Oh My GOD I’m so embarrassed!! Please tell me you’ve done something similar 😭

[Visitors]

Went to visit DH’s aunt and uncle earlier, we only see them once or twice a year. Lovely people but a little dry and very slightly eccentric.
We arrived, they opened the door, we were probably slightly too ebullient with the ‘hello’s’ and ‘lovely to see you’s’ and I went ahead to uncle and said

‘Ah and look at you with glittery jumper on!!’

They both looked at me really oddly and as soon as I said it I could see that actually the ‘glitter’ was an awful lot of dandruff on his dark jumper.

How I didn’t vomit with shame, I literally stopped breathing. Nothing was said but I genuinely felt weak as I followed them into the lounge.

I then spent the next hour with burning cheeks and desperately trying not to look at the dandruff on his jumper.

Please tell me you’ve done worse…I feel I’ll just thinking about it now 😥😢

I admired a colleagues new short cut and bright red hair colour but remarked that they had messily applied it as it had stained her ear. It was a birthmark.
A guy I was serving at the bar had what looked like a random bit of black thread about to go into his mouth. He said it was attached to a mole and hurt to pull out. I mean I have one random hair that keeps growing on my neck and I have to let it grow so I can pluck it so I understood but it looked so out of place and not like a hair. He said everyone points it out. Maybe he uses it as a conversation piece. 8

Ex-DPs friend once came over and his face looked so terrible I instinctively said, "Oh god, what happened to your face?!". Nothing had happened, he'd just shaved his beard off.

There was a thread like this once and someone had a boss/colleague or similar and had asked why the boss had a photo of william shatner on his desk. It was his wife!

Still makes me laugh every time I think about it.

Ah well! Maybe it will encourage him to buy some head and shoulders ahead of your next visit!

I've done something similar. Talking about baby names with my mother in law, she suggested Phyllis. I replied something along the lines of no way, sounds like syphilis (which to be fair it does).....then I remembered that her mother's name is Phyllis.

Was a bit mortified but DH thought it was hilarious.

• Hope I haven't offended any other Phyllis's out there!

Left knickers drying on the radiator, forgot agent was showing a potential buyer round.

These are brilliant. I can’t stop laughing 😂

Tesco boots 😂😂😂😂

When I was about 16 I shook hands with someone and asked, jokingly, if they were a mason as they’d folded a couple of fingers away, or so I thought. Turned out they’d lost the fingers in an accident. I still think about it three decades later.

Talking to a right show off colleague about her returning to Edinburgh having last been there as a 26 year old, I heard the words “oh, so some time ago?” Come out of my mouth totally unbidden. She paused, stuttered and we carried on but I notice she always seems to glare at me now on our teams meetings. Oops

My colleague was talking to a customer, asking where he'd been last time she rang him. He replied that the dog has lost his leg and she said the poor thing will get used to it, knoy for him to tell her it was his dad, not his dog.
A new girl was talking about a rep from work saying "he's that little fat bloke with the red face ". The other girl in the office told her that he was her dad.

Driving home with a neighbour one day , picking up his daughter and her friend from school when he remarked on the dozy old man in front who didn't seem to know what the hell he was doing and her friend said "that's my grandad.

I was standing in a queue in our local shop not realising there was a free till at the next checkout. A local gentleman who I was stood behind gestured towards it as he was busy sorting something with the cashier. I turned to him and said " I didn't realise that one was open, I must be blind".
The gentleman in question is partially sighted.

@amusedbush

I’ve done the whole ‘wow, don’t you look fancy! Do you have a hot date? ’ thing and it turns out the person is going to a funeral… twice. To the same colleague a year apart.

How about actually going to a funeral and saying to the daughter of deceased 'So lovely to see you after all these years how are you?!' She glared at me and said 'well I've been better'

To this day I don't know why I greeted her like it was a wedding!!

@DwightShrutesgirlfriend

Went to a friend's housewarming, she'd bought a house to do up. My DH said "I bet you can't wait to get rid of the awful wallpaper in this room". Yes, it was the only room she had decorated.

Similar one. School Mum asked how we were settling in to our new house. I said we'd been decorating and had at last got rid of the dreadful decor in the living room. She had been the previous owner.

Many years ago my sister was getting married and I drove her to the beauticians to have her make up done (she did mine). Was waiting for her by the reception when a young woman came in - with quite a visible moustache/bit of facial hair. She came up to the receptionist who said "oh you're here for the electrolosis right?" and she replied "no, I'm here to pick up my mum". it was horrendous.

@MrsMadderRose

There was a thread like this once and someone had a boss/colleague or similar and had asked why the boss had a photo of william shatner on his desk. It was his wife!

Still makes me laugh every time I think about it.

🤣🤣🤣

Oh God we have all done this.

My childminder had someone in her house who looked just like her "oh is this your mum?"

No. It was her sister. I could have died

29 years ago my friend came round after an operation. I opened the door and I cant explain why but I said "Hello Teeth".

The operation was to remove all her teeth. We didn't mention what I said but I still cringe almost 3 decades later.

@devuskums

29 years ago my friend came round after an operation. I opened the door and I cant explain why but I said "Hello Teeth".

The operation was to remove all her teeth. We didn't mention what I said but I still cringe almost 3 decades later.

Lmao 😂

I mixed up my words when finishing up with a customer. I meant to say in response to their 'thank you' either 'You're welcome' or 'No problem'. Instead I said 'No Welcome'.

@MrsMadderRose

There was a thread like this once and someone had a boss/colleague or similar and had asked why the boss had a photo of william shatner on his desk. It was his wife!

Still makes me laugh every time I think about it.

😂 this is utterly brilliant 🤣

when both our sons were 3 and just about to start nursery (woohoo freedom! thinks me).

Friend announced her 3rd pregnancy, “Oh no!!” was my reaction. Followed up with profuse apologies and congratulations

This was my dad, not me, but said to a neighbour’s elderly mother “can I take your hat too?” when collecting up coats. It was (quite obviously to me) a wig.

Yeha that's bad

William Shatner

😂

At my brother"s wedding I met his wife's family for the first time.

I was trying to make small talk before the wedding

.

Was introduced to her sister and then said 'oh you must be bride's dad' to the man next to her. No it was her husband!!

I was mortified

I got into the lift with the HR director this week. Thought I should make some small talk so I asked her how old her baby was now. She look at me like I was mad. Of course she has no baby. Not sure where I got that from