I feel like a controlling daughter in law

[Wenjie]

I told my husband's parents that it's fine they went overboard with gifts this year, but going forward we can only accept one gift per child, and it has to fit in a 13 long, 13 wide 15 wide cubby on our kallax shelving unit. It was so awkward.

I mean you asked for fewer gifts, not more. Plus it was for convenience so you had room to stock them.

I don’t think you were controlling at all

I couldn’t disagree more - I think you sound not only controlling, but a right misery.

Jeez, it’s Christmas. They’re grandparents.

Chill.

Fine to ask for less, shitty to demand it's a certain size. You are being pretty controlling in doing that.

Only a controlling DIL? I'd say controlling full stop.

Sounds so silly. Fine to gently ask for fewer presents, but demanding that they fit in your shelving unit is batshit.

@Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel

Only a controlling DIL? I'd say controlling full stop.

Love the name!

You don't give any context, so your request to your ILs sounds just plain weird.

But I remember your thread about your ILs sending endless numbers of boxes containing gifts for your children, you're living in a 1-bed with 5/6 of you?

With that context, this current post makes sense. No context = no sense.

I think the delivery could have been better

I think it depends. I have very limited space for toys etc so I’ve told my parents any bigger gifts stay at their house.

…I sense a massive drip feed coming 🙄

Also very dull.

Sorry OP but what happened to the fun & excitement of Xmas for your child?

@NightOwlWoes

Fine to ask for less, shitty to demand it's a certain size. You are being pretty controlling in doing that.

That's the part I'm feeling awful about. This is our tree after all their gifts arrived, so I obviously had to say something. But I basically dictated what size doll they could buy.

Well, that's clearly way too much so I don't think anyone can blame you there. However, the size thing isn't really on. As long as they don't buy things like child sized cars or arcade machines, they need to have a little control over what they give their DGC.

Those are Amazon boxes, they could have one small thing each and the rest filled with plastic air bubbles. It doesn’t actually seem like that much in terms of taking up space.

@Xyzzzzz

I think it depends. I have very limited space for toys etc so I’ve told my parents any bigger gifts stay at their house.

That sounds reasonable. I could have promised a visit in the summer and said big gifts can live at their house.

and it has to fit in a 13 long, 13 wide 15 wide cubby on our kallax shelving unit

So they're meant to measure everything they buy?

@BlackCatz

and it has to fit in a 13 long, 13 wide 15 wide cubby on our kallax shelving unit

So they're meant to measure everything they buy?

Right. That's the part I'm having misgivings about.

I doubt anyone can predict the size of an amazon box. Maybe you could ban amazon purchases because reasons?

@SpinnersWindow

I doubt anyone can predict the size of an amazon box. Maybe you could ban amazon purchases because reasons?

One of the gifts they sent was a dollhouse that, when open, was 28 high x 39 wide x 11 deep. That one we returned. Maybe I should have said nothing about size, and returned whatever was too big.

@Meowwwwwww

Those are Amazon boxes, they could have one small thing each and the rest filled with plastic air bubbles. It doesn’t actually seem like that much in terms of taking up space.

I've opened them up to check on each package. This is what they sent each kid:

18 year old -
Amazon gift card
Spirited Away figurine

10 year old -
Minecraft Block Building Light
Minecraft Farm Life Adventure Pack
Minecraft Pig Money Bank
book, Addison Cooke and the Treasure of the Incas
book, Belly Up
Minecraft Sticker Book
screen protector
Nintendo Super Mario Bros Game & Watch

8 year old -
Melissa & Doug Catch and Count Fishing Game
stuffed animal, fennec fox
Bigiggles talking animal toy, Bruce the Koala
Bigiggles talking animal toy, Phoebe the Unicorn
Bigiggles talking animal toy, Percy the Pup
Bigiggles talking animal toy, Diego the Llama
Super Mario 3D World + Bowser’s Fury
My Universe Pet Clinic Cats & Dogs
book, Lisette the Vet
10 dry erase markers
6 neon dry erase markers
magnetic felt eraser
batteries
Barbie backpack
plastic stethoscope
light up & sound plush unicorn
unicorn lip gloss
Sour Patch Kids
Conair makeup tote
book, Going Viral
book, Reign of Terror
book, Crack in the Code!
book, Minecraft: The Shipwreck
Cotton Candy Unicorn Pillow Pet
KitKat miniatures
book, A Wrinkle In Time
I Want to be a Vet Activity Book
book, Smithsonian’s Ocean: a visual encyclopedia
6 pastel markers
coloring book
book, No Such Thing as a Witch
book, What the Witch Left
Hatchimals Pixies Crystal Flyers
book. The Trouble With Magic
Dinosaur Star Belly Dream Lite

4 year old -
book, Velveteen Rabbit
book, Goodnight, Goodnight Construction Site
Roblox Collector’s Toolbox
Roblox Meep City Meep Hospital
LeapFrog Rockit Twist Rotatable Learning Game System
My Dog Piggy Bank
Roblox Pet Show
book, Frederick’s Fables
Roblox Adopt Me: Backyard BBQ
stuffed animal, bunny
Roblox Sticker Book
book, Santa Mouse
batteries
KidKraft Everyday Hereos Wooden Playset

'It's fine' sounds rather pass aggressive before everything else.

Haha, that list is fucking insane.

Any reason why 8 year old appears to have got 'more'? Did the children give a list? That is some amount of stuff. Can you send more back/ keep for regifting?? What have you bought?

Agree--OP, that is a very oddly skewed list.

Okay you were a bit too controlling OP.
But given that ridiculous amount of gifts I can see why.
It does seem very unequal unless they spend the same money on each dc and one just likes cheaper stuff.

I agree with a previous poster, I would soften the blow by saying they can buy large toys for their house, buy as many experiences as they would like, monthly magazine subscriptions or premium bonds.