Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

My husband is thinking about joining the Masons and I am horrified

280 replies

SovietTrumpet · 20/12/2021 18:35

I hate boys’ clubs and silly rituals etc and doing each other favours. He thinks it will help him at work. Arguments please against and in favour…

OP posts:
youvegottenminuteslynn · 20/12/2021 20:15

@girlmom21

Wait until a "ladies evening" when they declare how good it is that the women have all made such an effort "for us" 🤮🤮🤮🤮
Oh god is this a real thing they do? Ugh what year is it?!
MargaretHooper · 20/12/2021 20:15

Why does he think it would help him at work?
And - why on earth should it?

Not a very attractive trait to think you should get preferment for no good reason.

JohnHunter · 20/12/2021 20:15

I was a Freemason many years ago.

I don't think there was any more racism/sexism/elitism than you'd find in any other group dominated by middle class middle aged men.

For the most part it was just a dinner club for the retired and almost-retired. I never really understood what all the dressing up and memorised passages were for - a "reason" to meet up, I guess.

I'm pretty sure the rules expressly forbade members from using the group to advance their careers.

ClaudiaJ1 · 20/12/2021 20:15

@pantherrose

Freemasonry is wholly incompatible with Christianity. It is a cult, with occult leanings, rituals and where members are encouraged to pervert the course of justice if it a fellow mason is in trouble and it is within their means to do so. This is the antithesis of Christ’s teaching.
This is laughable. You actually need to be a Christian to join the Freemasons, they don't accept atheists. So of course it is compatible with Christianity!
Heepers · 20/12/2021 20:16

@Shehasadiamondinthesky

Shows how ignorant you are. I am lady Mason and there is so much more to it than that. Bet you didn't know we existed either. Are you always so controlling?
Really making yourself seem appealing with this comment
Lorw · 20/12/2021 20:16

My DHs a mason. It’s nothing like people believe it is. They do so much charity work! And they work hard to organise it. For example my DHs lodge has raised money and donated ambulances recently (they have the Masonic logos on them so you know which ones they are) they aren’t really all that secretive and if you ask any of them anything about being a mason they will tell you, just rituals and bits and pieces are kept secret which is all part of it.

It has given him so much confidence and friends, they have meetings once a month where they talk about what’s gone on and vote on how raised money is to be spent, they do their rituals and then have dinner, they are like a little family and do look after each other. They hold white table events where ladies are invited. Are present in the community and during the COVID lockdown they have made sure that older members of the community have had food/warmth and some company (even if it’s over the likes of a call) my DH was one of those out delivering food parcels, ringing people up for a chat and getting their prescriptions for them.

They also look after any widows of their members and I know my DHs lodge pay for any specialist care their family may need and end of life care for their masons. Dont believe everything you hear 😁

It’s also not only men, plenty of women only lodges too!

SweetMeadow · 20/12/2021 20:16

My Dad was asked to join many times when he was in the police but he didn’t feel comfortable about the number of mediocre officers being promoted and he wanted to be known as succeeding on his own merit. Because of his rank, many people assumed he was a member. I just think it’s sad that anyone would feel they needed an external means of helping them to get on these days. He also said it all sounded quite dull what he knew of it at the time.

WonderfulYou · 20/12/2021 20:17

So what if they keep a goat in the basement

Huh??? I hope this was a joke!

ReeseWitherfork · 20/12/2021 20:17

@ClaudiaJ1

The amount of prejudice and ignorance on this thread is very sad. I guess people fear what they don't know or understand.
Hard to be ignorant about things you know a lot about. I've always struggled with that Wink
TwilightSkies · 20/12/2021 20:17

Are there any non-white Masons?

WonderfulYou · 20/12/2021 20:17

Can't believe nobody has posted it yet:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_QQhQFPb3E

YESSS!!
This has made my day GrinGrin

girlmom21 · 20/12/2021 20:19

@youvegottenminuteslynn yeah it's absolutely absurd.
I went to one about 7 years ago and I'm still not over that phrase.

greatape · 20/12/2021 20:19

My granddad joined the masons in the late 60s or early 70s. He worked in local government and was a bit of a working class Tory/son of a shopkeeper/got his boys to the Grammar type. But he was a loving and kindly man and probably less sexist/racist than most of his peers. Not gonna pretend he was a saint by any means though. I am sure he joined because he thought it was advantageous to his progression with the 'right' sort.

My gran wasn't having it though, didn't go for 'any of that ladies night rubbish' and he stopped going.

When she died unexpectedly in her mid 70s he was bereft. His bil was a regular attendee and he took him along and he got very into it again. It gave him a social
Network of men of his age and the charity work gave him a sense of purpose. My dad was highly sceptical but without it I doubt he would have managed as well as he did. His funeral was in the lodge and was packed with very kind men in their 70s/80s.

But we did all find it dodgy as fuck tbh. The day I found his pinny was a dark day indeed as it was so silly and I couldn't imagine my Grandad not feeling like a right twat in it.

YellowandGreenToBeSeen · 20/12/2021 20:19

@ClaudiaJ1

The amount of prejudice and ignorance on this thread is very sad. I guess people fear what they don't know or understand.
I don’t fear. I dislike, based on experience of Masons I’ve met.
HundredMilesAnHour · 20/12/2021 20:20

I used to be a waitress at various Mason 'events'. I also had the misfortune of waiting on the Lady Masons at their monthly meetings. What a vile bunch of women they were! They were notorious at the venue where I worked for no-one wanting to work when it was them.

TheSpottedZebra · 20/12/2021 20:21

@ClaudiaJ1

You sound very narrow-minded and ignorant. The Freemasons are usually the MOST respected people in the community. They exist mainly for charity, they do a lot for the community. I would be proud if my husband wanted to join them. Whatever is the matter with you??
Caps and bold type. Hmm, that does seem convincing!

But then I am back to the 'secretive club mainly full of white, male, semi privileged members who grant favours to those who are connected with them'.

A modern dilemma.

DaisyNGO · 20/12/2021 20:22

@TwilightSkies

Are there any non-white Masons?
The one I know isn't white.

My family are not white and I think my uncle was asked to join but he had ideas about it that I can see on this thread.

ClaudiaJ1 · 20/12/2021 20:22

@YellowandGreenToBeSeen I don’t fear. I dislike, based on experience of Masons I’ve met.

That's like saying you dislike the Rotary Club because of members you've met, or you dislike a certain race or area of the country.

It's small-minded prejudice and ignorance. No different to racism in it's actual intent.

AlyssasBackRolls · 20/12/2021 20:25

My partner is a fully fledged mason and it hasn't remotely impinged on family life.

The ethos is decent in my opinion and giving to charity/being public spirited has been constant throughout the pandemic. They've been nothing but community focused where we are. Not eltist at all. It's been made very clear that "on the gauge" family comes first.

And there isn't that much secrecy tbh. It's like the scouts. You can download the "handbook" online if you really want to.

I don't really see how it would help get someone a leg up at work - perhaps because many privileged people are masons but many masons are not privileged people.

HarrisMcCoo · 20/12/2021 20:25

@Jessica60

Full of police officers. Promote each other and prevent the sexist ones getting sacked from force. Makes it impossible for women to make complaints. Boys club.
No wonder if it's been going since dawn of time 😂
CathyorClaire · 20/12/2021 20:27

Overgrown boy's club. They haven't shaken their back-hander, leg up for the boys,high-fiving the judge from the defendant's box ever despite all the 'behind the doors' documentaries they've made which tells you something.

In addition everything I've read or seen about the Masons points to the charitable funds raised going overwhelmingly to Masonic charities.

pigsinblanketsrule · 20/12/2021 20:28

The masons do a huge amount in my local community to help local charities. Mostly under the radar, there's no song and dance about the money given in support, it just happens. Whereas most other organisations that fund require some sort of publicity in the funding terms.

I do know a few people who are members of the masonic lodge where I live and it is like any other club in life - 50% good people, 50 % prats.

You don't need to be christian, just believe in a higher being I think (from memory).

I have been invited to a couple of functions when they tried to recruit me into the women's section. It didn't frighten me, I just didn't think I had time for it.

I could imagine it would be good for networking, for instance, a local print firm gaining the business of all the local lodge members.

Pawprintpaper · 20/12/2021 20:29

@Jessica60

Full of police officers. Promote each other and prevent the sexist ones getting sacked from force. Makes it impossible for women to make complaints. Boys club.
This ^^

My DF (police officer) was invited numerous times but declined as he felt it presented a conflict of interest. Better than Ted Hastings my Pa.

AssemblySquare · 20/12/2021 20:30

@ClaudiaJ1 only one of my relatives in the Masons is a Christian, but none of the 4 or 5 others are!

I’m still waiting to hear about why the secrecy is necessary…

Northernsoullover · 20/12/2021 20:32

They do feather their own nests. My brothers ex girlfriend got sent to their boarding school in Rickmansworth and she got something like 400 quid a term to spend on clothes. This was in the late 80s

Swipe left for the next trending thread