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Original poster

Young babies in nursery

190 replies

MadameHomais · 19/10/2021 09:42

I have been reading another thread about a six month old in nursery for around 12 hours a day.
I must admit that I am very uninformed and I didn’t realise young babies could be left at nursery for such long hours.
It made me wonder how do the nurseries manage such young babies?
I look after my ten month old grandson 5 days a week, 10 am until 5 pm and I think that is a long time for him to be away from his parents, but needs must.
I collect his cousins from school three days a week and on those days I am in bed by 8.30 pm! I am a light weight now I am in my late fifties.
I do enjoy childcare though.
I do realise how fortunate I was with my own four children. I had help from my mother in law and a sympathetic employer. I don’t recall any other friends having to use nurseries for such long hours 30 plus years ago.
I am so sorry that we live in a society where, sometimes, both parents have to return to work when their children are so young.

OP posts:

IWouldBeSuperb · 19/10/2021 09:48

chocopuffs · 19/10/2021 09:50

Have you considered that both parents may 'want' to return to work rather than 'have' to? And in some ways parents might consider nursery a more beneficial experience for their child than spending five days a week with a grandparent because of the range of activities and the socialising. I think you are being quite judgemental.

MaverickDanger · 19/10/2021 09:52

Some people want to go back to work then for their careers.

Some people don’t have a choice but to go back to work.

Aren’t your children lucky that they get free or highly discounted full-time childcare to allow them to continue their careers and support their families.

Nursery has been brilliant for my son, who is very sociable and active.

I would personally hate to put upon my parents for free childcare 35 hours per week.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3-6 months old 6-9 months old 9-12 months old Babies & sleep

Marelle · 19/10/2021 09:57

Society has changed a lot. 30 years ago you could buy a home on a single salary so it was possible to have one parent at home with the baby until school age. Working and putting your child in nursery was a choice not a necessity. People commenting “both parents may want to return to work” are just being facetious. Most people don’t have a “career”, they just have a job to pay the bills and would much prefer to be at home with their kids for a few years. Yes there are some people who want to return to work because they have a career, but they aren’t the majority.

DownWhichOfLate · 19/10/2021 09:58

Are you paid to do all this childcare? You are quite young to be retired.

daisypond · 19/10/2021 09:58

It’s not really typical to be a grandparent and do all that childminding, though, not where I live. If you’re only in your 50s, do you not work? That’s unusual too.

reluctantbrit · 19/10/2021 10:01

I returned to work because I wanted to, not because I needed (well long-term means I have a decent job and pension pot now).

DD started with 9 months, the ratio is one adult to 3 babies under 2. The room DD started was bright, airy, lots of different toys and plenty of stimulation and a nice garden. She could nap when she needed, they were very flexible with food, encouraging finger food as soon as possible. We have lovely pictures they took doing activities with her and based on how she looked when she came home it wasn't a one-off.

Nurseries aren't the hellhole some people think they are.

AnneLovesGilbert · 19/10/2021 10:01

You do an awful lot for your children. Is that what you wanted?

I wouldn’t have wanted to be away from my daughter that long and am lucky I didn’t have to. Other people have different situations and need or want different things. That’s okay.

chocopuffs · 19/10/2021 10:03

@Marelle I think, like you, I'm speaking from my own experience. I certainly wanted to return to work, and not because of a glittering career but because I liked having something that was 'for me' and personally although I adore my child I find the daily childcare relentless and boring. I wasn't being facetious - I think that is genuinely how many people feel.

FourteenthDoctor · 19/10/2021 10:03

You said yourself "needs must"

PlanetTeaTime · 19/10/2021 10:04

I think that's an awfully long time to leave your baby 12 hours I mean

I'm really surprised, is this common?

My daughter is 8 months and I'm on mat leave, this is my first baby so I'm not sure what the norm is tbh

PlanetTeaTime · 19/10/2021 10:05

@chocopuffs

Come on

Who wants to leave their child 12 hours a day!!

user1471462428 · 19/10/2021 10:05

Not everyone has family who don’t work. My parents were in their early fifties when the became grandparents and both had to work to retirement age. Most of my friends don’t have family who live locally as well.

WheelieBinPrincess · 19/10/2021 10:06

Well, bully for you.

Although I’m assuming this must be another grandchild since you don’t get on with your son and daughter in law?

We live away from our families, we have no help. I don’t even know who I’ll put on an emergency contact when the time comes. DS will go to nursery at 10 months so I can go back to work. The real kicker? I’m a nanny!! But I can’t afford to stay at home to look after my own baby, I have to put him in childcare so I can go and look after someone else’s, because we can’t rely on just DH’s salary and I earn double per month than what nursery costs. It’s fucking madness.

user1471462428 · 19/10/2021 10:06

Oh and nurseries are not torture chambers my son loves his and asks to go at weekends

chocopuffs · 19/10/2021 10:07

@PlanetTeaTime do many nurseries really provide 12 hours of care? My daughter does 8-9 and that's fine for us. Just because you wouldn't do it doesn't mean others shouldn't?

WheelieBinPrincess · 19/10/2021 10:08

And I’m not stating nursery at all, he’ll probably love it. I just think it’s nuts that I’m better off putting him in one to go and look after someone else’s baby.

NorthSouthcatlady · 19/10/2021 10:08

Parents like that are clearly a disgrace. Maybe a call to social services is needed?

Back in the real world then people needs to work and lots of companies have poor maternity policies. Your post is very judgey and smug. It’s the most cringeworthy thread l have read for a while. You are lucky to not work at your age and to have had help with your children but lots of others people aren’t

Megan2018 · 19/10/2021 10:09

Our nursery takes babies full time from 6 weeks in theory. In practice they rarely have any younger than 5 months.

My DD goes for up to 42 hours over 4 days, she didn’t start until she was 13 months as I wanted to take maximum time off, but not everyone does.

I’d never use family for regular work related childcare, I don’t think it’s a good move for anyone. I’d find it rather tragic if my own mother had nothing better to do in her retirement. But each to there own!

MissyB1 · 19/10/2021 10:14

I work in a nursery and for what it's worth I think it's sad to leave young children (not just babies) in Nursery for 12 hours a day. We are only open 9 hours a day and frankly a lot of children struggle with that - and that's not a reflection on the environment or staff or facilities. It's about young children being away from their home and primary career for long periods of time.
I totally understand some parents just don't have a choice - I used to be a single parent working in the NHS, I didn't have many choices in life at all! But some parents (and I'm not just talking about mums, most children have two parents), who do this out of choice, well I do wonder sometimes why they chose to have kids.

Yeah I will get a lot of venom for having that opinion I know, I've said it before on this forum and I know it's a deeply unpopular opinion, but I'm being honest.

southcarolina · 19/10/2021 10:15

Do you judge your children for leaving there young child with you as much as you judge parents who put children in nursery?

WheelieBinPrincess · 19/10/2021 10:17

You’re a proper mug doing full time childcare for free in your retirement, by the way.

LadyCleathStuart · 19/10/2021 10:19

My Mum was so horrified at the thought of me putting my kids in nursery before the age of 3 (I don't know why 3 was a magic number) that she ended up looking after both of them while DH and I worked - although granted we both went PT so it was only 3 days a week she had them but it was for loooong days. And hey it was free so I wasn't complaining if she wanted to do it.

After my second she was even offered to pay me so I 'didn't have to return to work' - well she got a shock when I said that I wanted to go back and also when she learned just how much she would have to 'pay' me to give up work (she is of the opinion that women cannot possibly earn good wages and only have pocket money jobs - she doesn't even have a clue what my job is).

I don't get the nursery hate. Some people want to go back to work, some people have to. Some people have to use nursery or childminders, some people use family. Some people choose to stay home with their kids. All are valid choices, none make any parent better than the other or means that some love their kids more than others do.

It's none of your, or anyone elses, business either way.

Iwonder08 · 19/10/2021 10:21

And your point is? Do you think people leave babies in a nursery because they can't be bothered looking after them? You do sound judgemental

nellly · 19/10/2021 10:21

You sound quite unpleasant and rude to be honest. Kids might be better in nursery!

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