Oh My GOD I’m so embarrassed!! Please tell me you’ve done something similar 😭

[Visitors]

Went to visit DH’s aunt and uncle earlier, we only see them once or twice a year. Lovely people but a little dry and very slightly eccentric.
We arrived, they opened the door, we were probably slightly too ebullient with the ‘hello’s’ and ‘lovely to see you’s’ and I went ahead to uncle and said

‘Ah and look at you with glittery jumper on!!’

They both looked at me really oddly and as soon as I said it I could see that actually the ‘glitter’ was an awful lot of dandruff on his dark jumper.

How I didn’t vomit with shame, I literally stopped breathing. Nothing was said but I genuinely felt weak as I followed them into the lounge.

I then spent the next hour with burning cheeks and desperately trying not to look at the dandruff on his jumper.

Please tell me you’ve done worse…I feel I’ll just thinking about it now 😥😢

I've done the same as PPs - in Boston USA, where I made some remark to the bride next door who left for church with her father: "Oh, so you also travel to church with your dad"

It was of course the groom, and funnily enough they didn't talk to us much when they returned from honeymoon - can't think why

Larger lady at work, had minor car crash on her way in, said she hadn’t been hurt. Me: “Do you still feel a bit wobbly though?”

Years ago, I was at some play group thing. Lots of mums, all of us with babies, some with slightly older kids and some pregnant again.

Anyway, one woman who was pregnant was discussing names for her soon to be arriving baby girl. Someone suggested Charlotte or Isabel and for some reason I said 'ha ha ha, Charlotte the harlot and Isabel Jezebel.'

Well you could have heard a pin drop as another woman sat with us called her twin daughters over ..

Yep - little Charlotte and Isabel

One of the best ones on here I ever read was the woman at the dentist getting some treatment, the dentist said “suction” so she put her lips around his finger and sucked, not realising he was actually asking the dental nurse for the piece of equipment used to suck away fluids 😆

Colleague I didn't know well married a man 30 years older than her.I had never met him and didn't know her very well. Wedding photos being shown around ...Oh you look lovely walking into the registry office with your dad. He looks so proud.Nope that was a picture of her and her new husband walking out of the registry office as newly weds. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole.

But what else would you think? I'd understand if somebody looked a whole lot older than they were, but when they actually are 30 years older, what on earth are people going to assume other than they are the parent rather than the spouse?

Surely, if you marry somebody very easily old enough to be your mum or dad, it goes with the territory that people who don't know them/both of you together will naturally make that obvious assumption? Just like if you were 28 and had a 4yo little brother, no passing acquaintance seeing the two of you together wouldn't assume that he was your son?

I did the thing where you ask when someone’s baby is due and they aren’t pregnant just overweight and/or bloated.

@Row1n
Tesco boots 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@MrsMadderRose
William Shatner 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I've done so so many, the worst must be "I love the haircut! It really suits you" to my neighbour who reminded me she had cancer and all her hair had fallen out

I also have many instances of inappropriately laughing at things people have said that I mistook for a joke or the accidentally hilarious way a few people have told me a sad story.

Oh these are great. I have ADHD and sometimes ( often ) don’t think before I speak so empathise. Here’s mine-
I’ve told this one on here before I think-

It was just after Christmas, before New Year’s Eve in 1996/7 so I was 18/19 and was in the queue for customer services at M & S, it was heaving and some people were chatting to those around them.
One lady started talking to me, looked at my stomach and asked when I was due. I still to this day don’t know why I said I what I did which was “November” 11 months away.
We didn’t speak after that and I hate going in that queue now.

Second one-I got a taxi home from somewhere a few years ago, it was daytime and I was definitely not drunk. I paid and as I got out instead of saying Thank you to the driver I said “I love you”

I’m such a tit.

Maybe not ha ha funny but a few years ago had a group of friends over for the evening. Male friend came alone as his wife had a headache. I said oh probably best she avoids us noisy lot. She's been deaf for most of her life and I've known them for years!

Some years ago, we were decorating our tree MIL was in out house, watching us- I then pick up a decoration that I haven't seen before- not sure how it was in my decorations bag- it is the ugliest piece of decoration- I said what is this ugly thing doing in my lovely decoration bag- awkward silence- then I go ahead and take the piece holding up showing to all and saying -look at this, where did this come from ugly thing and MIL says quietly 'coming from me' - OMG I was so embarrassed then all night trying to make up for it LoL

This was said to me.
Hideous NDN having building work done to his house, all on the cheap. He said ‘you go down to west street and pick up the illegals, pay them £50 a day and give them lunch. You really want the (insert particular nationality)…..they work like animals’.
I replied ‘I’d stop their DH is that nationality’
It didn’t improve relations.

@Row1n

In my head I was formulating a compliment about how my friend can wear anything and make it look amazing, what I actually said was 'look at you in your Tesco boots'

Love this one 😂

Worked as a radio controller, and one particularly annoying colleague came through to me and instead of saying "go ahead" I said "go away"

He complained about it to my boss, who played it down and said I must have misspoken (which was true). He didn't say that he had pissed himself laughing when he heard me...

@MrsMadderRose

There was a thread like this once and someone had a boss/colleague or similar and had asked why the boss had a photo of william shatner on his desk. It was his wife!

Still makes me laugh every time I think about it.

That made me chuckle 🤣

One of the best ones on here I ever read was the woman at the dentist getting some treatment, the dentist said “suction” so she put her lips around his finger and sucked, not realising he was actually asking the dental nurse for the piece of equipment used to suck away fluids

Ah, yes, I remember that thread! Wasn't there another one on there, where the doctor/nurse/HCP indicated to the mum to put hands on the baby's head and tummy, to hold him still and comfort him - and she misunderstood and placed a rather perplexed baby's hands on his body in a 'can-you-pat-your-head-and-rub-your-tummy-at-the-same-time' arrangement?!

A colleague was showing me a picture of him and his wife at a wedding. I said ‘I love her fascinator’. It was her hair.

@StealthRoast

Oh these are great. I have ADHD and sometimes ( often ) don’t think before I speak so empathise. Here’s mine- I’ve told this one on here before I think-

It was just after Christmas, before New Year’s Eve in 1996/7 so I was 18/19 and was in the queue for customer services at M & S, it was heaving and some people were chatting to those around them.
One lady started talking to me, looked at my stomach and asked when I was due. I still to this day don’t know why I said I what I did which was “November” 11 months away.
We didn’t speak after that and I hate going in that queue now.

Second one-I got a taxi home from somewhere a few years ago, it was daytime and I was definitely not drunk. I paid and as I got out instead of saying Thank you to the driver I said “I love you”

I’m such a tit.

😂😂 11 months away. Id love to have seen her follow up reaction after she twigged and the conversations that went with her confusion.

I once thanked someone famous for coming to their own show. I used to work in the industry and was so used to saying "well, thank you so much for coming" to invited journalists etc. that I accidentally said it TO the act backstage when I popped into to say goodbye to him. Still think about that.

I bumped into a colleagues ex in the pub toilets, he had cheated on her and she was devestated.

She was with her friend and I was in my own as we queued. I decided to tell her she was too good for him and could do so much better. Instead I said "I told him you look like a girl that would be off with someone else", then realised what I said and began to explain that I didn't actually tell him that and was very emphatic about the fact I did not think she looked like a slag at all, making it worse with each word I said.

She burst into tears, and her friend just looked at me and said "What's wrong with you", funnily enough we never spoke again.

One lady started talking to me, looked at my stomach and asked when I was due. I still to this day don’t know why I said I what I did which was “November” 11 months away.
We didn’t speak after that and I hate going in that queue now.

She's the one who should be feeling awkward, not you. Ask a nosey question, get a fitting reply!

I went up to a male colleague who was having a chat with a few other colleagues and handed him a magazine about the engineering industry or something. I told him in a cheerful voice that it was 'something for the weekend', meaning 'oh, this looks like a dull read'. I carried on and heard them all chuckling and then it suddenly dawned on me what that meant. After that if ever I did have some post to pass to him, of any description, I waited until he wasn't at his desk then left it and ran.

The William Shatner photo comment is priceless, though - reminds me of the classic "Good grief, it's Colonel Gadaffi!" comment, at the sight of somebody's lovely new hairstyle

This was AT me not me...
My 18 yr old brother asked if I could pick him up from work.
When I arrived I couldn't see him so asked another young colleague where he was.
Colleague goes to the back of the store and shouts 'Lewis your Mum's here!'
Looks at me.
'You're not his Mum are you?' 'Nope' 'Your his sister aren't you?' 'Yep'
(Poor lad, going a deeper and deeper red, which matched his turban perfectly ) 'There's nothing I can say that makes this any better is there?!'

I am quite a bit older than my brother...but not THAT old!!!!

@rosebud5678

There was an art teacher at my daughter's school who only had one arm. Without thinking, my daughter asked him one day if he was right or left handed...

This made me lol!