I just said 'bye bye. love you lots'

[AmyDudley]

on the phone to the garage mechanic who has just done my MOT when he phoned to tell me when to get the car.

Why? Why did I do that ? he will think I am mad won't he? He already thinks I'm odd because my mileage is so low because I just pop to the shops and back in the car.

My DD was in the hallway and overheard me and was wetting herself.

Every day I find new ways to embarrass myself.

@AlCalavicci
I bet you've something to add!

I was with my teen daughter and our small dog nicknamed Woofy in the park when he went up to a very large dog who was on a short lead, so the owner definately heard me say enthuaistically 'Look Woofy, it's a big boy dog!'
Owner of the big dog turned on his heel and took his dog away from the mad woman.
Years later and daughter still points out 'big boy dogs' in the street to me.

Who is the woman & I am not technical enough to search it who went to a presentation and introduced herself as a name of another person , as I recall more senior , who was there - probably in classics - that was downright funny

It was Angela Hernandez and the whole thread was brilliant but sadly it’s been gutted by deletions now (including the OP)
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/650904-The-Least-Professional-Moments-of-My-Illustrious-Career-Please-Feel

I changed my contact details in my mum’s phone phone to read “my favourite daughter” (I have 3 sisters) and I knew Mum would never figure out how to change it. Once she rang me and I thought it was because she wanted to discuss details about our pending holiday to Europe. I answered the phone, and because she was quite deaf I had to talk loudly. Because she hated the word “fart”, I decided to very loudly answer the phone with “hello Mrs Fartybottom. How are you today”? and without giving her a chance to respond proceeded to sing very loudly and very terribly “we’re all going on a summer holiday. No more workin for a week or 2..,”
Only it wasn’t my mum. It was the police ringing on her phone to say that she had been found dead by the neighbour in the garden.

@Brollywasntneededafterall

Cleaned for a new customer a few weeks ago. Had been getting to know his dcats and ddogs... We managed some fab conversations...i had thought the man was out.. He wasn't. Cameras in every room. He was in the loft office..

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

“ It was the police ringing on her phone to say that she had been found dead by the neighbour in the garden.”

@GiantKitten - thank you - and you are absolutely right all the best bits no longer exist. Hey ho I remember it fondly - but thank you for answering - I appreciate it.

@thegreatporkchop

I changed my contact details in my mum’s phone phone to read “my favourite daughter” (I have 3 sisters) and I knew Mum would never figure out how to change it. Once she rang me and I thought it was because she wanted to discuss details about our pending holiday to Europe. I answered the phone, and because she was quite deaf I had to talk loudly. Because she hated the word “fart”, I decided to very loudly answer the phone with “hello Mrs Fartybottom. How are you today”? and without giving her a chance to respond proceeded to sing very loudly and very terribly “we’re all going on a summer holiday. No more workin for a week or 2..,” Only it wasn’t my mum. It was the police ringing on her phone to say that she had been found dead by the neighbour in the garden.

@HosannainExcelSheets

I once handed my boss a cup of tea and told her to use both hands because it was very full. I was still in mum mode. Oops.

Brilliant!! This made me laugh so much 😂😂

I had a Ddog called Basil. I also had a toddler DS with a name beginning with B. In a busy play centre I was getting fed up of chasing DS around as he'd yet again dashed off - I yelled out 'Basil, here now'! (Ddog wasn't with us obviously).
I don't know what I was more mortified about, everyone thinking I'd called my DS Basil or that I spoke to him like a dog!!

I used to have a meeting once every 3 or 4 months with a supplier. One time when he was leaving, instead of shaking his hand I absent mindedly kissed him on the cheek. ☺️

@Suzi888

“ It was the police ringing on her phone to say that she had been found dead by the neighbour in the garden.”

Hmm... I don’t think the police use the deceased own mobile phones to inform relatives of their death.

I’m agreeing with your Suzi888 !

I'd met my colleagues from the Manchester office many times before. Yet last summer at a get together, I said to one of them 'oh hi, nice to meet you'.

WTF was I thinking???

@Itwasgoodwhileitlasted

I'd met my colleagues from the Manchester office many times before. Yet last summer at a get together, I said to one of them 'oh hi, nice to meet you'.

WTF was I thinking???

To be fair, a lot of nonnative speakers say this when they mean to say "Nice to see you again". It's not that bad. Then again, the nonnative speaker DP from earlier in the thread is a more extreme example of what can go wrong between languages.

@Walkingalot karma gets back to you. Wait until your young teen tries to stop an over enthusiastic jumping dog with “Mum! Stop it now!”

This made me laugh so much! We all do it though.

I'm still cringing with embarrassment at calling my P7 teacher Daddy forty odd years ago!

Said same to pizza guy after placing my order, in front of my husband and daughter 🤦‍♀️ Never living it down 😂

I bumped into an old friend of mine who I grew up with and who was back in the area visiting. Hadn't seen her in about 20 years and turns our she hadn't heard about my mum passing away a few years earlier. So as part of catching up she asked me 'How's your mum?' I still to this day don't why I did this but in the most deadpan tone i have ever uttered I said 'Dead'. I don't know which one of us was more mortified.

Not quite the same, more of a tongue tie thing, but I phoned the kids school, looking for the number of someone who was running a club there and said, “Hi, I’m looking for X person, but I wondered if you could help me because I’m not having any sex.” I meant success! Quickly tried to save by saying, “I’m so sorry, so sorry, I meant to say that I’m not having any Sex“

I wanted to die.

I once hung up on a colleague in my [very quiet office] and loudly said, 'love you, bye!' - cue lots of laughter and several other colleagues in the organisation emailing me and asking why I didn't love them?! I just slid under my desk to hide...

@thegreatporkchop

I changed my contact details in my mum’s phone phone to read “my favourite daughter” (I have 3 sisters) and I knew Mum would never figure out how to change it. Once she rang me and I thought it was because she wanted to discuss details about our pending holiday to Europe. I answered the phone, and because she was quite deaf I had to talk loudly. Because she hated the word “fart”, I decided to very loudly answer the phone with “hello Mrs Fartybottom. How are you today”? and without giving her a chance to respond proceeded to sing very loudly and very terribly “we’re all going on a summer holiday. No more workin for a week or 2..,” Only it wasn’t my mum. It was the police ringing on her phone to say that she had been found dead by the neighbour in the garden.

Nah

@Summerhillsquare

As a child I was encouraged to wave at trains, a là The Railway Children. I still do it absentmindedly sometimes, but only really cringe when someone on the train waves back!

Nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm a train driver and I can assure you we love being waved too.

As long as you aren’t waving your knickers on a stick, it’ll be fine...