Things I learned too late in life

[Spiceup]

No one anywhere has ever had their life improved by me wearing high heels. I now wear comfy shoes for every occasion and life is immeasurably better. I can move quicker, get more done in a day and never miss any fun because my feet hurt or I don't have suitable footwear. I don't know what on earth possessed me for so long.

What's yours?

Compound interest means that if, say, at eighteen years old you start paying 50 quid a month into some kind of investment (say an ETF, basically a basket of popular stocks) that gives an average of 10% annual interest. Then by 38 you’ll have gained £20k on your investment, by 48 maybe £80k and by 58 maybe 220k. Your profit grows at an ever increasing speed over time as the size of your pot grows. I agree finance should be taught in schools.

People you work with are not your friends, even if they are friendly and you go out socialising with them.
A significant proportion of them would not piss on you if you were on fire.

@QueeniesCroft

it's when you leave a party without saying goodbye. it was such a revelation to learn that you don't have to say goodbye to everyone and their dog by going round the room, hugging & kissing (and I don't mean post-Covid). urgh. took forever!

now we thank the host (obviously I still have some manners), say bye to whomever is in the vicinity then go.

Things (relationships etc) are not 'meant to be'.

To focus on sharpening your social skills as much as the academic ones..else you will not be 'successful'

@Triffid1

That being a good corporate employee should not mean putting myself second. In terms of well being, success etc. took me waaaaaaay too long to learn that lesson.

Yup! 15 years in an investment bank and I am still trying to keep reminding myself that.

That I'm autistic. Would have saved years of self hatred and wondering why I was so weird

That I have ADHD too, I'm not just a failure

That men will say what they think you want ti hear to get you into bed.

That being raped at 11 wasn't my fault.

That my reaction to SA was to become promiscuous wasn't me being fucked up, its actually common for survivors.

That I deserve love for who I am, not for who someone thinks I should be.

@Timeforabiscuit

If someone asks you to do something, you can say no.

^^This.

I was brought up to believe that saying No simply wasn't an option. It took me decades to realise how wrong that was.

@OakPine

People you work with are not your friends, even if they are friendly and you go out socialising with them. A significant proportion of them would not piss on you if you were on fire.

It's a shame that you've been unlucky enough to work with people like that but that is by no means a universal truth.

They are people, they aren't defined by being your work mates, I've had quite a few jobs and never failed to find the majority of the people I've worked with to be perfectly nice and decent just like most people regardless of how you come across them. Are you giving possibly giving off the wrong vibes if you're always finding yourself in that situation?

That my husband will never change

People who think nobody cares how they look have never met my in-laws

To prioritise myself.

If you're a people-pleaser who always says Yes, people will only ever remember you for the one time you said No. If you're female, caring responsibilities will find you - even if you don't have children, someone will need looking after and the care, admin and expense will all be left to you.

That it's OK not to be liked by everyone
That it's OK to detach emotionally from people who don't treat me well
That, ultimately, we're all responsible for our own actions

-paying attention and studying /trying in school is actually a good thing
-being kind is better than being cool
-a personal planner/organiser is your friend
-be nice to your mother, even if it's hard
-make an effort to stay in touch with people
-learn a second language
-invest

@ILoveAllRainbowsx

I don't have to wear different clothes every day. I just find a set of clothes that I like and buy several sets. As long as your clothes are clean, it doesn't matter if they are the same.

The fashion industry brainwashes us and makes us feel like we can't be seen in the same thing for more than one day.

I do this. I'm short, long bodied and have huge boobs. I have one outfit I look ok in. I have multiple of each item.

Apparently Einstein dressed in the same thing to save time and mental energy!

That I'm autistic and that's why I've always found life difficult.
That I prefer living alone.
I can choose my own surname (just changed it)
That most other people have their own insecurities and aren't interested in yours
To only wear clothes and shoes in comfortable in
That I can stand up to bullies in work

@HerRoyalWitchyness

That I'm autistic. Would have saved years of self hatred and wondering why I was so weird

That I have ADHD too, I'm not just a failure

That men will say what they think you want ti hear to get you into bed.

That being raped at 11 wasn't my fault.

That my reaction to SA was to become promiscuous wasn't me being fucked up, its actually common for survivors.

That I deserve love for who I am, not for who someone thinks I should be.

@HerRoyalWitchyness

love you so much darling.
you are awesome

You shouldn't tolerate bad behaviour just because they are family. Your children are watching what is acceptable behavior and you are teaching them poorly.

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba 😘 love you too

That career success doesn’t come just from working hard, but from knowing how to ‘play the game’ I.e. building relationships with people with influence, focusing on delivering the work that will get you noticed rather than ‘busy work’,

This. Very much this. Nobody cares you're a genius doing amazing work, if you quietly sit in your corner. Yes you might get your first job based on your CV and grades and stuff, but you will keep the job if decision-making people like you.

• exercise has incredible health benefits, especially when you're middle age or older, and should be part of your day just like brushing your teeth.

• the right partner will make your life easier and more pleasant. If they are the source of most of your stress, move on.

@Cam77

Compound interest means that if, say, at eighteen years old you start paying 50 quid a month into some kind of investment (say an ETF, basically a basket of popular stocks) that gives an average of 10% annual interest. Then by 38 you’ll have gained £20k on your investment, by 48 maybe £80k and by 58 maybe 220k. Your profit grows at an ever increasing speed over time as the size of your pot grows. I agree finance should be taught in schools.

This reads like witchcraft to me

How would you get started with this in your 40s? Would it even be worth it then?

Migraines are a treatable illness that gps expect to help you with.

I've only had prescription meds for migraines from my 30's onward. I needed them from 11. What a waste of all those years in pain because my mother just dismissed them.

Also acne is a treatable condition too. We are on the cusp of seeking gp support for dd1.

They you are more than your parents opinion of you.