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Original poster

DH and his little girl - question

370 replies

FireflyLon · 29/10/2021 13:54

So my DH asked me a question today and I really didn't know what the right answer is. We are expecting a little girl 🥰 and he asked me when he has to take her to a public toilet will he take her to the men's or women's. I said women but I was thinking I've actually never seen that. What are your thoughts?

OP posts:
SausageSizzle · 29/10/2021 17:34

If women have a legal right to same sex spaces, why shouldn't a three-, four-, or five-year-old girl be afforded the same right whilst using the toilet? (And, yes, I know that with her father being there, it isn't a same-sex space, but it is her father, not male strangers).

But he is a male 'stranger' to all the other women using that space. It's not a 'same sex' space if there are adult men in it. In particular, he's a male stranger to any young girls using the bathroom on their own, without their parent present.

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 29/10/2021 17:34

My partner takes the kids into the mens if hes taking them to the toilet, he just takes them into a cubicle the same as i do in the ladies. We have a 6yr old son and 3 and 4yr old daughters.

mowglika · 29/10/2021 17:37

@FireflyLon

We have decided after all these comments that if there are no shared facilities for changing the baby and the facilities are in the ladies he will go in and announce himself where you like it or not.

NO way will he change the child in a dirty men's bathroom only because someone might feel uncomfortable with his presence.
It's also not illegal to use different gender toilets so afraid you ll have to get used to it!!!

Wow. You have a pfb and suddenly your husband is entitled to announce himself and use a single sex space. Yet another entitled man, sadly being encouraged by his hapless wife

What a pair of

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Terfydactyl · 29/10/2021 17:39

@katnyps

Also, if you're ok your maybe 5 year old daughter being around naked men in the men's, why are you not ok with a clothed man around you in the ladies? Is that a bit selfish? I'm genuinely on the fence about this one
When did the men get naked? This was about toilets right?
21stDentistryGirl · 29/10/2021 17:40

@Terfydactyl They’re all naked in the men’s toilets. That’s a given.

Terfydactyl · 29/10/2021 17:43

@Blossomtoes

It's privacy for women when they are going through like miscarriage, heavy periods, or incontinence after birth. All these things sometimes need to be taken care of in public washrooms

In cubicles. The cubicle is the private space. It’s completely illogical to exclude men with small daughters from women’s loos entirely.

Jesus, we allow men on maternity wards 24/7, then lose our shit about this. There’s absolutely no logic.

We never used to allow men on maternity wards 24/7 I have no idea when this came in and I'm glad it wasnt a thing when I was on a maternity ward.
ejhhhhh · 29/10/2021 17:45

Given the OP's posts have got more and more ridiculous, I concede that the PPs must be right, no way can this be real!

ThePoisonousMushroom · 29/10/2021 17:47

The OP is blatantly a man who wants to tell women how wrong they are for not wanting adult males in their toilets.

refusetobeasheep · 29/10/2021 17:47

wow, this determination for female only toilets to be dismantled is gaining pace isn't it? First we have to stop them as it's unfair to men who identify as women, now it's because fathers can no longer do what they have done for generations (take their little DC into their own sex segregated toilet) .. wonder what the next reason will be?

I wonder why there's such a determination to do away with female only spaces?

ThePoisonousMushroom · 29/10/2021 17:48

I really do wonder why some men are so desperate to use women’s toilets though.

mbosnz · 29/10/2021 17:48

@refusetobeasheep

wow, this determination for female only toilets to be dismantled is gaining pace isn't it? First we have to stop them as it's unfair to men who identify as women, now it's because fathers can no longer do what they have done for generations (take their little DC into their own sex segregated toilet) .. wonder what the next reason will be? I wonder why there's such a determination to do away with female only spaces?
Can't think. . . it's almost like there's a clear agenda. . .
justmetoday · 29/10/2021 17:55

I take DS to the ladies and DH takes DD to the mens. Would have never occurred to us that he should take her to the ladies

Simonjt · 29/10/2021 17:58

@katnyps

So... a child without a choice should see male genitals on display so that others don't have to see a man in clothes, accompanied by a child (so, clearly not threatening)? I'm actually not advocating one way or the other - actually not sure what is better! Just trying to work out why that is the best arrangement given the options (it's clearly a less of two evils problem).
Why are you dangling your child over the top of urinals to look at genitals?
Simonjt · 29/10/2021 18:04

[quote 21stDentistryGirl]@Terfydactyl They’re all naked in the men’s toilets. That’s a given.[/quote]
We twerk naked and have piss fights obviously

Joystir59 · 29/10/2021 18:06

How come men's toilets don't cater for father's? It's a bit ridiculous in this day and age

Simonjt · 29/10/2021 18:09

@Joystir59

How come men's toilets don't cater for father's? It's a bit ridiculous in this day and age
New toilets have a baby change, but older ones don’t, toilets aren’t refurbished very often, so it isn’t surprising that a large number don’t have a baby change.
Hen2018 · 29/10/2021 18:11

@FireflyLon

We have decided after all these comments that if there are no shared facilities for changing the baby and the facilities are in the ladies he will go in and announce himself where you like it or not.

NO way will he change the child in a dirty men's bathroom only because someone might feel uncomfortable with his presence.
It's also not illegal to use different gender toilets so afraid you ll have to get used to it!!!

Well, what a couple of wankers you are.
WTF475878237NC · 29/10/2021 18:11

If men's bathrooms are too filthy for small children, men need to do something about this. Even if it means arming themselves with antiseptic wipes and spray and cleaning toilet seats themselves.

^ this is a big part of the issue isn't it. Men's toilets are so gross basically no one wants to use them! It isn't our problem as women though. Family changing is the answer - in addition to single sex toilets.

lavenderlemon · 29/10/2021 18:12

My dh takes our daughter into the men's if there isn't a disabled/baby change toilet available.
She's 4 though so I think he will have to stop soon and start knocking on the ladies and taking her in there 🤷🏼‍♀️

ToadInTheGoal · 29/10/2021 18:13

@FireflyLon

We have decided after all these comments that if there are no shared facilities for changing the baby and the facilities are in the ladies he will go in and announce himself where you like it or not.

NO way will he change the child in a dirty men's bathroom only because someone might feel uncomfortable with his presence.
It's also not illegal to use different gender toilets so afraid you ll have to get used to it!!!

That's great. Hopefully this will catch on just in time for your DD's time in secondary school. She will love it.

FazedNotPhased · 29/10/2021 18:15

She's 4 though so I think he will have to stop soon and start knocking on the ladies and taking her in there

No he won't Confused

Biancadelrioisback · 29/10/2021 18:19

@FireflyLon

We have decided after all these comments that if there are no shared facilities for changing the baby and the facilities are in the ladies he will go in and announce himself where you like it or not.

NO way will he change the child in a dirty men's bathroom only because someone might feel uncomfortable with his presence.
It's also not illegal to use different gender toilets so afraid you ll have to get used to it!!!

What if your next child is a boy? Will he still use the female toilets?
ImInStealthMode · 29/10/2021 18:24

A bit older but when I was 5+ my Grandad used to take me to museums etc just us two. He'd wait outside the Ladies and if there was a Mum with kids going in (usually was in busy family places) he might ask if she'd mind keeping an ear out in case I locked myself in the cubicle or whatever.

This was in the 80s though...

Bambooshoot · 29/10/2021 18:28

Quite frankly, if before my child had even been born, my partner was thinking about how best to force his way into women’s toilets, as though the baby was somehow a golden ticket and let’s ignore the actual women’s feelings about his presence - well, I’d be seriously wondering who I’d partnered up with and why they were so ready to dismiss women’s privacy to suit themselves. But I can see that is not a question that is easy to face.

ThePriceIsNotRight · 29/10/2021 18:29

‘We have decided after all these comments that if there are no shared facilities for changing the baby and the facilities are in the ladies he will go in and announce himself where you like it or not.’

Not necessarily on the last part. If you decided to try that in the establishment I work in, he would be pulled up and asked to use the correct toilet, or you’d all be welcome to leave.