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Original poster

Covid losses ( not deaths) you have suffered

171 replies

CaliforniaDrumming · 04/12/2021 12:46

I wanted to vent a little but not on the Covid board because that tends to be very aggressive. I want to scream loudly about the unfair Covid losses that I have suffered that are not deaths ( though I have also had deaths), because these are so often overlooked.

My DD, for instance. I have lost her. Her entire personality has changed with online university. She used to be so confident and outgoing. Now she is timid and shy. She used to love studying. Now she hates it after she lost two internships to covid. She used to see a purpose in life. Now she looks at a decimated economy and can't see one. I may get her back eventually but it is very hard to see now.

Please don't say she needs to be more resilient. I am tired of hearing that two years into the pandemic.

OP posts:
WeirdArchitecture · 04/12/2021 19:44

I'm sorry to hear that. And of course, she will already BE resilient, this is still so new and unprecedented, that anyone trying to criticise how we all deal with it is on shaky ground. And anyone around our age (middle age usually for MN) will be hard pushed to even imagine how it would have affected them as a youngster.
This has really took a toll on young people, and those older adults with solid incomes, homes and well developed safety nets will just have to tut-tut away in their ivory towers.

For me (no kids) i made a few giant life changes just prior to covid. And no i didnt see it coming! Grin
I had moved to a rural area, planning to learn to drive. My DP planning to join me in a year or so. I had started a new business, which is ticking along, but covid has definitely taken a whack at my stability, so god knows when i will be able to learn to drive, and i am extremely isolated where i live. I had so many plans, was about to start a new skills course and take up voluntary work too.

Most of all it has made me look at other people's behaviours that are unpleasant. I look around and feel there are more murders in the news, more violence in general, and a general sense of entitlement that has become more potent since the pandemic. Visiting my old home town was a shock too, the town centre suddenly over run with shouting, screaming, fighting, trash strewn everywhere, kids tearing property apart.
I dont know who they are, or where they were hiding previously, but it feels new to me, and i dont like the feelings i have about it, it is so depressing.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 04/12/2021 19:48

I’ve lost my sense of smell. Haven’t smelt anything since August.

My relationships have changed as I worked so many hours over the last two years (work in care) as I’ve been covering furlough and sickness/SI. I also ‘lived’ at work for two weeks when we had an outbreak, caught covid while looking after people and didn’t see DC for that time. Barely seen my parents, DP and I had a rocky patch and I feel as though DS and I aren’t as close.

Vampiricouncil · 04/12/2021 19:52

A fantastic amazing boss to long covid.

She is all but completely disabled by it.

She has a life limiting condition due to it and has had to give up work. Given a life expectancy of 5 years. Life is torture for her now.

I miss her. The best boss I ever had.
She was a charismatic, hard working, kind, patient courageous person with endless energy and vision.

I wish I could show the non believers and anti vaccination people my boss before & after. It’s horrendous.

LadyCatStark · 04/12/2021 19:56

My mental health.

RosieLemonade · 04/12/2021 20:08

My dream holiday to Disney which we had been planning for five years 🙃

Innocenta · 04/12/2021 20:16

My wedding.

TheDrsDocMartens · 04/12/2021 20:21

9 months of work for me which has put us in debt and set my qualifications back about 18months as I’ve had to build my skills again. Also I’ve been back doing the home parent stuff where dh was picking it up.
Dc1 lost a year abroad which was part of their course. Dc 2 is online for uni but has done well apart from difficulty getting to know people to live with. Happy in current flat though.
Other dc were doing really well with home-school instead of school and mainly was actually an improvement for both work wise but set back with sport activities.

LibbyL92 · 04/12/2021 20:24

My smell and taste

And the being spontaneous with booking holidays ect.

Currently have two trips to Vegas booked in the next 12 weeks and I just know I’m going to lose them again. (Both been moved 5 times now)

I know it’s the least of peoples problems but it’s a big part of my life being able to travel ect. And I just feel so sad it’s been made incredibly difficult to do.

Pinkflipflop85 · 04/12/2021 20:28

My ds started the pandemic as a happy go lucky, wonderful funny child.

He is now constantly angry and regularly tells us he wants to die.

BleuJay · 04/12/2021 20:30

We haven’t got school/college/university age children in our family and we have not fallen for the nonsense the government and media has tried to push on us so other than travel restrictions we have lived our lives as normal.

I feel so sorry for children and students, who have been subjected to this lunacy, they will not get that time back again.

QueenofLouisiana · 04/12/2021 20:33

I own a mobile home in France. Haven’t set foot in it since August 2019. I dread to think what state it is in at the moment.

I know it’s a first world problem, but I’d love to go back.

3cats4poniesandababy · 04/12/2021 20:35

My sons baby years. I got pregnant just before covid kicked off and just as the world opened up in the summer I returned to work. I missed all the mummy and baby groups, spending time with grandparents ect

USaYwHatNow · 04/12/2021 20:36

I stand to lose amazing colleagues who have chosen not to have the vaccine (for health issues which would drastically increase their chances of dangerous blood clots) which means they will be sacked come April

bloodywhitecat · 04/12/2021 20:37

I will lose DH. His cancer diagnosis was so badly delayed he is for palliative treatment only as by the time they finally got round to performing surgery his cancer had already spread.

AdoraBell · 04/12/2021 20:37

My job and DH’s income.

EcoCustard · 04/12/2021 20:42

I lost my business that I had recently started before Covid, husbands business has been hit hard, he is a different person, affected my marriage. Eldest dc has and continues to struggle with himself & school. Youngest dc is behind developmental especially with speech. My studies have been delayed from deferring and module delays this year. Also lost a few holidays.

SieveBrain · 04/12/2021 20:43

So sorry to hear that bloodywhitecat :(

Dp lost his job and cannot find anything permanent that pays anywhere near what he earned before. His industry has been destroyed.

Ds started university last year and met no one as freshers was cancelled and loads of people didn't end up going into residence. In 2nd yr now and he just seems to know no one.

Dd got her dream job abroad yet because of covid they have delayed her starting 3 times. She was meant to be flying out today but last week they announced another delay because of omicron :(. She's giving it 1 more time and then will give up :(.

I haven't seen my dad for years (he lives in a country a 12 hour flight away that was on the red list for ages).

SieveBrain · 04/12/2021 20:44

@EcoCustard yes it's really affected our relationship too. Dp is a different person (I almost started a thread about it today!).

RobinPenguins · 04/12/2021 20:45

My mum is in the early stages of dementia. It really seems like the various lockdowns accelerated it. I’ve lost my mum as a source of comfort or support.

LostForWords2021 · 04/12/2021 20:46

@bloodywhitecat

I will lose DH. His cancer diagnosis was so badly delayed he is for palliative treatment only as by the time they finally got round to performing surgery his cancer had already spread.
I'm so very sorry.

So sad to read, I can't imagine where you are all at at this time.

FrancescaContini · 04/12/2021 20:46

@bloodywhitecat

I will lose DH. His cancer diagnosis was so badly delayed he is for palliative treatment only as by the time they finally got round to performing surgery his cancer had already spread.
This is truly heart breaking. I am so sorry.
MarshaBradyo · 04/12/2021 20:46

Very sorry to hear that op, it’s so hard when it’s your dc

I’m worried I won’t get home to Aus as just as I nearly booked this new variant surfaced.

MajorCarolDanvers · 04/12/2021 20:47

Lots of colleagues made redundant due to the financial impact on the charity we work for.

My 13 year old has lost his confidence and resilience and any joy in learning.

Todayissunny · 04/12/2021 20:52

Haven't seen my mum or siblings and their children since sept 2019. For my DCs it's been even longer. I thought I would be able to travel soon, but it's not looking good again now. The latest restrictions have hit me quite hard. I feel as if I am going through the same emotions you have when grieving.

SilverGlassHare · 04/12/2021 20:53

Normality for my infant school aged DS. He had 1.5 terms of normal primary school, then Covid struck. Even though there haven’t been any closures this term, nothing is how it should be - carol concert on the freezing school field instead if a nativity play, sports day without parents to watch, no mixing with his friends in other classes, no bringing in school bags, classrooms all bleak and empty (and cold!). I suppose he doesn’t really know what he’s missing out on but that’s kind of heartbreaking too.