At home all inclusive

[puginamug]

My friend's holiday has been cancelled at the last minute.

She is coming to stay with us or a couple of days instead.

I wanted to recreate the all inclusive experience for her, but I've never been on one!

What should I include.

I'm thinking buffet breakfast, lunch and drinks on the work surface.

It's more a gesture than anything else so can be as silly as you like!

Make sure you put towels on all seats so there's no where to sit.

Maybe a themed evening, like tapas and paella if she was going to Spain, accompanied by cheap local wine. Entertainment and karaoke!

Oh how lovely are you!
Cocktails with flowers in. Choc s on the pillow.
Yes to karaoke and a terrible band!

@Pheebs2021

Make sure you put towels on all seats so there's no where to sit.

Cheap bottles of premixed cocktails available from 11am

All the food in a home buffet warmer to help themselves

@Trying81

All the food in a home buffet warmer to help themselves

And left there all day for a traditional dose of food poisoning.

Turn the heating up so you can wear summer clothes and put on suncream so you feel like you are on holiday.

Dance round your living room to the Macarena and similar songs every evening.

make lots of unidentifiable food. Sprinkle laxatives on it. Water down all your drinks and make a big pot of really terrible bitter coffee every morning, and only leave her 2 mini pots of UHT non-milk-fat creamer

If you are being upmarket, put a towel sculpture and chocolate on her pillow.

Decant cheap spirits into branded bottles

Invite some children around to touch all the food before you eat it

Breakfast there's normally wide choice with english breakfast, freshly made pancakes with nutella or similar, lots if fresh fruit, croissants, breads etc, fruit juices, hot chocolate, tea, coffee.

Generally 24/7 snacks available, normally burgers and hot dogs

Lunch buffet with things like salads, burgers, hot dogs, sometimes eaten by pool, lots of fizzy drink, very cheap wine. Normally you hear the entertainment music and something like water volleyball or beach volleyball is on as entertainment or yoga aqua aerobics, later its bingo or quizzes with a prize of something like prosecco.

Evening meal, can be restaurant service and normally themed like Italian, Spanish, Indian, Greek and you chose on arrival and make you reservation on a sheet. Or can do another buffet a bit fancier than lunch one.,

Unlimited drinks including cocktails with almost no alcohol in them. Towels made in towel swans in bedroom. Disco in evening or loud music and quiz,

Could also decorate or try to create trips out. If you know hotel look on their website for clues

Write a menu of events for the next day and put it on her pillow with a choc and a bottle of water next to her bed when you do the turn down (turn on bedside lamp, fluff pillows and turn down a corner of the duvet an hour before bed)
Try and do a mini home spa event
Cocktails with umbrellas
If you have a kiddie paddling pool, set up an chair with a towel so she can put her feet in
Snack basket on the kitchen counter
Three meals with waiter service…you could have a funny hat to put on to be a waiter and serve, then pull it off and sit down to eat with her

You are a nice friend

Suggest a trip out that she must pay an extra fee for. You have to organise the transport or drive. Maybe to somewhere local and diverting but slightly naff. A Christmas grotto at a large garden centre or similar.

The responses are making me giggle!

I love the idea of towels on every seat when she arrives. Is she the sort to laugh at that?

I would put the towels folded up on the bed, clean dressing gown if you have a spare, bottle of water and glass in the bedroom (if you have little bottles of shampoo from a previous holiday them).

Drinks on the side is perfect, nice breakfast (doesn't need to be a buffet!) for dinner can you cook the cuisine from where she was meant to be going eg paella if Spain.

Don’t forget to tag her with a bracelet that turns your skin an attractive shade of green!

Also, chips with everything (even breakfast), drawn tattoos of each other names on your breast and spend most of your day complaining about “bloody Germans “.

That’s the ultimate All Inclusive Experience.

I think you need an egg station at breakfast with a chef with a big hat cooking eggs to order. And little bowls with that weird mix of pickled gherkins, silver skin onions and pickled carrots at all meals.
If you don’t have a pool, suggest that she takes a bath around 4pm each day. Then, just as she starts to relax get a microphone and start calling bingo numbers. Repeat 3 times in at least three different languages.

I particularly enjoy seeing people not wash their hands after the toilets and going and handling bread by hand.
Can you also leave a little bit of dried food on the plates for extra effect?

Keep an eye on your fruit bowl in case she tries to nick a banana to take out on a day trip.

@AtleastitsnotMonday
Maybe get the neighbours round to tutter in ushered tones about taking the piss by taking the banana

Yes you always get a plastic bracelet on arrival you have to keep on. Ours have always had unlimited ice cream available.

Often quite a few water pistols around, normally kids but can join in if you want.

And there is normally someone moaning they got food poisioning and you look over see them sitting in sun eating just chips and 5 ice creams with about 5 cokes then one has vomitted.

Stream Benidorm on the tv, cheesy music in the evenings and put a paddling pool in the garden. Make her fill her details on a form upon arrival and wear as mask to check in 🤣

Nb unless it's a really high-end all-inclusive the alcohol needs to be the cheapest stuff you can get from Aldi/Lidl with a lot more mixer to spirit than you think.