I just said 'bye bye. love you lots'

[AmyDudley]

on the phone to the garage mechanic who has just done my MOT when he phoned to tell me when to get the car.

Why? Why did I do that ? he will think I am mad won't he? He already thinks I'm odd because my mileage is so low because I just pop to the shops and back in the car.

My DD was in the hallway and overheard me and was wetting herself.

Every day I find new ways to embarrass myself.

I once blew a kiss at my son's teacher by mistake. I was aiming for my son but looked up and it seemed like I was sending it to the teacher. He was a very good looking guy and most people had a small crush on him so that made it doubly embarrassing. The mum friend I was standing with absolutely roared her head off with laughter.

Whilst starting work with a very senior well respected consultant I wanted his opinion on a patient.. "Dad can you"
... came out of my mouth, I've never lived it down.

Once greeted a rep who I'd known for years with a kiss when he was over giving out Xmas bottles to customers. Thought the person with him was his new partner so kissed her too. However she was another rep and no connection to him other than work. She must've thought we were a very friendly bunch...

DS used to answer unknown callers (presumed sales or scam calls) with a standard: "hello, Rick's Morgue; you stab 'em, we slab 'em. Dead Eye here, how can we help you?" Most people hung up.

@reiki21

These comments are so light and cheerful. I actually laughed out loud at some of them ! Been there, done that. 🤣 I lost my dear husband very suddenly 6 weeks ago and you guys have really given me a lift. Thanks so much. 💜🌹

Sorry for your loss Reiki

Growing up my dear brother gave me the loving nickname of ‘slapper’, a play on my initials SAP. Teenage brothers sigh…

One day, my dear dad asked me if I had been waking up their road at lunchtime. I responded with of course not I’d been at work all day. Ahh, that would explain a lot, he said.

Apparently he saw someone he thought was me walking up their road, so in his infinite wisdom decided to play a joke by opening the front door and shouting ‘alright, slapper!’ at the top of his voice.

The woman I believe turned and gave a shocked look before walking swiftly on!

@reiki21

These comments are so light and cheerful. I actually laughed out loud at some of them ! Been there, done that. 🤣 I lost my dear husband very suddenly 6 weeks ago and you guys have really given me a lift. Thanks so much. 💜🌹

Sorry for your loss @reiki21

I called our MD ‘baby’ once.

@Daisy829

Love this! My dog was on the park & decided to wee on the bag of footballs that the team had left in the side. Embarrassing enough until i said to the guy “oh no he’s going to pee on your balls”. I couldn’t stop sniggering to myself

This made me howl!😆

You make me feel better, my kids are always saying that I’m embarrassing 🤣🤣

@OwlIsBeingAnOwl

Can we get the MNer on this thread who sucked on her dentist's finger? That's one of my all-time faves!

Oh, thanks Owl for reminding me of that one; its one of my absolute favourites too

I answered my house phone as if I was at work quite a few times when I use to work in a clothes shop.
The best one was one of my colleagues she was admiring another customers cardigan instead of focusing on the customer she was serving. When it came to asking her customer put their card in the machine instead she the told her to put her cardigan on. The customer looked at her like she was crazy.

I was that kid that accidentally called their teacher Mum.

God, remembering it to this day still causes me physical pain.

I am a personal trainer and have been known to tell female clients “good girl” when they’ve done an exercise. I have two little girls at home and it seems a totally normal thing to say until I realise how condescending it sounds when addressing a middle-aged woman after a set of squats.

When me and siblings were young my dad said ‘look at the piggy-wiggies’ in the car, momentarily forgetting he was on a business trip with several po-faced colleagues. Makes me laugh every time I think of it

piggy-wiggies
That’s brilliant! My Dad used to call me a Piggie-wiggie! Shortened to Wiggie as I got older. I think it was a term of affection... 🤣

I said to my boss, "Tomorrow afternoon - is it ok if I have it off?"

My Mom is known as a bit of a joker and once whilst shopping in Boots saw my Dad over by the condoms and a lady stood just to the side of him, so she sidled up next to him, pinched his bum and said "don't forget I like the ribbed one's and you'll need the XL size!!" to try and embarrass him. The lady just along from him shouted "Brian how the hell do you know this woman?" and the man Brian, who was dressed simaliar to my Dad just stood there unable to speak. When my Mom realised it wasn't my Dad, she hot footed it out of Boots, completely embarrassed We have never let her live that one down, even 30 yrs later!!

A couple of months ago I was on a Teams call with a very annoying colleague who isknown for stating the obvious, and 4 other colleagues. He was really annoying me and had turned a 5 minute conversation into a boring 30 minute meeting. He said something obvious for the millionth time, so I pressed mute and so out load "no shit, Sherlock, I got that the first time you said it 25 fucking minutes ago!!" The call went quiet, I looked and noticed I had switched the camera off, not the mute button, I was mortified and mumbled " I got to go, there's someone at the door" He has never mentioned it, but I have to say conversations with him now are much quicker!!

I'm imagining @BasiliskStare as Noel Coward now! 😆

Oh I wouldn't worry. I've done that to a taxi driver and GP receptionist before. I think it's because I'm like that with partner, close family and friends, it seems second nature.

However, I once took leave of my senses and, on a tired, wet and rainy day in November, once said it on the phone to a parent. (I'm a teacher) As soon as I hung up I was absolutely mortified, but decided to call them back and sincerely apologise for my mistake. Luckily they saw the funny side!

DH ( when I was working ) once went to a junior school parents' evening alone with Ds. he sat down with DS & she knew who Ds was but , trying to be be helpful so she did not have to remember his name DH said "You can call me Daddy" - 20 years later he has not got over it

I am crying with laughter at this!

This thread is brilliant.
A friend of mine when filling in her very first job application, in the next of kin section put
Next of kin - father
Relationship- very friendly
🤣

I am ( for the avoidance of doubt ) not Noel Coward but here is one more my son remembers

He was staying with Granny and Grandpa and they like antiques so they like going to auctions. Ds was with them and my DF was examining a small painting ( which featured a topless woman - ) with a magnifying glass. My mother said - come on - time to go back for lunch & Df ( still examining ) said - hang on Marjorie , this is important. DS still giggles now.

DF claims to this day he was looking for a signature

@HosannainExcelSheets

I once handed my boss a cup of tea and told her to use both hands because it was very full. I was still in mum mode. Oops.

sorry but this one has sent me over the edge! Sitting here in tears from laughing at all of these. Hope they’ve made you feel better op!