I just said 'bye bye. love you lots'

[AmyDudley]

on the phone to the garage mechanic who has just done my MOT when he phoned to tell me when to get the car.

Why? Why did I do that ? he will think I am mad won't he? He already thinks I'm odd because my mileage is so low because I just pop to the shops and back in the car.

My DD was in the hallway and overheard me and was wetting herself.

Every day I find new ways to embarrass myself.

A director of my company once called a client, a lady answered, and his first words were 'hello, is that Dave?' I couldn't sit up for about a week I was laughing so hard. Luckily 'Dave' laughed along.

I threatened to put a patient and her DP into time out because they were drunk, bickering and being difficult.

They were in their late 40s.

They were not my niece who was 3.

My brain forgot that 😳

(it worked though!]

I said love you bye to my daughters head of year on the phone. She was also female 😆

Once told my former boss to hold my hand and wait for the green man before crossing a road...

He was slightly taken aback.

Haven't actually said anything but once I was laughing so hard in the office. So hard it rendered me hopeless to control my own bodily functions...

I stood up from my chair in a bid to leave the office and compose myself and farted....really really loudly 😂😂

I was once in a car with a very senior boss travelling to another office and excitedly shouted "tractor". Sat there in mortified silence but that didn't stop me shouting "cows" ten minutes later!

Maybe you should get out more

These comments are so light and cheerful. I actually laughed out loud at some of them ! Been there, done that. 🤣 I lost my dear husband very suddenly 6 weeks ago and you guys have really given me a lift. Thanks so much. 💜🌹

@Popetthetreehugger

I put 2 kisses xx on an email to a new head of year that I’d never met … he still won’t look at me 🤦‍♀️🤣🤣🤣🤣

DS1 SENCO put 2 kisses on the end of an e-mail inviting me to an online meeting.

I just giggled internally because I have done exactly the same with a client.

@reiki21

These comments are so light and cheerful. I actually laughed out loud at some of them ! Been there, done that. 🤣 I lost my dear husband very suddenly 6 weeks ago and you guys have really given me a lift. Thanks so much. 💜🌹

Hilarious. I often do this sort of thing.

On the phone to Anglian Water and ended the call by saying…
“Ok thanks, love you lots, bye”
Lost my train of thought thinking it was my husband 😂

@Hungry675tf

At work one day i was walking down the corridor and a bloke was behind me. I held two doors open for him so he could follow behind me, as you do. I did the same with the last door - and realised too late that I was essentially beckoning him to follow me into the ladies toilets. He looked TERRIFIED and quickly scuttled off to the mens toilets next door 😳

A little bit of a segue, but I treated myself years ago to a week in Vienna.

I spent the entire time going into the mens toilets thinking that 'Herren' meant 'for Her'.

I did this at the end of a teams meeting the other day, mortifying!

A friend took her two year old when she went to meet a friend for lunch. She was fidgety and wouldn't sit still, putting her foot on the table. Her mum said nicely at first " Sarah take your foot off the table please ". After being ignored a few times she said in a stern voice "Sarah, I said FOOT OFF" people were staring open-mouthed.

I have said “yes darling” to colleagues and spelled out client details in phonics in mum mode at work… no one seems too bothered

I replied to a happy birthday from my sister in law with “and to you too” this year. I put it down to my age - she doesn’t share a birthday with me!

I said 'thank you, you too' when my neighbour wished me a happy birthday. She replied ''Thank you, I'll keep that in mind for next June''.

A doctor once told me he was driving 3 other eminent consultants to some sort of professional congress and excitedly told then, "Look, a tractor!"

Also, I once saw a good friend of mine in town, ran up behind her and kind of jumped and landed with both hands on her shoulders. It was only when she looked round in alarm at my loud 'Oi you twat' that I realised she wasn't my friend at all, but a complete stranger.

At my grandads funeral, after the burial, I went up and hugged the priest- I was horrified afterwards

This is not quite the same but a very stupid thing I once said (& I have certificates to prove I am not completely stupid )

I was about to take the dogs out for a walk but realised we needed bread and milk so shoved debit card in back pocket of jeans - went and got them. After dog walk my jeans were v muddy so I put them in the washing machine with some other stuff. Could not find debit card - knew where it was . DH said - I want to put something through the wash I'll swap them over & me "could you not put my jeans through the tumble dryer because my debit card is in there"

He - Well shall I just take the debit card out of the pocket and then put them through the tumble dryer - haven't lived that one down to this day.

@reiki21

Just today, one of our IT guys opened a teams chat to me with "Hi Bordel, how are you?" I replied with "Hi Bordel, I'm fine, thanks."
The Indian man in the call centre does not have the same name as me so god knows why I said that.

I've also called DD's school and announced, "Hi, this is Mary, Bordel's Mummy...wait...no..."