Why do you drink? Or why do you not drink?

[Autumnleavesfalling]

Been thinking about this tonight.

I drink too much. The thought of not doing so and letting go of that instant relax worries me.

I don't quite understand why I have chosen this as my coping mechanism. What do other people do at the end of a long day, working, kids all the household stuff etc for that instant 'and breathe ' feeling?

I don’t drink very often.

I don’t like wine, or beer or many spirits. I occasionally have the fancies for half an ice cold shandy at home, but other than that I only drink when I’m out and they’ve got something I like

I can be a terrible binge drinker though. I was out-out at the weekend at a bar with lush cocktails. I just don’t know when to stop. I only do it 3 or 4 times a year but end up feeling shite for days afterwards.

I am, however, a total lightweight so am a cheap date at least

I don't drink since menopause. Not even a glass of wine. I just can't enjoy it.

I try to schedule an early night when stressed out and retire to my bed with the iPad and some Real Housewives rubbish! I used to love a drink - still do - but have come to accept that I just can’t tolerate it any more. It wrecks my sleep and ramps up my anxiety so I ask myself, is it worth it? Plus the empty calories and weight gain usually persuade me not to reach for it - not always, but then I make a conscious choice to have a drink rather than just slipping into it.
It sounds like your sub conscious is getting you to reassess, OP.

I don't drink because I hate the way it makes me feel the next day.

But I do comfort eat, and therefore am fat

A out 17 years ago me and Dh got into the habit of 9 o'clock being our downtime.
Kids on bed, house work done

prep for morning sorted. We felt it was now ' our ' time. We got into habit of putting the TV on at 9, having some chocolate and a wine and lemonade or something.
It soon became expected.

I told Dh that I thought it had to stop. He took me literally- which can be a good or bad thing depending on my mood!!! and the following night there was no chocolate or alcohol. It felt really strange. Something was definitely missing and something didnt seem right. However after a week it became our ' new normal'
I nearly started the process again if having a milky hot choc and bar of Green and blacks but noticed a pattern and stopped it.
These days we only drink at home if we have a party.
I

“I don't quite understand why I have chosen this as my coping mechanism.”

I don’t know if you’ve heard but it can be addictive.

I can't remember the last time I had a drink, my daughter is 7 months and I was pregnant before that

When I was younger even small amounts of alcohol made me really sick, so I could go out and have two drinks and I would be sick all the next day. So I just don't think it's worth it. I love the taste of alcohol, but I get drunk very easily and I don't enjoy the after effects they really are bad.

I think the last time I had more than a couple of drinks was about 2.5 years ago at a works Christmas party, I was really, really ill the next day and I said to myself I'm not doing this again.

Also, I'm on a very restrictive diet so maybe the wine helps to break up my very tedious days of pain, no snacks and limited food.

And it helps me sleep.

I don't drink. (Apart from maybe one or two glasses at Christmas).

I used to drink a lot though, and like you, used to look forward to it and on the nights I didn't drink, used to count down until the nights when I 'allowed' myself.

I now don't even think about it and that is such a good feeling.

My wind down is now bath, then some snacky food and Netflix in bed

Occasionally a run first!

You're doing really well to firstly acknowledge the issue and then do something about it

I don't drink and I feel calmer and happier because of it. 2 years sober today.

Low blood sugar can make you crave alcohol so eat dinner early if you can.

Also I read a good tip which is to brush your teeth and that will stop you wanting it!

This is a really fascinating thread.
I don't have an issue with alcohol, but have noticed that I have consumed more during stressful periods in my life. I do think that it is habit forming, so first and foremost it is a psychological issue. Or perhaps a learned behaviour that is bolstered by cultural identity and programming (social norms).

What I did want to add though - I have recently been rewatching Midsomer Murders from the first season onwards. A proper Prime binge! And I have noticed how much the Barnaby's drink, it is unfathomable, haha! I realise this is fiction, but if you take moment to think about it, this is a massive cultural obsession (dining with a few bottles for the MC, propping up the bar or drinking alone for the WC).

The working class depictions in media and culture are generally looked upon as either deviant or disastrous, whilst the 'gentle unwindings' of the middles and uppers seem much more acceptable! It is interesting how perceptions such as these persist.

Almost everyone Barbnaby interviews in the course of an investigation pours or offers him a Scotch. and the higher up the social 'ladder' you go it's out and out debauchery; a splash of scotch or soothing sound of a good wine pouring into a crystal goblet sets many a scene.

It's amusing and all in good fun for Midsomer, but in reality this is very much an interesting observation on the whole. We associate drinking with relaxation, socialisation, celebration, and just general moment to moment living. And if it is presented in a refined or higher status setting, it is even more insidious. How many of us identify our drinking with Waynetta slob as opposed to Joyce Barnaby? We will of course identify with Joyce, so it's all ok

Socially, we are more at ease discussing what we perceive as 'lower status' drinking habits than higher status drinking habits. It's very hush hush and shoved under the carpet the higher up we go.....

Also interesting to read people's opinions on drink who grew up with an alcoholic in the family. I have a friend who endured this and it has affected her entire life.

Sorry for the tome, I felt a bit inspired!

I don’t drink because as a teenager I had two friends with alcoholic parents. One parent died when we were still at school.
Another friend lost their life to a drunk driver. Again, still at school.

Also, almost everyone I know turns into an absolute bore when they’ve had too much to drink. They don’t think so, they think they’re hilarious. Witty, interesting and soooo deep.
Believe me, they’re not.

I don’t drink more because I can’t drink. Even a teaspoon of alcohol makes the room spin.
A single liqueur chocolate I think has the same effect as probably a bottle of red.

Not too sure why it affects me like it does.

I don’t very often for two reasons.

Firstly, my Dad was an alcoholic and it killed him.

Secondly, I have an autoimmune condition and sometimes but not always I get a near-instant reaction to alcohol. My face flushed, I sneeze and my nose gets blocked, my ears get blocked. Not worth it.

I do sometimes think the autoimmune thing is a psychosomatic reaction to my Dad.

Oh, I also get a weird reaction to alcohol, I do have IBS though, however it does not seem to only affect my gut.

The day after drinking almost every soft tissue in my body rings with pain, as if I have been kicked by a carthorse. It hurts to touch my arm, my side, anything. I have no idea but presume it is some sort of inflammatory response. I also suffer constipation and a lot of IBS related bloat and pain. For these reasons alone i can't imagine doing it too regularly - and whiskey makes it worse, which sadly is my favourite tipple!

My arms and legs get very achy after a drink ..it's really odd. Only happens occasionally and it doesn't have to be a lot of alcohol.. sometimes just one drink is enough and my legs feel heavy and sore. I just avoid it altogether now.

Oh and yes, also alcoholic parents (one who has subsequently died from vascular dementia) has also meant that in no circumstances do I want to be like them or put the DC through what I went through.

@Rainbows89

I don’t drink. I used to drink a lot.

I eat junk food now though to get that switch off feeling … don’t think that’s any better …!!!

Ha ha.. Could have written this word for word.

My 'vice' in between alcohol and junk food was running.. It was still an addiction and in that respect still not great as it used to really affect my mood if I couldn't run.. But definitely healthier! 😆

I dont drink as I dont like feeling tipsy, immediately after I feel dehydrated and like I want to cleanse it out of my system. I like a hot epsom bath too and I use essential oils at night with a cup of tea. Prefer to feel fresh and alcohol makes me feel crap. I take a couple of drops of cbd if I feel stressed

I don't drink much. I sometimes get into bed for an hour or so after work, have a lie down or read. It helps me relax.

I don’t drink because I know once I start, it will be a slippery slope. For the same reason I don’t smoke. Used to do both. Haven’t for 6 years. I can’t justify the expense as I have 3 small kids who can do with the money spent on them.
I read, watch tv, sleep, eat.

I don't drink. Since being pregnant with my youngest I really can't stand the taste. I never did the drink to unwind thing. When I was 16/17/18/19 I drank because I thought it was grown up/cool. In my twenties it was something I occasionally had at weddings. These days I don't even do that. I read a book to unwind.