What the fuck do I do? Life fallen apart overnight

[Darkestdays]

I'm a mum to a 2 year old and I'm pregnant with my second. I work 15 hours per week and don't earn much. DH has been a high earner for past 6 years. We've just taken out a big mortgage 8 months ago.

He's been a grumpy bastard for the past 3 weeks, we've argued loads and tonight I lost it and said I can't deal with how argumentative he's being when I'm exhausted with pregnancy sick with HG, looking after toddler and working PT and wtf is wrong with him. He burst into tears, I've never seen him cry before, and admits he's lost his job.

It was a career in a cut throat industry and they simply decided he wasn't doing well enough and he was gone. He had a formal disciplinary a week ago. I'm furious he didn't tell me so we could of tried to find him a union rep but he's done it all alone for fear of disappointing me.

He's upset that I'm not supporting him since it all came out tonight but I'm just in bits. How are we supposed to cope without his salary? He earns £65k and I earn £7k! I can't afford our council tax bill on top of nursery fees let alone the mortgage. We can't sell within the first year can we, aren't we going to be in negative equity and end up in debt for years? I feel like my life has just fallen apart

as I dont feel being a SAHP benefit their children more significantly than working parents do

Obviously the quality of parenting differs but saying that putting a child in childcare is better than being with their parent, provided the parent is involved with their children, is simply untrue.
There are hundreds of studies. Here's one.....
www.gsb.stanford.edu/insights/eric-bettinger-why-stay-home-parents-are-good-older-children

Also saying that having a weekend job makes somebody financially independent is true if you are a highly paid professional but....most highly paid professionals make a decision not to work weekends unless hospital staff etc. The typical weekend jobs on offer are usually temporary low paid service jobs that can be picked up relatively easily. Few would choose to do them unless financially needed in lieu of family time. Working in retail at the weekends doesn't make someone financially independent.

I'm loathe to get into the advantages and disadvantages of being a SAHP unless the person discussing it has done both for a minimum period of five years or more. Most people discussing it will be either highly paid professionals who enjoy their work and have a level of flexibility, or will be envious and have only maternity leave to make comparisons.

Did you read that study before you linked it. It says that its proven beneficial in the first year and after that you could argue it either way. I could link studies that argue it is and those that argue it isn't. But I wont as this really wasnt why I posted anyway. As I have said to a few posters now let's agree to disagree.

I think people should stop putting 50p in the wind up merchant

@Derbee

I think people should stop putting 50p in the wind up merchant

This!!!!

@Derbee

I think people should stop putting 50p in the wind up merchant

I agree.

Op, I read your update in your second thread. I'm so sorry it's taken the turn that it has done. Hope you are ok and keep string x

@erictries

Op, I read your update in your second thread. I'm so sorry it's taken the turn that it has done. Hope you are ok and keep string x

Could you link to that thread please?

All these people derailing the thread to spout their personal views on what the OP should have done years ago are unhelpful and self absorbed.

@SciFiScream

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4363842-husband-fired-for-sexual-misconduct

Oh my God.

Sexual misconduct?

I’m so sorry, OP.

I’ve just read your second thread and I’m so glad you’ve left him. He is a despicable, horrible man.