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Original poster

Why do you drink? Or why do you not drink?

198 replies

Autumnleavesfalling · 15/09/2021 22:30

Been thinking about this tonight.

I drink too much. The thought of not doing so and letting go of that instant relax worries me.

I don't quite understand why I have chosen this as my coping mechanism. What do other people do at the end of a long day, working, kids all the household stuff etc for that instant 'and breathe ' feeling?

OP posts:
Nat6999 · 15/09/2021 23:23

I don't drink, my late dp died age 34 from alcoholism & I was heading the same way, I haven't had a drink for over 4 years now.

ShinyThingsDistractMe · 15/09/2021 23:26

I don't drink except socially where childcare is arranged.

Because I'm a solely responsible for the welfare of a minor every day and night of the week.

I'd be absolutely shamed if I had to get him to a and e or something but had to call a taxi or something because I was "over the limit". And I sent phone family to say I've had wine on my own in the house and can't get my child medical care. I wouldn't blame them for judging me.

Scarby9 · 15/09/2021 23:32

I didn't drink as a teenager because a) I didn't really like the taste, b) I liked to be in control of myself and c) I quite liked being different.
At uni, everyone just accepted I didn't drink so there was no reason to start. I also saw the result of too much drink and really didn't like it.
After uni I was always the designated driver, so drinking was never an option.
It has now just became part of who I am. I don't drink. Never have. Don't miss it. No-one is bothered.

BlueberrySugar · 15/09/2021 23:41

I drink maybe 1-2 times a year.

I used to get very drunk in the first year of uni like many others.

I didn't really in the 2nd & 3rd years.

I'm 29 now and didn't really drink before DS. My DP doesn't drink either. There isn't really a reason for it that I can think of. Just that we aren't big drinkers. I do enjoy a nice cup of tea or a nice latte though!

InnPain · 16/09/2021 00:35

I don’t drink for religious reasons, a cuppa usually does it for me.

Mummasdiary2021 · 16/09/2021 00:42

@mumof2oneofeach

Coffee or a freezing cold non alcoholic drink 👍
This.

I just t don't enjoy drinking, making a twat of myself and waking up hungover lol

DustyMaiden · 16/09/2021 00:45

I don’t drink, it feels like poison to me. Makes me anxious, sick and depressed.

MouseholeCat · 16/09/2021 00:51

I don't drink, I stopped about 5 years ago and haven't looked back. I used to drink because I liked the taste, but mainly because I liked the switching off feeling you mentioned.

I realised that I was using it as a crutch. If I had a stressful day, I'd buy some wine to treat myself or switch off in the evening. My anxiety was also spiralling at the time, I wasn't coping well with stress and I was having frequent insomonia. Sunday evenings were horrible- they always felt like I was crashing back down to reality.

When I stopped I couldn't believe how good I felt. I found that meditation, exercise and other healthy coping mechanisms were much better for my anxiety. I was energetic, I woke up early every day, my emotions hugely evened out and I was sleeping well. I also found that I was a lot more resiliant than I ever thought I was.

My drinking was never daily or excessive- more like a couple of glasses of wine maybe 3 nights a week. I look at it as being disordered though, because I was using it to handle anxiety and stress. Personally, I think anyone seeking alcohol to switch off should evaluate their drinking... although that's not a popular view on Mumsnet!

MouseholeCat · 16/09/2021 00:53

Re: the 'and breathe' feeling- I go sit in the garden with a cup of herbal tea, or I take a bath, read a book, meditate, do some yoga etc. When you wean yourself off the impact alcohol has I think your brain rewires and those activities feel much more relaxing.

Unfashionable · 16/09/2021 00:55

I never drink to get drunk, but I do consume alcoholic drinks because I love the stuff. A Czech pilsner on a hot summer’s afternoon. A pint of cask ale at the pub after an autumn walk. Rioja with roast lamb, Chablis with seafood, Bavarian weissbier with spicy curry. A glass of peaty Islay malt before bed. I love them all. You can keep the sweet, sickly alcopops & Baileys, though.

Munknown90 · 16/09/2021 00:57

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Munknown90 · 16/09/2021 00:58

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Kanaloa · 16/09/2021 01:06

I don’t drink. I think it’s because I never got ‘started’ as a teen so I don’t have any associations with it and then just never started. I don’t like the way people act when they drink most of the time either.

I am pretty anxious but honestly I don’t think drinking would relax me anyway!

Hen2018 · 16/09/2021 01:16

I don’t drink. I stopped at 23 (half my lifetime ago) as I was becoming dependent on it.

When you haven’t drunk for a long time, you can marvel how ingrained it is in British society/culture.

And how intensely boring drunk people are.

QOD · 16/09/2021 01:26

I think I drank every day for about 8 yrs
Well every evening and only one at lunch if a pub lunch
Drank myself stupid during lockdown and woke up one morning on the lounge floor. Scared me
Tried to cut down, couldn’t really do it. Then I don’t know, I just stopped in March 21
I have drunk when at a gathering or party and got drunk but just can’t bring myself to drink at home anymore
Soooo weird.
6 mths and I’ve probably drunk socially 5 times

powershowerforanhour · 16/09/2021 01:29

I do drink, but don't "use" it as a winding down tool very often at all. I suppose I never got in the habit and it doesn't come to mind in times of stress.
I stress-eat crap a lot and dick about on mumsnet pondering other people's problems to keep my mind off it. Sometimes I wallow silently in righteous self pitying anger which is probably a bit toxic but at least I always agree with myself when I'm having a good silent rant to myself and don't coolly and annoyingly point out the opposite view.
If I'm stressed and can't sleep, I pick an internet rabbit hole to fall down. If durung the day I do the ironing...superb displacement activity to avoid doing anything more constructive and you xan listen to a podcast while doing it.

Nancydrawn · 16/09/2021 01:35

Sometimes I drink, sometimes I don't. But it's not part of my routine.

Any routine will take a couple weeks to establish. It'll start to feel really, really good.

So, for instance, I started a new bedtime routine recently. At a set hour of the night, I light a nice candle, take a long bath with a good book while listening to a particular jazz playlist, then go through a very delightful skincare routine, put on a nighttime perfume, then crawl into bed without checking my email.

In terms of throwing that switch, I'd try engaging other senses. Buy a very expensive scented candle and light it. Turn on a winding-down music playlist. Make a cup of tea if you need to drink something. Or a great nonalcoholic drink, like a chinotto or a san bitter. Have some really delightful at-home clothes that you change into and make you feel comfortable but elegant. There are lots of ways to engage the senses.

SMBH · 16/09/2021 01:36

I don’t drink in the evening because I cosleep most nights. I sew to wind down, I can listen to audiobooks at the same time.

I agree you have to change what you are doing (at least temporarily) to remove the association with having a drink, there are some good suggestions on this thread

NotMyCat · 16/09/2021 01:42

It just doesn't occur to me to drink at home which probably sounds weird! I drink if I go out and maybe once a year have a cider in the summer at home
Mostly I drink squash or tea

Hawkins001 · 16/09/2021 01:47

Usually have a cuppa tea, I prefer non alcoholic drinks as I prefer to keep my senses operational rather than sozzled.

Munknown90 · 16/09/2021 01:48

Is it a sleep thing? Or just to help you feel relaxed

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 16/09/2021 04:29

I drink to excess about once or twice a year. The rest of the time, not at all. My daily "reward" of a glass at the end of the day wrecked my sleep, digestion and mood. I like the taste, but not the fuzzy depression. Also, as an HGV driver, during most of the week it's not possible.

Hoolihan · 16/09/2021 04:48

Instead of drinking in the evening I now spend an hour or so alone in my room with the door closed! I generally do some yoga/stretches, a short meditation from Buddhify, read, listen to music or just lie down and think! It has become a ritual that has replaced the need for booze. Drinking was becoming really damaging for me in lots of ways so I took 100 days off earlier this year and read the Annie Grace book which has really changed my mindset.

garlictwist · 16/09/2021 04:49

I don't drink as I don't like the taste and it also makes me fall asleep rather than be happy and sociable so I don't bother.

Pikamoo · 16/09/2021 05:33

I'll have a drink if we're out somewhere but I never drink at home unless we've got guests round. Even then I wouldn't always.

I don't know why I don't. DH is allergic so it's not something we can do together which is probably a factor. My dad always drunk a bottle of wine with dinner and he was such a bore when tipsy so that's another reason. I don't know - having a glass of wine with dinner isn't something that any young people I know do. I prefer to have a bar of chocolate and watch some TV.