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Original poster

My job is nothing more but a liability waiting to happen

170 replies

BlondieD · 18/10/2021 21:15

Nearly a decade ago, I took on a position within a home of nanny work. Eventually the parents went on to have another baby. By age 3, that child was displaying some issues and eventually autistim was diagnosed. By 5 adhd was also diagnosed.

This child has been a nightmare on and off. An absolute nightmare. I don't want to list the stuff that she does but working with her can get very stressful and indeed working for the family can be very stressful. There's so much duties within the home when the child is gone to school and when the children come home it can get very intense. Every day is different. A lot of the time I am putting a lot of long hours too. Last summer was an fucking nightmare. I was working 5/6 days a week and there were some weeks where I was required to pack a bag and move into to their home.

I had a day from fucking pure hell today where the child learned how to open the lock on the door and ran away while I was cleaning up smashed glass that she smashed around in the kitchen. When I discovered the door open and the child gone, I was lucky in that I found her quickly but it was so frightening. When we got home, she took off her pants and pissed in her bed.

I don't get paid enough for this. I get paid 340 pounds a week.

I think I could do so much more better working in a factory where I will get a balance in working hours and I would probably get paid more too.

Question is of you were me, what would you do? Would you give up? I am not even 40 and I felt an intense pain in my chest today and wreckimg my health isn't worth it when there will probably be easier working positions available.

OP posts:
gardeninggirl68 · 18/10/2021 21:18

hell yes....£340 for that kind of day, everyday? no way!!

another nanny job would be so easy for you, and actually enjoyable

TheWhalrus · 18/10/2021 21:18

Sounds like time to find another job to me. I'm finding it a little odd that you seem to have stuck with this one for so long given how unhappy you sound.

MrsRobbieHart · 18/10/2021 21:19

You’re a nanny looking after at least 2 children, one with additional needs, and you’re only paid minimum wage??

romdowa · 18/10/2021 21:20

For that money, I'd have quit long ago. I've no doubt that you could find something far better paid , with less stress and better conditions.

Grimbelina · 18/10/2021 21:21

This is really sad to read. You sound burnt out and the child needs more support than you can give right now. I hope you can explain this to the parents and find yourself a new position. I hope they can support their child.

Zarene · 18/10/2021 21:23

Leave!!! It sounds horrid.

I know round me nannies with any SEN expertise are like gold dust and paid way more than the usual nannying rate. You could walk into another job in a week.

IneedSocks · 18/10/2021 21:23

Take it you're not in the UK as that sounds like slave labour?

stalkersaga · 18/10/2021 21:23

Why wouldn't you just quit? Unless this is literally the only nanny employer in a 100 mile radius, you can probably have another nanny job next week for a much better rate of pay! Why are you being paid so badly? An experienced nanny is on well above min wage, before we even get into SEN experience. On top of that, no job is worth your health.

Give your notice tomorrow. There's a massive shortage of childcare right now. You can do better.

Lynne1Cat · 18/10/2021 21:27

In my opinion, that all sounds so stressful. My motto is "work to live, not live to work". Get a job that's less demanding.

Mamette · 18/10/2021 21:28

you were me, what would you do? Would you give up?

Yes. You have a lot of experience, you can get a better nanny job. Or you can do something completely different. It’s not like you’re in a golden handcuffs situation. The opposite.

This isn’t your problem, ultimately. I know that sounds cold, but you only have one life and you’ve done your time with this family.

Shalala22 · 18/10/2021 21:32

Quit quit quit. Sounds tough. Good luck!

GreenClock · 18/10/2021 21:39

Quit, yes.

They’ve probably fallen foul of NMW rules if you’re working silly hours - if guilty, they would have to pay you what they owe. If they kick off about your resignation I would pursue this matter via HMRC.

MsLizard · 18/10/2021 21:39

Bloody hell, why are you still working for them. Give notice immediately!

Lightswitch123 · 18/10/2021 21:42

@gardeninggirl68

hell yes....£340 for that kind of day, everyday? no way!!

another nanny job would be so easy for you, and actually enjoyable

This
Yogawankonobi · 18/10/2021 21:43

Get out, get a different job and look after yourself.

VladmirsPoutine · 18/10/2021 21:52

Get a different job. Kids are loose canons. They're crying out for carers right now but it's a badly paid job. Anything has to be better than dealing with that level of stress daily. At least you'll have a caseload of relevant experience in tough situations if you do want to stay broadly in the same industry.

WhereYouLeftIt · 18/10/2021 22:03

I'd have left this job long ago Sad.

£340/week - is that even minimum wage? You are being exploited. There are a lot of jobs out there right now, all of them would be better than the one you have now.

KingRoloIV · 18/10/2021 22:55

You know you have to leave, don’t second guess yourself!

NoEffingWay · 18/10/2021 23:16

If you worked a 6 day week, assuming each day was only 8 hours you made £7 an hour.
It is actually criminal what they are paying you.

If you are in London you could reasonably earn £14.49 an hour

www.nannytax.co.uk/nanny-salary-index

Original poster
BlondieD · 20/10/2021 10:55

Every day is different. Typically a work day is from noon til about 8 or 9pm at night, Monday to Friday. So that would be an average work week. School holidays and my work day is longer from 8 or 9 am til 8 or 9pm, 5 days a week. Sometimes they call on me for weekends but lately they have someone new for weekends.

I get paid a set weekly wage and I found out the name of the set up recently and it's called 'banking hours'. The set up was I will get paid a set wage every week and some weeks I will be required to work less and other weeks more and the two will cancel each other out. Only I learned the majority of my hours and weeks tips on the later hours. There's weeks when I can easily work up to 60 hours.

I'm not very happy. There's something new happening now too. The family are calling upon me more and more to stay overnights mid week. I never signed up to work like this and I never signed up to be a live in or to be available like this and to stay nights.

Then there's other issues too

  • the autistic child can be very difficult. I got a boob bitten yesterday and also my scalp was also bitten because the child wasn't happy with going to the toilet.
  • there's a teenager in the family and I get nothing more but sulking and criticism from that direction.
  • the intensity of the work load. Laundry, cooking, cleaning of the home along with the childcare.
  • I am getting a bad attitude from the parents too lately where they only see what they want to see and all they do is criticise my work and point out all the wrongs never mind about the work that is done.
  • there was a stint in work this summer that turned out to be brutal. The family went away for the week on holidays and got me to move in and take care of the autistic child who stayed at home with me. The schedule for the week for me was to get up with the child whenever she rises. This could be any time from 3.30 am. I was required to get the child ready for school and when she went to school that would be my break for the day and she would arrive home for 5 pm. It was scheduled I would work split shifts that week where I rise in the morning with the child, have a break in the day and take care of her in the evening ls til bed time and I stay the night.

From day one of that weeks schedule l, the parents ran me around. It was originally agreed that I would move in there on the Sunday evening and start the week then but when that weekend came they pulled it forward to Saturday. Then on Monday morning when the child went to school, there was a knock at the door and it was some workers. I then got a phone call from the mother to say that she forgot she scheduled some work in the house and they need me to clear out two rooms. So the split shifts that I was due to work and the breaks that I was due for the mid3of the day, literally denied because she wanted me to clear out rooms. I found that work week to be brutal. There was so much work for me. It was too much. Not only that, my heart went out to the small little autistic child. She's non verbal but she knew her family were gone and she started acting out too for the week and she was very difficult.

One of the other middle children told me yesterday that the family has another holiday booked for the mid term break next February and spring. I presume the autistic child will be dumped on me again but the parents never even talked to me or consulted with me. They just presume I am going to be free and available. I'm going through a new period in my life where I am experiencing some health issues now myself and my GP referred me to the hospital for a procedure but I am on a waiting list. What if the procedure coincides with the week they are hoping to dump their child on me again? Do they expect me to cancel the procedure and wait another year for a procedure to serve them? Do they expect me to neglect my health? The procedure will require a 24hour fast and laxatives too. Or maybe they expect me just to continue on as normal. Also my mother is aging and its likely I will need to keep my mother company more and more.

There's something not quite right with any of this. They are expecting too much out of me for too little wage.

Another reply above summed it up better than I could. I am living just to work and that's all. There has to be a better way of life and work.

OP posts:
TheWholeWorld · 20/10/2021 10:59

I get paid a set weekly wage and I found out the name of the set up recently and it's called 'banking hours'. The set up was I will get paid a set wage every week and some weeks I will be required to work less and other weeks more and the two will cancel each other out. Only I learned the majority of my hours and weeks tips on the later hours. There's weeks when I can easily work up to 60 hours

This is exploitation and it sounds like they would be falling foul of NMW law. Doesn't matter what your contract says.

Do you have records of hours that you've worked?

I'd contact some nanny agencies and see what else is out there.

inferiorCatSlave · 20/10/2021 11:04

I'd contact some nanny agencies and see what else is out there.

I'd have done this long ago - and possibly once you find a new job persue the wage thing via HMRC.

they just presume I am going to be free and available. I'm going through a new period in my life where I am experiencing some health issues now myself and my GP referred me to the hospital for a procedure but I am on a waiting list. What if the procedure coincides with the week they are hoping to dump their child on me again? Do they expect me to cancel the procedure and wait another year for a procedure to serve them? Do they expect me to neglect my health? The procedure will require a 24hour fast and laxatives too. Or maybe they expect me just to continue on as normal.

Err no - that doesn't work for me. That won't be happening.

mbosnz · 20/10/2021 11:08

Get out now. You are literally being used and abused. How dare they treat you like that?

BlackeyedSusan · 20/10/2021 11:20

They are taking the piss massively. (parent of sen children here)

user1477249785 · 20/10/2021 11:22

OP this is genuinely shocking. I promise if you leave you will be able to secure a nanny role that is easier and pays more. Did they at least pay you more for the week you covered while they went on holiday?