I feel like a controlling daughter in law

[Wenjie]

I told my husband's parents that it's fine they went overboard with gifts this year, but going forward we can only accept one gift per child, and it has to fit in a 13 long, 13 wide 15 wide cubby on our kallax shelving unit. It was so awkward.

I did read your other thread. Space is very tight but hopefully come June will be better as can sell /move ?

Do inlaws know how small your place is

@NalPolishRemover

OP do you never speak to your in-laws? How far away do they live & why have they never been to your home? Have they met the dc in person? This all seems incredibly strange

I hop on the call sometimes if I'm home when DC call them, but it's usually brief. FIL worked at the Defense Language Institute in Monterey, CA for four years and we spent a lot of time we them during that time, almost every weekend and sometimes we'd leave one of the kids behind for a visit without us. But then that job ended and my ILs moved to where my BIL about 2,000 miles east of us in Ohio. We could no longer afford renting our 3 bedroom and bought a 1-bed. But that was in December 2019. Neither of us have visited each other since they moved in June 2018.

DH told them how small it was when he called to say he couldn't accept the dollhouse.

@justasking111

PIL here out GCS have so many toys from parents which end up in the bin, we buy 4 each clothes, practical things and one toy

Never buy clothes. Kids don’t appreciate them til their late teens. My mil keeps doing it abs then getting upset as the children aren’t interested. They’d rather have a couple of thought out things (or ask).

@underneaththeash the parents see the clothes beforehand I screenshot the garments they. Then decide I just buy and wrap

Your eldest has a wise head on her shoulders, op. You must be proud :)

My in laws let us know that they addressed some of the parcels to my 8 year old, but meant them for her brothers. So that explains the oddly skewed list.

Crazy. One item per grandchild here and money for savings. But we do buy through the year if they need anything else.

The children sound very loved. I hope some agreement can be reached between you all.

That’s an insane list of presents and seems very unbalanced. Even if the lists cost the same, kids of that age will notice number of parcels not their value. Definitely a conversation was needed. But where’s there son and why are you left dealing with them? Assume it’s the usual penis-induced limitations

@TrufflesAndToast

That’s an insane list of presents and seems very unbalanced. Even if the lists cost the same, kids of that age will notice number of parcels not their value. Definitely a conversation was needed. But where’s there son and why are you left dealing with them? Assume it’s the usual penis-induced limitations

They did realize they addressed some of the parcels to my eight year old, but meant them for my sons. And DH called them when the first wave of gifts came in, to say we had to return the dollhouse. They didn't warn us that more parcels were coming.

I think it's a lot of gifts & it would be better to set up bank accounts & ask for some money in lieu of gifts.

What about a family pass to something like a zoo or theme park?

I also think DH needs a proper conversation about your flat - it would give them a better idea as to why you're worried about space.

I wouldn't expect gifts to come in boxes like that - they would need wrapping up?

It's sad your children haven't seen them - can you go to visit?