My job is nothing more but a liability waiting to happen

[BlondieD]

Nearly a decade ago, I took on a position within a home of nanny work. Eventually the parents went on to have another baby. By age 3, that child was displaying some issues and eventually autistim was diagnosed. By 5 adhd was also diagnosed.

This child has been a nightmare on and off. An absolute nightmare. I don't want to list the stuff that she does but working with her can get very stressful and indeed working for the family can be very stressful. There's so much duties within the home when the child is gone to school and when the children come home it can get very intense. Every day is different. A lot of the time I am putting a lot of long hours too. Last summer was an fucking nightmare. I was working 5/6 days a week and there were some weeks where I was required to pack a bag and move into to their home.

I had a day from fucking pure hell today where the child learned how to open the lock on the door and ran away while I was cleaning up smashed glass that she smashed around in the kitchen. When I discovered the door open and the child gone, I was lucky in that I found her quickly but it was so frightening. When we got home, she took off her pants and pissed in her bed.

I don't get paid enough for this. I get paid 340 pounds a week.

I think I could do so much more better working in a factory where I will get a balance in working hours and I would probably get paid more too.

Question is of you were me, what would you do? Would you give up? I am not even 40 and I felt an intense pain in my chest today and wreckimg my health isn't worth it when there will probably be easier working positions available.

Good to hear that you would be happy to work in another field OP - I hope you find something that you enjoy and where you are treated well. If you can find something for a bigger company with unions that would give you more protection in future. Have you thought about a supermarket job? Opportunities for paid overtime, better conditions than you have, and I think they are still looking for lots of staff. Good luck!

@LonginesPrime

What you need to do is give your notice. If they ask why, well you tell them about no holidays and being bitten, and being asked to do more and more and more.

OP doesn't need to explain why if they don't accept it - she doesn't need her employer's consent to resign from her job!

I know that. But it's not like she's resigning with no reasons is it!

It's the wetness and lack of backbone-ness of the "oh I'll go off sick", and the agreeing to overnights and all the rest of it, putting up with it all because she doesnt want to "fall out" with her nightmare employer. She's letting these people take advantage of her, and rather than taking the easy option of handing in her notice and leaving, she's coming up with schemes and games to go off sick.

Just deal with it.

Go to a supermarket get a Christmas job to cover yourself and hand in your notice. You really are being treated badly. I'm sure someone else would appreciate your experience.

Please don’t let this experience put you off nannying OP. You sound like a great nanny who really cares. Nanny pay should be far more than what you are getting and with paid holidays, sick leave, pension contributions etc. And definitely regular hours! Most nanny employer families are nice I promise and would never ever treat you like this!!

Most people commenting here don't seem to realise that supermarket jobs are rarely full time. You need full-time hours I am assuming. So nanny agency, join Facebook group recommended upthread to find a job, and look at factory jobs.

Hand in your notice today! This is terrible!!!!! As PP above says, go to the supermarket for xmas, you will love it! Honestly pluck up the courage now and resign ok x

@KingsleyShacklebolt she cant just hand in her notice without having another job to go to.

In my opinion, You need to contact ACAS, and ask for advice, then leave and claim for constructive dismissal.

[quote julieca]@KingsleyShacklebolt she cant just hand in her notice without having another job to go to.[/quote]
She will get another job very easily in the current climate.

Ignore. The poster has no idea of where you are and reference you’d get or how you come across or anything. Ignore

Yes I am sure she will. But her employer will I am convinced stop paying her as soon as she says she is going. She has no savings and is low paid. Even a few weeks without any pay may be enough to see her homeless.
I have been in this position of sticking out a totally shit job until I had another one. Employers need time to check out your documents, reference, police checks if relevant.

@PennyPooBags

In my opinion, You need to contact ACAS, and ask for advice, then leave and claim for constructive dismissal.

Constructive dismissal is incredibly difficult to win. Loss of annual leave and paying less than minimum wage is more realistic.

Why not post on the employment issues and legal Mumsnet boards as well OP, for advice.

@BlondieD

Vivie it can get very stressful. Every day is different. I do like where I am and its close to home but there's some conditions have declined and deteriorated over the past few years. The father is getting away more and more over nights claiming work and then the mother wants me to stay over to help and that's not an issue as such but it does take a toll on me and within my own life. Living out of bags and neglecting my own home duties and chores and laundry is not easy. I'm dreading Christmas. Last Christmas wasn't bad because we were in lockdown and people were staying in a lot. I fear this Christmas the parents will place a lot of focus on Christmas parties and it will me left holding the baby in their home while they turn around I get the impression they don't appreciate me anymore. Then they booked a holiday for next February probably thinking they can have the same set up like last summer and they never even talked to me. Going from last summer, it's a work week+ that is so so so draining.

Leave before Christmas

Go to an employment agency tomorrow.
Take anything. Literally anything. Then resign, saying you’re leaving with immediate effect in lieu of all the leave you’re owed.
Stick out a temp job for a few months while you recover and then keep an eye out for something new.

You could be free of this by Monday.

@BlondieD

I doubt I will be following up legally. I just want to leave and cut my losses and open the door for hopefully better and more meaningful employment where the conditions are better and right now even a factory job would be better. I will probably get the same pay in a factory with less stress and intensity and less hours. I am not shy of hard work and I would like to put these type of hard work into a corporate establishment and get a better pay.

You should to prevent it happening to the next Nanny

@BlondieD

Can people help me please.

I want to go to my GP and get signed off from work even of its just for a week or two.

What do you think I can say to my GP to get time off from work? I don't want to tell them that work is being too intense and though right now.

Do I pretend to have a sore back and getting off with a sore back? It wouldn't be a complete lie. I do find my back gets weak at times and a lot of stress builds up in my back.

Or I was sick in the summer time and I was referred to the hospital for some tests. Will I pretend it's connected to the summer time illness and pretend another flare?

What do you think?

I need to get breather from work and get a week or two off and then I will work on my cv and hand in a notice.

No. Just tell the truth, it's stress.

You should to prevent it happening to the next Nanny

That's not OP's problem any more than her employer's childcare issues are.

OP has no duty or moral responsibility to do anything she doesn't want to do here. She's been made to feel guilty enough for having feelings and boundaries already, so she shouldn't feel guilty about her successor going through similar - she's the victim here.

In any case, OP suing her employer for the compensation she's owed has no bearing at all on whether they'll do it again to someone else. It's not OP's job to educate them on how to treat their employees, especially since she's the one they've treated appallingly.

This is no life, it sounds horrendous for you. Plenty of places are taking on Christmas staff at the moment. Get yourself out of there, they are cruel.

Have you not got a contract with a nanny agency? How has it got this bad.

OP you owe these people nothing. Find another job asap and hand in your notice. Join Temping agencies, become a cleaner and do two pt jobs ?

If you can't get a job sign off with stress and depression. Don't make things up.

OP - it reads like this family have ground you down. If you need a couple of days to sort yourself out, id say D&V to keep you off for a couple of days.

Contact nanny agencies and see if they have any temp jobs available. If you can see you have options, that might make it easier to resign. You will be able to pick up some temp nannying work while you decide what you want to do next. It's not this or work in a factory, a different family could feel like a completely different job. Or look at nurseries, being a TA in a school. Theres so many roles you could look at.

It's too long for one placement. I don't recommend working with challenging clients for more than a year, maximum. After that it's harder to be resilient in the face of the stress.

What leaving excuse do you think I can use for a resignation? I suspect the parents will look for a reason? What do you think I can say?

I would love to say
'fuck you and stick your job and moods up your fucking ass' but I can't say that. I was doing an overnight for the past two noughts and the first night went well and then last night the child didn't sleep through the night and I had to get up with her in the early hours of the morning. 5am. That was though but what grinded my nerves was the amount of criticism from the mother this morning. I was up since 5 and I didn't even have a breakfast in my belly by 8 and all she could do was bark criticism at me. You wouldnt talk to a dog the way she barked at me this morning.

'I want to spend more time with my family' - would that work?
I don't have any young children but I do have an aging mother and I am seeing some issues setting in with her.

I want to get a job that will give me a better work/life balance and hopefully it wouldn't be half as stressful as what I currently have and I will probably get the same pay with a full time factory job with half the hours and more of a break. A factory job will see me work a set day where I will get a break and lunch in the middle of the day and more importantly clock out and go home and get annual leave.

You don’t need to give them a reason. Just say you are resigning effective XX. If you say that you expect pay in lieu of untaken holiday they will probably get the picture.

I wouldn't say anything.
I would get my last pay packet and then say I'm not coming back.
They'll never get anyone as good as you for those conditions.