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Original poster

Judgey in laws

229 replies

Loudina · 02/11/2021 17:56

PIL arrived to stay for a week on Friday. Thus far I've been criticised for the following things:

  • DD (6) goes to bed too late (8pm)
  • we eat too late (6pm)
  • DD should not be allowed to watch TV after 5 as that's TV time for grown ups
  • DD talks too much and should be told to be quiet more
  • our cat shouldn't be allowed in any of the bedrooms (I keep him out of the guest room because I know PIL don't like him) but apparently it is disgusting I let him in DD's room or our room
  • I spend too much time cooking and why don't I just make easy meals
  • we eat too much pasta and rice and why can't we just have some meat and veg
  • our Halloween decorations from Sunday still haven't been taken down
  • we spend too much time on food and why do we shop at sainsbury's when Aldi is so much cheaper
  • we should not drink full fat milk, only skimmed (I bought skimmed milk specially for them)

Driving me crackers. DH is at work when I expressly asked him to take time off. Apparently he didn't ask in time. I'm sure he did it on purpose but apparently I can't complain as I was happy to have them to stay. So tempted to just go out on my own tonight and leave them all to it.

OP posts:
AllThingsServeTheBeam · 03/11/2021 19:56

@ldfdyjxzyjkv

I have to get a better hobby.
At least you realise
RandomMess · 03/11/2021 20:01

I am so glad you had a day out and a break from them!

When do they leave, it sounds miserable tbh.

ldfdyjxzyjkv · 03/11/2021 20:06

To be clear I back everything I have said but can’t see the point of trying to convince you all. Agree to disagree and all that. Good evening and good luck OP.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

6 year olds Families
mbosnz · 03/11/2021 20:08

@ldfdyjxzyjkv

To be clear I back everything I have said but can’t see the point of trying to convince you all. Agree to disagree and all that. Good evening and good luck OP.
I believe it's 'Good Night and Good Luck.'

Cheers.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 03/11/2021 20:09

@mbosnz

and if I don't see you then good afternoon, good evening and good night!

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 03/11/2021 20:09

@ldfdyjxzyjkv

To be clear I back everything I have said but can’t see the point of trying to convince you all. Agree to disagree and all that. Good evening and good luck OP.
So do I
mbosnz · 03/11/2021 20:13

Morena, and ka kite ano!

DismantledKing · 03/11/2021 20:23

Biscuitmonster2318

Yeah, I meant people like you.

Original poster
Loudina · 03/11/2021 22:26

They leave Friday morning!

OP posts:
RandomMess · 03/11/2021 22:44

Last 36 hours then.

You can do this! And never again

Cocogreen · 03/11/2021 23:33

@Loudina on the home stretch now!

Justilou1 · 04/11/2021 06:01

Wow! A lot of assumptions made and a lot of rudeness towards OP. OP is quite entitled to come on here and vent her frustration about these people. Not just the rude outlaws, but her DH who broke his promise to be there for her and fucked off to work instead.
Honestly, nobody’s going to change the ways of people that age. They’re certainly not going to suddenly develop insight. Expecting that is a recipe for disappointment.
OP can (and absolutely SHOULD) draw a line in the sand with her DP though.

MzHz · 04/11/2021 08:28

@Loudina

They leave Friday morning!
Where are you going out to today? Grin
SaturdaySummer · 04/11/2021 12:15

@Loudina

PIL arrived to stay for a week on Friday. Thus far I've been criticised for the following things:
  • DD (6) goes to bed too late (8pm)
  • we eat too late (6pm)
  • DD should not be allowed to watch TV after 5 as that's TV time for grown ups
  • DD talks too much and should be told to be quiet more
  • our cat shouldn't be allowed in any of the bedrooms (I keep him out of the guest room because I know PIL don't like him) but apparently it is disgusting I let him in DD's room or our room
  • I spend too much time cooking and why don't I just make easy meals
  • we eat too much pasta and rice and why can't we just have some meat and veg
  • our Halloween decorations from Sunday still haven't been taken down
  • we spend too much time on food and why do we shop at sainsbury's when Aldi is so much cheaper
  • we should not drink full fat milk, only skimmed (I bought skimmed milk specially for them)

Driving me crackers. DH is at work when I expressly asked him to take time off. Apparently he didn't ask in time. I'm sure he did it on purpose but apparently I can't complain as I was happy to have them to stay. So tempted to just go out on my own tonight and leave them all to it.

I hope you've got a lovely bottle of wine and a bubble bath waiting on you for their much needed departure!!!! You're a saint to put up with that, it's not easy when it's in laws and not your own family. You're almost free Smile
sillysmiles · 04/11/2021 12:52

[quote ldfdyjxzyjkv]@Graphista and others - you all come across as hysterical (oh yes misogyny, lucky I am a radical feminist), dramatic, self obsessed and completely lacking in class. People who have confidence would have no problem with behaving reasonably in the OPs circumstances (and it sounds like she is, although personally I would have tried to ‘give’ a bit more). That there is something so offensive about respecting your husband’s family, you all have bigger problems that the people who disagree with you in this thread.
I am not a MIL - simplistic MN thinking, oh anyone who doesn’t echo back your view must be the enemy. How do you people function as adults, you must spend all day jumping at shadows and engineering opportunities to assert yourselves. Build your own confidence first - that is feminism.[/quote]
How is the OP disrespecting her husbands family?

sillysmiles · 04/11/2021 12:56

@Loudina It's Thursday lunchtime now, you are nearly there.

JustRambling · 04/11/2021 13:02

Biscuit
You make very good sense. It’s a pity other posters haven’t taken the time to read your posts carefully.

londonmummy1966 · 04/11/2021 13:18

I think that the issue you should bear in mind is that the way they parented etc created a DH whom you suspect has deliberately has scarpered off to work to avoid them. So they weren't very successful at it! Just bear that in mind every time you find yourself gritting your teeth - it might make you smile instead which will no doubt be better for you.

Then when they leave make it abundantly clear to your DH that they will not be coming to stay again unless he has booked his leave in advance. Failure to comply will end up with you and DD going to stay with your mum for the duration!

mbosnz · 04/11/2021 13:20

@londonmummy1966

I think that the issue you should bear in mind is that the way they parented etc created a DH whom you suspect has deliberately has scarpered off to work to avoid them. So they weren't very successful at it! Just bear that in mind every time you find yourself gritting your teeth - it might make you smile instead which will no doubt be better for you.

Then when they leave make it abundantly clear to your DH that they will not be coming to stay again unless he has booked his leave in advance. Failure to comply will end up with you and DD going to stay with your mum for the duration!

And the cat. Don't forget poor Tiddles!
LoislovesStewie · 04/11/2021 13:25

@JustRambling

Biscuit You make very good sense. It’s a pity other posters haven’t taken the time to read your posts carefully.
I don't see how any of the comments to the OP can be viewed as anything other than criticism. Asking a question along the lines of 'I hope we aren't preventing you and LO taking part in your usual activities' is one thing but not constant carping about bedtimes/mealtimes etc. That is surely criticism.
ColinTheKoala · 04/11/2021 13:27

And I have also told DH in no uncertain terms that if they come and stay during the week again, he's to book the time off before confirming with them. Lesson thoroughly learned there

I can't believe that men think it's ok to swan off to work while their family visits. If my mum came, I would take the time off to be with her, but I wouldn't expect DH to. And definitely not instead of me!

I wouldn't have known what to do with my in-laws if they'd visited when DH wasn't here.

blacksax · 04/11/2021 16:23

@JustRambling

Biscuit You make very good sense. It’s a pity other posters haven’t taken the time to read your posts carefully.
Oh I have - and just to make sure, I just read them all again.

I still disagree.

BorderlineHappy · 04/11/2021 16:31

If you are a guest in someone elses home you fit in to their life
You dont criticise or offer unwanted opinions.

You muck in,cook dinner,offer to babysit.
And you dont pass comments on the hosts.

user1471538283 · 04/11/2021 17:09

I bet they think that they are easy going! When my DM came to visit I had to get particular food in for her because she couldnt just eat what everyone else had. I think it was an attention thing.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 04/11/2021 17:33

@JustRambling

Biscuit You make very good sense. It’s a pity other posters haven’t taken the time to read your posts carefully.
Really?