to say many don't do lots of charity work, of course.

ClaudiaJ1 · 20/12/2021 20:11

@girlmom21 Yes, Australia.

Crazykatie · 20/12/2021 20:11

It certainly was an old boys club and there were plenty of dodgy deeds done for sure, there is less of that now, much more charitable work.

The business advantage is networking, getting to know contacts on a social level, most don’t make it public in the way you would if you were in Rotary Club. My partner was invited, he declined because it wasn’t his scene, it wouldn’t have been mine either, others I know who were masons certainly did not benefit in business terms.

ClaudiaJ1 · 20/12/2021 20:13

The amount of prejudice and ignorance on this thread is very sad. I guess people fear what they don't know or understand.

rwalker · 20/12/2021 20:14

Always puzzles me and how people recon it secretive yet they know so much about it.

genrally tends to be nasty assumption rather than fact in any organisation you get good and bad .

Musmerian · 20/12/2021 20:14

@Taoneusa

Misogyny, racism, classism, elitism. A secret club to provide a leg up for bigots.
This. In spades.
HarrisMcCoo · 20/12/2021 20:14

@rosie1959

I can’t understand why you are horrified Masons do a lot of charity worK. They have a strong ethos of looking after their own It can help in all sorts of situations you would never even think of especially if you are in business I have a family member who is in the Masons and has certainly not done them any harm in fact quite a lot of good And yes they will recognise another Mason by a handshake There are also female lodges so it’s not all men
My maternal grandmother was a member of the Star.
DaisyNGO · 20/12/2021 20:14

I know a lady mason
She wasn't someone I knew well until my mum fell ill, at which point she offered practical help like lifts to hospital. She did more to help than my friends did.

If I had money, I might consider joining. She seems to have a philosophy of helping everyone. I don't know where she gets the time but she does seem to be mad busy. Every evening is a charity do or practical help for people.

Her children are grown though. I don't know when she joined. She was just a vague work contact till she suddenly offered help to me when I really needed it.