Judgey in laws

[Loudina]

PIL arrived to stay for a week on Friday. Thus far I've been criticised for the following things:

• DD (6) goes to bed too late (8pm)
• we eat too late (6pm)
• DD should not be allowed to watch TV after 5 as that's TV time for grown ups
• DD talks too much and should be told to be quiet more
• our cat shouldn't be allowed in any of the bedrooms (I keep him out of the guest room because I know PIL don't like him) but apparently it is disgusting I let him in DD's room or our room
• I spend too much time cooking and why don't I just make easy meals
• we eat too much pasta and rice and why can't we just have some meat and veg
• our Halloween decorations from Sunday still haven't been taken down
• we spend too much time on food and why do we shop at sainsbury's when Aldi is so much cheaper
• we should not drink full fat milk, only skimmed (I bought skimmed milk specially for them)

Driving me crackers. DH is at work when I expressly asked him to take time off. Apparently he didn't ask in time. I'm sure he did it on purpose but apparently I can't complain as I was happy to have them to stay. So tempted to just go out on my own tonight and leave them all to it.

If I were you I would go off somewhere with your DD for a few days until they are gone, as it sounds as though she is at the recieving end of the criticism too.

I think it’s reasonable to make sure food is available to them if they’re hungry earlier, but to still make dinner at the time you normally would, or meet in the middle somewhere just for now.

On everything else though I do feel your pain.
MIL is the same. It’s just so relentless. It’s just saying something for the sake of speaking half the time I think. And the other half the time she thinks she’s helping us, I’ve asked how she thinks we cope when she’s not there, and requested that unless she thinks we may die without her ‘advice,’ that she keep it to herself. Obviously to no avail

Definitely don’t have them to stay again unless DH has the time booked off. And definitely just go out!

Say you had plans already and assumed it would be ok as obviously you believed DH had booked the week off work to spend with his lovely parents.

I'm taking her out tomorrow with friends. God knows what they'll do but not my problem.

They will probably reorganise your kitchen drawers while you are out.

What delights they are. I'd be pointedly saying, when MIL pointedly asks, about how often DM has been there, how supportive she is, and how she blends in with the family when she's there.

And most probably slamming the door as they leave, and bellowing 'WANKERS' in celebration.

Do your most kindly voice.
I've noticed you really aren't very happy with the way we do things. I won't be at all offended if you'd like to leave early.

Can you say something to them? Christ id snap at that!

Dd is 2 and we eat dinner at 6pm and she goes to bed at 7:30/8pm. Flip who eats dinner at 4:30?

I'd pretend to be a bit hard of thinking and interpret it as them offering help more

Dinner too late? Why how kind of you to offer to cook so we can eat earlier. Child goes to bed too late? Ah that's lovely you want to do bedtime with DD so she can be in bed a bit earlier. So kind of you.

If they're bothered by your cat going into the bedrooms, they'd be horrified by mine - I currently am in bed (different time zone) and have a cat tucked up under my arm under the duvet

@Loudina

Oh also we get up too late (DD and I both up, breakfasted, washed and dressed by 9.15am). PIL by 8am.

I wonder what would happen if you smiled brightly and said "Oh well, you know what they say! When in Rome!" after every bit of criticism.

And for good measure say "Oh MIL, I understand completely! A week is certainly is a long time to try and adapt to the customs of a different household."

Also, "It's difficult to do things so differently than you are used to at home. That's why we always limit our visits with others to 3 days."

Smile, Smile, Smile while you say these things.

@mbosnz

What delights they are. I'd be pointedly saying, when MIL pointedly asks, about how often DM has been there, how supportive she is, and how she blends in with the family when she's there.

And most probably slamming the door as they leave, and bellowing 'WANKERS' in celebration.

Exactly!

"I cannot even remember how many times actually. When she is here she is so content, it isn't like having visitors at all!"

While smiling brightly!

You don’t have to put up with it.

I've told them if they don't like our routine here I won't be offended if they leave earlier. They said "oh no, you know us, we're easy".

@Loudina

I've told them if they don't like our routine here I won't be offended if they leave earlier. They said "oh no, you know us, we're easy".

No one will judge you when you kill them

A week. Good good that would send me over the edge.

Originally it was meant to be for a night, then me being me (& when I thought DH was off work) said oh that isn't very long, why don't they stay for a bit longer.

More fool me, won't happen again!!!

@Loudina

I've told them if they don't like our routine here I won't be offended if they leave earlier. They said "oh no, you know us, we're easy".

That would have been the perfect moment to say “no, you’re actually not.”

Your DH needs to wrangle them, leaving you to put up with their moans is not on!

Sorry wrong thread

Think you might have the wrong thread clockledd

You have my sympathy!
I get similar when my parents come to stay:
Don't like the food we eat
Think the house is either too hot or cold
Complain that we don't play board games every evening
Wander around the house suggesting improvements
Discussing the best way home every evening until they eventually do leave
But they are my parents and I love them and, although it's taken me years, I can now just smile and nod (and drink lots of alcohol).
I do think your husband has got off very lightly though and owes you big time!

Write yourself a list of stupid ass shit they are likely to say. Check off each one when they say it (you can do it in front of them if you like). Have a sweep with yourself about when you will get to certain points in the list - 5 items, full house. Better still put it in a grid and treat it like bingo, with prizes for yourself when you get a full house, 4 corners, a line, etc. As soon as DH comes home hand over to him. Explain why clearly if they ask why. You deserve a medal for not having run away yet!

Go out

Be out

Stay out

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

Put on the song "This is how we do it" every time he says something

hahahaha

Sounds hideous! I find the phrase "we find this works best for us" followed by changing the subject can be quite useful!

Maybe you might have a terrible migraine tonight OP and need to go and watch Netflix in bed with a cup of tea?