I just said 'bye bye. love you lots'

[AmyDudley]

on the phone to the garage mechanic who has just done my MOT when he phoned to tell me when to get the car.

Why? Why did I do that ? he will think I am mad won't he? He already thinks I'm odd because my mileage is so low because I just pop to the shops and back in the car.

My DD was in the hallway and overheard me and was wetting herself.

Every day I find new ways to embarrass myself.

I'd dropped a colleague off home after she'd had some car trouble. She still lived with her parents, and they insisted that I came in for a cup of tea as a thank you. As I was leaving, they all came to the door to wave me off, and the mum shouted "Safe journey home". I shouted back "You too!". FML

My second one wasn't one that I did, but it still makes me smile, years later. We'd taken our new puppy to the vet, and we were seen by a brand new member of staff. She spoke to the puppy first (rightly so) in a very babyish, singsong voice, like most people speak to babies I suppose. She then turned to me and kept talking in the same voice. I was surprised, because it was full-on Haribo advert voice, but thought fair enough, that's obviously just the way she speaks. She did the full consultation like that.

Next time we saw her, she spoke normally - I'm guessing that she initially forgot to switch off her "talking to dog" voice when she spoke to us, so felt she had to keep going with it! (I wondered if she would have appeared on this thread!!)

I'm great for saying "And you!" at the wrong time then suffering near fatal cringe. In a restaurant the waiter says 'Enjoy your meal' - I say it. On my birthday if someone wishes me a Happy Birthday, I say it.

@RovenderKitt

a) Dentists don't get many hugs. Possibly secretly pleased.

b) Is exactly sort of thing I'd do.

In the early days of text speak I once put lol 😂 on an email to my boss. He took my colleague to one side and asked what it meant, apparently he thought it meant lots of love and I was professing my undying yearning for him amid a commentary on tax legislation .

I was at the hospital once and the wee one needed a drink. I found a nurse in a side room and she had her phone in her hand. I proceeded to ask her where I could get a drink of water from, but I was using an invisible mobile phone texting her with my thumbs while speaking out loud. Her eyes were going between eye contact and my hands. She must have been wondering what the fork was wrong with me. I still cringe and chuckle when I think back to it.

Not exactly the same, but cringeworthy just the same

I have been known to do the Paul McCartney double thumbs up unwittingly and only realise after it’s such a bad move. Unlike dropping mic signal which I still enjoy.

Sorry op this has made my day. Just spate my tea out laughing. I'm sure it won't be the 1st time they have heard things like this slip out of the phone.

@butterpuffed

Another one I did, god I embarrass myself.

The man at the Post Office counter said Hi, how's it going ? I thought he must think he knew me so i said I'm fine thanks, how are you.

He smirked and said, No that parcel, is it going first or second class.

Oh, that's mean. Surely the nice thing would be to play along and say, 'Fine, thanks. Now, first or second class?'

@hippoherostandinghere

I'm my previous job I worked as a health care assistant in a hospital ward. One night after I escorted an elderly gentleman back from the toilet I got him back into bed, turned out the light and told him "night night, love you" 😲😂 He answered, "love you too, pet"

How lovely

I once was in an interview and very nervous, they asked me a question about customer service and I said ‘cuntstomers’ went bright red and stumbled through the rest before going home to die silently

Haha bless you 😄
You made his day.

But that reminded when I worked for a lovely family for a few months as a nanny and at some point someone put the x at the end of texts communications and I started to use that in every text message between us - me, mum and dad of the child’s family— as I used to communicate much more with the dad.. I continued using X or even xx xxx at the end of the sentences without knowing that it meant kisses

Hahhaha realllyyyy !!
Some years later when I found out, I felt ashamed of myself and wished I could go back and say sorry, but time had passed and the couple divorced…:( So I just left that way…..

Shit happens… lol
I still think about it and feel sorry for it though

These are so heartwarming

He'll know what's happened of course so don't think on it but thanks for giving us all a laugh - 'Bye babe' is hilarious too!

I did the same thing. Told somebody I didn’t love that I loved them.
It was my sons maths teacher… face to face… at parents evening.
I got up, shook his hand because he put his out and said “thank you, goodbye, I love you” and then I made it worse by pointing out that I had just said that I loved him and I didn’t know why. I think I was trying to make it lighthearted but he just looked at me and didn’t say anything so I quickly walked away….
My poor son was mortified but knows that this isn’t unusual for me unfortunately.

Don't worry. I called the man who came to pump the septic tank 'sweetheart' and 'darling' and kept on doing it. His junior was crying (literally).

Only halfway through these but am crying with laughter! Thank you OP 😁

My friend was seated next to her husbands new boss at a very fancy dinner, as she chatted to him she realised that she had cut his steak into bite size pieces 😂

@Bollindger

I once said see you tomorrow Dad, love you loads. to the Managing Director of a Multi-million pound firm. He turned up for the meeting he had arranged with my boss, with flowers, chocolates and a box of cream cakes. Seems his daughter had died a year before and he was touched to hear the words , love you dad.

This brought tears to my eyes

@BigRedDuck

I once misheard an elderly customer telling me she wanted "new legs" and directed her to the counter where the "durex" was stocked

Never. Lived. It. Down. 😂😂😂😂

I was once that customer, only I was asking for Joyrides travel sickness tablets and was misheard! I stared, bewildered, as the pharmacy person gestured with both hands at the display of condoms on the counter, like an assistant showcasing a prize on a game show, and then it dawned on me what she thought I'd said.

Lol brilliant!

I used to work in a supermarket, with a cafe.
My eyes are not good at distance. My hubby used to come to pick me up around tea time, usually wearing his red (Welsh) jacket. About once a week I used to wave and call 'I'm here' to another gent who wore a red jacket and had grey/silver hair and beard, and had the same 'cuddly' physique as my hubby. He got used to it in the end.

I was at my DS1 first children’s party when he was in Nursery, for some strange reason I shook hands with a mum and introduced myself like I was at some sort of formal interview. I don’t know what came over me.

@Popetthetreehugger

I put 2 kisses xx on an email to a new head of year that I’d never met … he still won’t look at me 🤦‍♀️🤣🤣🤣🤣

Yep, me too (the Headmaster in my case). It was years ago but he never really got over it as he was such a reserved man and he just looked terrified every time he saw me.

I think it’s harmless and quite lovely! I was a GPO telephone operator back in the day. It was a switchboard out of the ark!

When the bus conductor came up to me to ask for my fare I calmly said looking up to him ‘number please’!!! 😂

My very handsome decorator (who I had never met before) arrived to give a quote and when I opened the front door I enthusiastically kissed him on both cheeks.

I just blazoned it out. He gave a very high quote...

About 6 years after I was married, I randomly answered my work phone with "hello, first name then "Maiden name" speaking". It would have been fine, only it was my Husband calling and he just went really quiet. I think he thought I was leaving him!

He didn't care either way if I changed my name or not by the way, it was my choice but I think he was thrown as I normally answered with my married surname.