Oh My GOD I’m so embarrassed!! Please tell me you’ve done something similar 😭

[Visitors]

Went to visit DH’s aunt and uncle earlier, we only see them once or twice a year. Lovely people but a little dry and very slightly eccentric.
We arrived, they opened the door, we were probably slightly too ebullient with the ‘hello’s’ and ‘lovely to see you’s’ and I went ahead to uncle and said

‘Ah and look at you with glittery jumper on!!’

They both looked at me really oddly and as soon as I said it I could see that actually the ‘glitter’ was an awful lot of dandruff on his dark jumper.

How I didn’t vomit with shame, I literally stopped breathing. Nothing was said but I genuinely felt weak as I followed them into the lounge.

I then spent the next hour with burning cheeks and desperately trying not to look at the dandruff on his jumper.

Please tell me you’ve done worse…I feel I’ll just thinking about it now 😥😢

Very impressive quick retort!
I am known for being quick witted. I only ever do it to people who deserve it though. This guy has a big schnoz and y'know what's good for the goose and all that. 🤷🏿‍♀️
To be honest I did laugh and act all.breezy but my feelings were genuinely hurt. I used to chat and exchange stories with him so when he was so rude about me in such a glib manner it really baffled me. I was polite and pleasant to him afterwards but yeah it wasn't the same anymore. Sorry for waffling

I know someone who went to a job interview, was offered tea, to which she said yes. Milk or lemon? She was bamboozled and said 'both'

She was young

What did they used to say"

^

Weeps 😅

I have one...

Years ago I came home from school and walked in to the house to see my mum and her friend sitting at the kitchen table. The friend had her back to me so I couldn't see her face. Mum sat there looking glum so I breezed in giggling and said "hello, what's up with you?" Mum said "Margaret's a bit upset, can you go upstairs to your room so we can talk in private? Her brother died recently"

I muttered an awkward "oh" and just stood there shocked. Mum was giving me the side eye to motion to me to leave when I heard Margaret say "we don't know what to do about his ashes, we might split them up between the family so we can all have a bit of him"

I suddenly had a really strong urge to laugh, I don't know why. Tried to suppress it as I made my way out but failed and was snorting and sniggering loudly. Mum was livid. I feel awful now.

To be honest I did laugh and act all.breezy but my feelings were genuinely hurt. I used to chat and exchange stories with him so when he was so rude about me in such a glib manner it really baffled me. I was polite and pleasant to him afterwards but yeah it wasn't the same anymore. Sorry for waffling
I completely get that. I've had similar happen to me. My bil had my number saved on his phone as 5 bellies. I know this as he accidentally sent me a screenshot of a conversation we were having about present ideas.

[quote Custardcream898]@StarryNightSparkles
Please tell how you managed to join a funeral procession and a wedding 🤣 sounds like something I'd do, I'm a walking disaster![/quote]
For the funeral I seen a line of people and thought they were waiting on a bus or something. It was a hot day so thought I would stand with them on the hot side of the street rather than the shadow cold side. I was waiting for dh. I was on my phone scrolling away then I looked up and seen the horses. Thankfully by a lucky twist of fate I was wearing all black. Just to top it all off it turned out it was someone important and I ended up looking sad and Solomon on the front page of a newspaper 😂😳

For the wedding I was staying at a hotel and the bar/restaurant had to close early due to lack of staff. Fair enough no problem, then when heading to my room I walked into the ballroom and someone put a glass of fizz in my hand. That was a fab night. When people asked how I knew the newlyweds I said I worked in the office with them 😂😳 I ended up on the top table 😂

You know the saying 'who died?' when someone looks sad?
I said it to a friend that I bumped into on the street.
Her dad had died.
😬

We were out on New Years Eve some years ago, in a place where everyone dressed up in fancy dress. Group of guys sitting at a table beside us dressed as doctors in scrubs. One guy had a leg of his trousers tied up, as he was an amputee. Cue my sister, rather drunk, picking up the empty trouser leg and flapping it around saying, “Wow this is an amazing costume, how did you do that?”

Poor guy, although he was to be fair fighting back the laughter as he told her, “I only have one leg.”

I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone as mortified as my sister that day.

On a similar note I was with my old manager in a primary school doing a talk on toy safety. He was showing off a dangerous toy car that we had removed from sale (trading standards officers). He was giving it all the spiel - “because look, you could catch your fingers in here and cause a nasty injury, you wouldn’t want that to happen, we all like our fingers don’t we!”

Yes there was a girl in the class with no fingers.

I don’t think I can top that. I’ve asked my hairdresser when her baby is due (nope, PCOS). Also at work asking a person for directions to their home as I needed to visit them. Went like this:

“You know as you come through the village there’s a garage on the left hand side of the main road?”
“Oh yes, the run-down, tatty looking one?”
“Yes. That’s my garage. My house is just behind it.”

Another work call, both me and the woman I was talking to clearly bunged up with a cold.
Woman: “I think I might go to bed. “
Me: “I think I’ll join you.”
tumbleweeds

@PunchedTit4ASoul

Very impressive quick retort! I am known for being quick witted. I only ever do it to people who deserve it though. This guy has a big schnoz and y'know what's good for the goose and all that. 🤷🏿‍♀️ To be honest I did laugh and act all.breezy but my feelings were genuinely hurt. I used to chat and exchange stories with him so when he was so rude about me in such a glib manner it really baffled me. I was polite and pleasant to him afterwards but yeah it wasn't the same anymore. Sorry for waffling

'gonzo' and 'let me wash my trotters' is an elite reply, never mind on the spot! We all think of things we should have said afterwards but you actually did!!! Not sure how you were civil to him after that. You're a nicer woman than I!

@ThereWeAreThen79

To be honest I did laugh and act all.breezy but my feelings were genuinely hurt. I used to chat and exchange stories with him so when he was so rude about me in such a glib manner it really baffled me. I was polite and pleasant to him afterwards but yeah it wasn't the same anymore. Sorry for waffling I completely get that. I've had similar happen to me. My bil had my number saved on his phone as 5 bellies. I know this as he accidentally sent me a screenshot of a conversation we were having about present ideas.

Did you say anything to him? He should be the one cringeing here!

On a similar note I was with my old manager in a primary school doing a talk on toy safety. He was showing off a dangerous toy car that we had removed from sale (trading standards officers). He was giving it all the spiel - “because look, you could catch your fingers in here and cause a nasty injury, you wouldn’t want that to happen, we all like our fingers don’t we!”
That's awful... I bet she felt so self-conscious

Once told my BIL he looked bloody miserable ...... Yeah we were at a funeral.......

I once bumped into a soldier dressed in army fatigues in the supermarket and said, ‘sorry, I didn’t see you’. Worse, I then realised what I’d said and burst out laughing as he stood looking at me as if I needed help.

When I was younger I was honestly socially retarded (as in not as developed as I should've been.) This wasn't even a mistake as such- one time I met someone at a group event who had a large cyst about the size of a golfball on his head. I said

'What's that on your forehead?'

I still replay me saying that, I mean WTAF? I wasn't meaning to be malicious or anything, I just for some reason thought that was an ok thing to say?

I was 19 so not a child and I'm not full on autistic or anything (though maybe have some traits.)

@Visitors You can comfort yourself with the fact that you just made a mistake. You didn't deliberately say 'why's half your scalp on your jumper?' Or something like that, or straight-up point out that someone had a facial disfigurement/difference.

@me4real

When I was younger I was honestly socially retarded (as in not as developed as I should've been.) This wasn't even a mistake as such- one time I met someone at a group event who had a large cyst about the size of a golfball on his head. I said

'What's that on your forehead?'

I still replay me saying that, I mean WTAF? I wasn't meaning to be malicious or anything, I just for some reason thought that was an ok thing to say?

I was 19 so not a child and I'm not full on autistic or anything (though maybe have some traits.)

@Visitors You can comfort yourself with the fact that you just made a mistake. You didn't deliberately say 'why's half your scalp on your jumper?' Or something like that, or straight-up point out that someone had a facial disfigurement/difference.

Yeah, I think you might have some traits 🤦🏽

My husband said to me that our waitress was pregnant and I asked her when her baby was due. What a stupid thing for me to say to someone who I don't even know. I'm horrified that I offended that poor girl.

@GreenLunchBox Yes I know, I have some ADHD as well. But been tested and don't think I have the whole thing of either really. But people can have traits and it still be really impairing IMO.

Years ago as a teen, I was chatting away to a much older acquaintance and said, " You have one of the faces that you can tell you must have been attractive as a young man"

@Justleaveitblankthen I had one like that 'You look like Nigel Havers. He was quite attractive in his day.'

I didn't even realize what I'd done until someone else pointed it out.

I was walking past a bus stop when I saw my local councillor waiting. I stopped and we exchanged a few pleasantries about the weather, then his bus arrived, and as he boarded, for reasons I cannot fathom, when he smiled and said a cheery "Bye!" I replied, "Bye! Love you!"

I live every day in dread of bumping into him again.

When I was 10 and my sister was 19 we were on a bus together when the conductor referred to her as my mother. She was mortified!

Thanks all, I feel slightly better after reading these. I had woken early to use the loo and have been laying here cringing and cursing my stupid brain / mouth 😫😩😂

I’ve done that. “You look nice”. “I’m just home from my Dad’s funeral”. Shit.

I said “I like your new short hair cut! It really suits you!” To my sister, the first time I saw her after she’d had emergency brain surgery and they’d shaved her head. It was several months later so it was like a pixie cut, and we’re not close and I forgot in the moment due to the awkwardness. That’s pretty bad. It’s been years and she still has it short, so maybe lots of people said the same?!!

@rosebud5678

There was an art teacher at my daughter's school who only had one arm. Without thinking, my daughter asked him one day if he was right or left handed...

😂😂😂

I used to do a job that involved chatting to the public. I was talking to one lady in the lead up to christmas who was wearing a red and green jumper with black leggings. As soon as I saw her I complimented her on her elf outfit and asked if she was off to a party.

"No, it's just a jumper from Dorothy Perkins"