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Original poster

Covid losses ( not deaths) you have suffered

171 replies

CaliforniaDrumming · 04/12/2021 12:46

I wanted to vent a little but not on the Covid board because that tends to be very aggressive. I want to scream loudly about the unfair Covid losses that I have suffered that are not deaths ( though I have also had deaths), because these are so often overlooked.

My DD, for instance. I have lost her. Her entire personality has changed with online university. She used to be so confident and outgoing. Now she is timid and shy. She used to love studying. Now she hates it after she lost two internships to covid. She used to see a purpose in life. Now she looks at a decimated economy and can't see one. I may get her back eventually but it is very hard to see now.

Please don't say she needs to be more resilient. I am tired of hearing that two years into the pandemic.

OP posts:

SilverGlassHare · 04/12/2021 20:56

And that’s quite aside from the fact he hasn’t seen his CEV grandfather who lives far away for 2 years, and didn’t see his cousins for nearly as long. And all the things he missed in lockdown. It’s bad enough for adults but a couple of years in my life is much important than it is for him, with nearly 1/3 of his life under Covid restrictions of one kind or another.

Crunchymum · 04/12/2021 20:58

Chance to give mum a decenr funeral and have a proper commemoration for her.

She didn't die of anything Covid related but restrictions were 15 people at funerals and no wakes when we had her funeral.

My DC2 hasn't yet done a full school year - praying this year she does!!!

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 04/12/2021 20:58

My DF. He died of a heart attack when he ended up in a care home and no one could visit. He was ill but he lost his fight entirely.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 04/12/2021 21:02

In comparison to other people, this is a real non-issue but I lost the maternity leave I was so desperately looking forward to.

I fell pregnant with DD1 when I was 19 so none of my friends were having babies and I was looked down on at baby groups so I stopped going.

DD2 was born September 2020 and I spent my maternity leave with her unable to go to any groups, see any people, spend time with my friends who had also had babies and home schooling DD1 which was a double blow because my maternity was meant to be a break from teaching.

jesusmaryjosephandtheweedonkey · 04/12/2021 21:04

My financial security.
I mean I should be ok but everything I saved and worked for has gone

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 04/12/2021 21:05

@BeingATwatItsABingThing that's rubbish. Going out to groups really helped with my MH when I had DD my Dsil had DNiece at beginning of first lockdown and it's crap.

Meandmini3 · 04/12/2021 21:05

My love of teaching. The profession has taken a beating (ongoing) so I’m getting out.

DrHildegardeLanstrom · 04/12/2021 21:07

DP has long Covid and hasn't worked for almost a year. We have lost his wage. We have lost his kindness and good temper as he is so depressed. He has lost his hope.

ragged · 04/12/2021 21:10

Nothing tangible.
I have lost a lot of faith in people, though.

Because of how readily people embrace authoritarianism, and end up saying crazy extremist yet often hypocritical things about covid.
Also discovered I'm a coward for not being willing to shout louder how mad the restrictions have been.

On plus side, I see lots of "mixed" groups out & about where some are masked & some aren't, and some sanitise and some don't (some maintain 2m and some don't...). They obviously don't care what each other are doing. Online you don't encounter that diversity of how everyone is muddling thru this crazy situation. I want to hope that real world people are hugely more tolerant than online voices.

KatyMac · 04/12/2021 21:10

We lost my mum - heart failure - in hospital with no visits, released to a nursing home with no visits

& no one could go to the funeral

DD had started to establish a career which stopped abruptly and had written/produced a show that was cancelled (at least they were able to film it) - 2yrs is a huge loss for a dancer

My business has been decimated and I was just getting it back on its feet and then I got Covid and I'm postviral so it's stalled again - financially we are wreaked

Pinkflipflop85 · 04/12/2021 21:14

@BeingATwatItsABingThing

In comparison to other people, this is a real non-issue but I lost the maternity leave I was so desperately looking forward to.

I fell pregnant with DD1 when I was 19 so none of my friends were having babies and I was looked down on at baby groups so I stopped going.

I totally understand this.

I was also at the start of maternity leave in the first lockdown and wanted to do all the things I couldn't do with my first (due to my mental health). Instead we were trapped indoors with a very upset 5 year old!

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 04/12/2021 21:14

[quote teaandtoastwithmarmite]@BeingATwatItsABingThing that's rubbish. Going out to groups really helped with my MH when I had DD my Dsil had DNiece at beginning of first lockdown and it's crap. [/quote]
It was rubbish! I was lucky that I was far enough into the whole covid situation that DH was at DD2’s birth but I feel robbed of the exciting pregnancy and time with her before having to go back to work.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 04/12/2021 21:19

@Pinkflipflop85

Having older children as well made it so much harder, didn’t it!

DD1 was 6 when this all started and she is incredibly easygoing as children go. During the first lockdown though, she really struggled. She became stroppy and had tantrums about everything if she didn’t get exactly what she wanted. It was so unlike her. Going back to school mostly brought back my happy, chilled girl, thankfully!

TattyDevine · 04/12/2021 21:20

About 8kg of muscle mass at the gym which has been replaced by about the same in adipose tissue. So my body composition has changed for the worse. It's about time I bite the bullet and say the gym probably won't close and get back to it, but I got so bored of being in and out of lockdowns I got a job in a school that doesn't close. But I could find the time - I think Covid took some of my gym mojo.

Ebananascroogey · 04/12/2021 21:22

Not in the same league as some of the losses that have bought tears to my eyes to read, but I've lost myself. Almost 2 years of being banned from the office, being stuck in the house with a mentally ill DH, I don't know who me is any more, I'm just a shell who moves from bed to office to bed day in day out! Had a short break booked for next week that I was hoping would bring back some zest for life, but now we've lost that to cancellation i feel I've lost the last thing I had to cling onto.... hope!

TattyDevine · 04/12/2021 21:23

It took my cooking mojo. Used to love it, now I never want to cook again.

That quite long period of kids having to wear masks means my son isn't doing German at GCSE whereas he was previously selected as a student who had a talent for languages. But he can go back to it one day, it's never too late to learn a language, and there seems more point if travel is easy which at the moment it's not

TattyDevine · 04/12/2021 21:24

One last thing, it took my pride for my country of birth. I used to love it, now I will go there only for my parents funerals when the sad day comes and never again after that.

HyggeTygge1 · 04/12/2021 21:26

My family! My daughter is in hospital and due to covid rules can only have one parent with her. She's been poorly for 7 weeks and there's still no end in sight. Currently in the house on my own whilst her dad is with her!

grapewine · 04/12/2021 21:27

@bloodywhitecat

I will lose DH. His cancer diagnosis was so badly delayed he is for palliative treatment only as by the time they finally got round to performing surgery his cancer had already spread.

I'm so very sorry.

SallyCinnamon3009 · 04/12/2021 21:28

New baby visits with my second son. He was born at the height of the second peak and can't help but compare that worth DS1 we had people visiting daily, hardly anyone had seen ds2 till the spring. Meeting him fir freezing cold walks in the park was not the same

GreenLunchBox · 04/12/2021 21:30

@Vampiricouncil

A fantastic amazing boss to long covid.

She is all but completely disabled by it.

She has a life limiting condition due to it and has had to give up work. Given a life expectancy of 5 years. Life is torture for her now.

I miss her. The best boss I ever had.
She was a charismatic, hard working, kind, patient courageous person with endless energy and vision.

I wish I could show the non believers and anti vaccination people my boss before & after. It’s horrendous.

Do you mind explaining a bit more? How can covid give you a life-limiting disease with a life expectancy of five years?

Mol1628 · 04/12/2021 21:31

My grandad. Wonderful man. Very active in his local community right up till the last year of his life, he was 92 when he died. All his friends he had made and kept throughout his life and career weren’t allowed to be at the funeral. 92 years of being nothing but a good honest hard working and caring man and his funeral was socially distanced with only 15 of us there. Disgraceful.

And I know there will be thousands more people who have suffered this too.

jenkel · 04/12/2021 21:31

I’m fortunate that compared to some mine are quite minor.

Taste and smell

And 17 and 19 year olds that have lost so much confidence, in fact been really quite worried about the 17 year old.

bloodywhitecat · 04/12/2021 21:31

@HyggeTygge1

I am so sorry, hospital visiting and covid are really shitty aren't they.

GreenLunchBox · 04/12/2021 21:33

@TattyDevine

One last thing, it took my pride for my country of birth. I used to love it, now I will go there only for my parents funerals when the sad day comes and never again after that.

Why is that?

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