Page 6 | Covid losses ( not deaths) you have suffered

CaliforniaDrumming · 2021-12-04T12:46:40+00:00

I wanted to vent a little but not on the Covid board because that tends to be very aggressive. I want to scream loudly about the unfair Covid losses that I have suffered that are not deaths ( though I have also had deaths), because these are so often overlooked. My DD, for instance. I have lost her. Her entire personality has changed with online university. She used to be so confident and outgoing. Now she is timid and shy. She used to love studying. Now she hates it after she lost two internships to covid. She used to see a purpose in life. Now she looks at a decimated economy and can't see one. I may get her back eventually but it is very hard to see now. Please don't say she needs to be more resilient. I am tired of hearing that two years into the pandemic.

Toomanyscentedcandles · 05/12/2021 07:15

@Vampiricouncil

A fantastic amazing boss to long covid.

She is all but completely disabled by it.

She has a life limiting condition due to it and has had to give up work. Given a life expectancy of 5 years. Life is torture for her now.

I miss her. The best boss I ever had.
She was a charismatic, hard working, kind, patient courageous person with endless energy and vision.

I wish I could show the non believers and anti vaccination people my boss before & after. It’s horrendous.

So sorry to hear this. Do you mind saying what the illness is?

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 05/12/2021 07:22

This thread is so heartbreaking!

I am so sorry for everyone who has lost family and friends during the last couple of years or precious time with people. I’m sorry for those who lost themselves. I’m so sorry for those who have lost their jobs due to cut backs or mental health. I’m so sorry for those who have lost their partner.

I really hope that the next few years improve everyone’s lives significantly.

CornishGem1975 · 05/12/2021 07:30

You're right about the masks - it's completely normal to them. Sorry to hear you've struggled @PrincessConsuela12 Feel free to message me if you ever need a chat.

CornishGem1975 · 05/12/2021 07:31

Thanks @NeverTheHootenanny I guess the silver lining with my mum is, she doesn't have a clue what's going on.

Toomanyscentedcandles · 05/12/2021 07:33

This thread is so shocking. A snapshot of how much this awful time has taken from peoples lives.
Covid has affected my family relationships quite significantly. Caused a lot of stress and upset. DD has had two expensive courses ruined as she couldn’t attend. It’s a practical course so online working didnt apply. She’s lost a lot of money and it’s impacted her career chances. She had to move home for the first year of lockdown. With no money and unable to see her friends, she became very depressed and angry which has caused serious rifts between us which are still not mended. Son lost his work in Universities so also stuck at home all day without any other focus . This caused a lot of stress for all of us.
Lack of anything to do but walk for OH and myself very hard. We are retired. So all in all a household of miserable, stressed and bored people. The whole Covid thing has caused my already fragile son with depression to develop major health anxieties. Meanwhile the doctors surgery has
Virtually shut up shop. No doctors to see as they have a ‘chronic shortage’ apparently.
I don’t feel life will ever return to what we considered ‘normal’ previously. People are traumatised and have lost so much.

PieMistee · 05/12/2021 07:39

I've been OK though my business has dropped off by a third.
DH is suffering from PTSD having been a frontline worker in hospital and is tormented by people dying alone, and also having a single mother die of covid while her two children (6 and 10) were in the room next door. He had to tell them and then sit with them for 2 hours near her body as there was no where else they could go and they almost certainly had covid too. Poor kids. He also has long covid and has to go to bed most nights at 9pm.

Spudlet · 05/12/2021 07:47

DS’s EHCP application - it couldn’t made until he’d actually been in school for a suitable period of time, so the whole process is further back than it should be. And now he’s waiting to be allocated to an educational psychologist, but apparently there’s a national shortage. So he’s currently getting no official support behind what the school can cobble together, and we’re in limbo waiting.

My grandma has also declined hugely in terms of physical and mental health over lockdown, and she won’t be getting that back now. So we’ve lost that.

My peace of mind. I was always a worrier but now I just seem to have no optimism left in me. I feel so fatalistic all the time. Just waiting for the next bucket of shit to be tipped over us.

But that still pales in comparison to some of the losses on this thread. I am so very sorry for all of you

MissCrowley · 05/12/2021 08:03

My mental health, my happiness.
I've gained health anxiety, panic attacks and almost a nervous breakdown.

I'm clearly not as resilient or as strong as I thought I was.
Mental health was always a toughie for me anyway as I had a pretty shit childhood. But since having my own children my anxiety has got worse and this pandemic tipped me over the edge.

MissCrowley · 05/12/2021 08:08

Also my kids have missed out on so much school and social skills that my DD became quite withdrawn and was making death threats at 6 years old.

The entire pandemic has been handled appallingly and I feel there's still a long way to go with much of the same and it makes me feel pretty upset thinking about it.

Original poster

CaliforniaDrumming · 05/12/2021 08:17

@MissCrowley

Also my kids have missed out on so much school and social skills that my DD became quite withdrawn and was making death threats at 6 years old.

The entire pandemic has been handled appallingly and I feel there's still a long way to go with much of the same and it makes me feel pretty upset thinking about it.

That's really shocking. My DD actually says she prefers online uni because she doesn't have the energy to deal with in person classes now and prefers being holed up in her room. It broke my heart; my uni years were the best of my life. I feel like we are going to be dealing with the mental health fall out of this pandemic for years to come. Yes, it's not the Blitz, it's not the world wars, but nevertheless I feel like it has been catastrophic.

OP posts:

MarshaBradyo · 05/12/2021 08:21

@MissCrowley

Also my kids have missed out on so much school and social skills that my DD became quite withdrawn and was making death threats at 6 years old.

The entire pandemic has been handled appallingly and I feel there's still a long way to go with much of the same and it makes me feel pretty upset thinking about it.

Your poor dc.

Closing schools for two terms (to many) caused a lot of harm.

MintyCedric · 05/12/2021 09:07

@CaliforniaDrumming

I've spent a lot of time rationalising the last two year under the heading 'it's not WW2...that lasted for 6 years and everyone got through'

The difference thoughis that they got through it together, united by a common enemy and with strong leadership.

This pandemic has pitted people against one another, deprived us of the social infrastructure that we would normally turn to in bad times, and as for leadership...

fakereview · 05/12/2021 09:23

I have a big 0 birthday in March and it is looking increasingly unlikely that I will be able to do anything nice for it like go away.

And I've missed out on doing out for my birthday two years running already (in 2020 it was just before lockdown and it didn't seem sensible to go out to a restaurant at the time).

But other than that I think DH and I have been very lucky and not suffered. We've been able to WFH and save money, and neither of us are party animals so we've not been bothered about reduced social activities.

It's not been as great for our son who had his sixth form years completely disrupted, was in lockdown for his 18th and had his driving lessons messed up though he passed his test earlier this year. And at least he's had a term of comparative normality for his first term at university.

But all of that pales into insignificance for the people who have worse health problems both directly from covid and from healthcare resources being diverted to covid so they've missed out on diagnosis and treatment or been left in pain for even longer.

awaynboilyurheid · 05/12/2021 09:41

My daughter developed long COVID , she lost her previously good health for well over a year watching her not being able to walk to the end of the road without going grey and being in pain was awful. She still has odd health flare ups which no one can tell us the reasons for because we just don’t know enough yet, and now she now has health anxiety.

We lost family in America who didn’t take COVID seriously enough.

My other child reacted badly to the vaccine and ended up with cardiac problems, was in cardiac ICU twice, which she is still being treated for , but I would still tell anyone to get the vaccine.

I worried about them all and my wee elderly mum lost out on precious time left to see people and go out while she still can .
I developed tinnitus through the stress of it all which was horrendous at first but I cope with it now but I know I’ve got it for the rest of my life.

Madhairday · 05/12/2021 09:53

These are so heartbreaking. I'm so sorry

I lost my income back in March 2020. Building up again now.
DD had a breakdown and dropped out of uni. Much better now taking a year out.
DS is suffering terrible stress now revising for A Levels having never done exams.
I lost some dear friends. One to cancer, one to delayed treatment for her illness (CEV), one to suicide. My friend lost her healthy DD to covid.
I lost my confidence. I had to shield (CEV also) and just lost my ability to be with people for a while. I'm still shaky and uncertain of myself.
Lost faith in people - so much selfishness.

flinginflangin · 05/12/2021 10:01

A figure I was happy with. I lost 2st in 2019 and felt great fitting into size 12 jeans again. Then lockdown hit and in between doing homeschool, only being able to do short walks and numerous isolations I managed to pile it back on. I have tried and tried to get rid of it but it won't seem to shift. Over the summer I saw friends I hadn't seen since before March 2020 and although no one said anything, I could see my weight was the fist thing they noticed. It made my heart sink and I've felt down ever since. It doesn't help that one of my friends was so anxious about the pandemic she struggled to eat and has lost over 3 st.

RachC2021 · 05/12/2021 10:02

My breast. Diagnosed with cancer last year. Not allowed immediate reconstruction due to Covid-19. I have no idea when or if I’ll ever now have reconstruction.

dogaibu · 05/12/2021 10:10

This is so sad to read..

I lost my dad. He was already an alcoholic, but he had it under control. The loneliness and isolation caused by Covid caused him to spiral. He died in Feb this year.

All my travel plans.

My enjoyment of work. I had a group of lovely, funny colleagues who I enjoyed seeing every day. I'm still working from home, and though I'm used to it, I miss the office banter and I miss laughing until my sides hurt. I hate my job nowadays.

Oldraver · 05/12/2021 10:40

I wasn't sure whether to post as mine sits in the 'trivial compared to others' posts

But our funny little cat was ill during the first lock down and spent a week in vet hospital and we couldn't visit. I know he got lots of love and cuddles but the thought of him not seeing us for his last week if his life, when he must of been very confused was upsetting

I've also got a friend who has gone down the anti everything rabbit hole during COVID and seeing her spout off about the police on a night out was a shock.

FanGirlX · 05/12/2021 10:50

I lost my dad. He was already an alcoholic, but he had it under control. The loneliness and isolation caused by Covid caused him to spiral. He died in Feb this year.

This is so sad, I fear ex DP is heading the same way. Leaving little DD without a Dad. He's really spiralled over the last 18 months.

Innocenta · 05/12/2021 11:13

@Oldraver It isn't trivial. I'm so sorry.

LookslovelyinSpringtime · 05/12/2021 11:15

My heart goes out to everyone on this thread. .

RobinPenguins · 05/12/2021 11:17

It’s also sad to read people apologising for things and describing them as trivial. There are some truly heartbreaking accounts here and my heart goes out to those people Some of the ‘trivial’ losses are things that absolutely bring joy to our lives and it’s okay to be upset at losing them.

Da1sycha1n · 05/12/2021 11:27

Gosh this is all so heartbreaking and I really want to offer my condolence to all of you who have lost loved ones.

And my sympathies to those of you for whom life has just totally changed - so many of us "had it together" before COVID and now just don't. Things to look forward to, plans to do stuff, holidays, weddings, and just the 'normal' we'd got used to.

For me, I lost my business that I'd re-trained for and invested my only savings in starting. It had been going 5 years before Covid and was doing ok, just about in a position to start paying me back my savings a bit at a time. The retail sector it was in was massively hit so the business failed due to ongoing lease costs and the everyday running costs. The Gov help was just a bit late in my case and I regret not hanging on in many ways.

So my financial security is gone, I was out of work for 18 months and have only just managed to get a minimum wage part time job.

I'm 50, live alone, don't qualify for any meaningful help (I get a small amount towards my rent) and have just eaten the pretty much the last of my food - I literally have 4 apples and some rice to last until the 10th Dec when I get paid. I know that's more than many, but it is so soul-destroying to live hand-to-mouth.

Just before the first lockdown I was feeling unwell and spent months during lockdown not wanting t bother the GP and then being fobbed off, so the illness has progressed to the point that I am in constant pain every day. I can't manage the part time job really, but am trying to keep going.

I relocated over 200 miles for my business so have been very isolated from friends and family, terribly depressed and totally skint. I don't want my family (DPs and young adult DCs) to know how badly things have gone as I don't want to worry them and it's exhausting keeping up an act. I also don't want their DF, my ex-h, to know just how badly my life has gone since we divorced (misplaced pride I know but it's hard).

I'm terrified of becoming homeless, reached out to my landlord to see if they could reduce the rent and got an emphatic 'no'. Worried that if I ask again they will start the eviction process.

Most days I think about ending it all as I can't see things getting any better, employers and society don't really want disabled 50 year olds, I don't really have a lot to offer. But each day I get up and try and make the best of whatever life is now, and I really don't want to put my family through all that that would entail.

I'm just hoping that things will get better one day, they have to.

Thanks for reading this. I know it's self-indulgent but if you met me in RL you'd have no idea how much sadness I'm hiding.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 05/12/2021 11:39

@Da1sycha1n