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Original poster

Why do you drink? Or why do you not drink?

198 replies

Autumnleavesfalling · 15/09/2021 22:30

Been thinking about this tonight.

I drink too much. The thought of not doing so and letting go of that instant relax worries me.

I don't quite understand why I have chosen this as my coping mechanism. What do other people do at the end of a long day, working, kids all the household stuff etc for that instant 'and breathe ' feeling?

OP posts:
SirenSays · 16/09/2021 14:09

I drink but very rarely, maybe a few times a year. I think the whole "wine mum" persona is completely overrated. Wine, to me, tastes like dirt no matter how much is spent on it and I certainly don't find it relaxing. Drinking alone is so sad, I suppose the social aspect is important to me.
Being completely honest, I'd rather get drunk on sweet cocktails but that's only really appropriate at clubs, parties and the odd festival and then the next day my wallet and head hurt.

Original poster
Autumnleavesfalling · 20/09/2021 21:20

Thank you everyone who posted, I have read through it all. I decided to try tonight to relax without the obligatory wine... I was a bit worried stupidly that I wouldn't be able to do it.
It was fine! And I feel great now that I didn't have any... had a different cold drink while cooking, nice soak in the bath and chilled with my book.
I am going to try not to drink in the week... a bit of a wake up call that it's been worrying me

OP posts:
OriginalLilibet · 20/09/2021 21:47

I don’t drink because I am an alcoholic. I now use prescription drugs to cope and wind down. My doctor is blissfully unaware that he has facilitated me swapping one addiction for another.

AnnieSnap · 20/09/2021 22:08

@OriginalLilibet

I don’t drink because I am an alcoholic. I now use prescription drugs to cope and wind down. My doctor is blissfully unaware that he has facilitated me swapping one addiction for another.
If you mean benzoes or pain killers, I’m guessing you know that, as you become physically addicted, you will need increasingly large amounts to achieve the same effect and as it progresses, your doctor will realise what you are doing and the prescriptions will dry-up. Unless of course you are in the US where you can obtain prescriptions from multiple doctors. I hope you are okay.
QOD · 21/09/2021 04:13

@OriginalLilibet 👋🏼 I hear you and raise you 30/500 co codamol
I’m cutting that down too. I used to get a box every time my prescription app said it was due and would run out before the new box arrived
I now have 3 full unopened boxes so can see the reduction
I do suffer with chronic pain - arthritis and sciatica but I know they’re a mental crutch

PopsicleHustler · 21/09/2021 05:01

I dont drink because I am muslim and even if I wasnt a muslim I just wouldn't want to as I was a non muslim before and grew up in an alcoholic abusive home. I think both cigarettes, alcohol and drugs are all the biggest wastes of money and could be spent on helping the poor etc.

I relax with a big bar of dairy milk and apple juice/coca cola zero. Not every night though. Mostly on weekends is when I treat myself to chocolate....

RBKB · 21/09/2021 06:10

I drank just like you OP...I knew I was hooked even though quantity was 'only' two large glasses a night. Then my dad died of alcoholism.

You CAN give it up...just see it as going into battle...replacing with nice alternative drinks (I love zero alcohol lager) but your body will tell you to drink alcohol again. Because it is very physically addictive for some (and we are in that camp!)
I found the idea of making it through to 66 days (probably bullshit amount of time to kick the initial cravings of any physical habit). I doggedly ticked off a day at a time.
My advice would be to go teetotal.
I am fine and happy without it now, and relieved I won't suffer later as my poor lovely dad did. Xx

Spiindoctor · 21/09/2021 06:25

Why do you drink? Think it through - why?
It makes you feel good briefly but then it wears off. So why.

I feel that I had a lot of repressed grudges/ anger, felt I deserved the treat. But it is addictive - no two ways. If you can take it or leave it fine, but ime no one can because no intelligent person would drink if they didn't have the addictive need.

1 in 8 women get breast cancer. The risks are increased if you have
genetic risk,.......or are obese, don't take exercise or drink alcohol.
I've just given up alcohol , funny how easy it is if you have a good reason!. Shame I didn't give up earlier.

MrsDThomas · 21/09/2021 07:16

I like the taste. I sill have a drink 3-5 nights a week.

One glass of wine or a beer with a programme at 9pm. A bottle of wine will last 4 nights.

Im not overweight, not puffy, great skin, i run about 20 miles a week.

And the last time i was drunk was September 2000 at my friend’s hen do. 21 years ago.

So its absolutely no problem.

FindingMeno · 21/09/2021 07:34

I don't drink because it makes me feel like shit.

OriginalLilibet · 21/09/2021 08:52

@AnnieSnap never underestimate the ingenuity and deceptiveness of a functional addict. Every challenge that you can imagine can be managed... I am OK but am all to aware that I am ruining my organs.

@QOD it's all too easy to play the system and even if the system catches up with you, there are other methods. Well done with your restraint.

AnnieSnap · 21/09/2021 13:09

[quote OriginalLilibet]@AnnieSnap never underestimate the ingenuity and deceptiveness of a functional addict. Every challenge that you can imagine can be managed... I am OK but am all to aware that I am ruining my organs.

@QOD it's all too easy to play the system and even if the system catches up with you, there are other methods. Well done with your restraint.[/quote]
I hope you get to a better place with it. My husband is a sober alcoholic. He hasn’t had a drink for over 2 years and we are both grateful every day.

yoshiblue · 21/09/2021 14:02

I discovered the hard way that alcohol was causing me terrible anxiety which I just swept under the carpet for years. Although alcohol is a sedative, it does cause depression/anxiety and is not good for you at all. Fine for some if you can have the occasional drink, but its addictive and I developed a regular drinking habit that made me feel rubbish.

I've just completed 6 months without booze and am carrying on. I feel so much better mentally and physically. More energy and little to no anxiety overall. I'm also eating better and now exercising 3-4 times per week, so making me feel healthier and fitter.

To wind down on a night, a soft drink (often even only a sparkling water) with a book, tv, crochet is perfect for me.

emuloc · 21/09/2021 14:12

I would not say I was teetotal, but I have not had any alcoholic drink for about 2 years. I am just not really bothered with it all. I do not like wine, so that helps, I suppose. I do not need a drink to relax.

RedGateWoman · 21/09/2021 14:22

@OriginalLilibet

I don’t drink because I am an alcoholic. I now use prescription drugs to cope and wind down. My doctor is blissfully unaware that he has facilitated me swapping one addiction for another.
I drink alcohol for pain relief so that I don't become addicted to codeine and amitriptyline and strong NSAIDs, that my GP and consultants will give me by the boxload. Literally hundreds of codeine tablets every month.

But mention a daily dose of Chardonnay, and it's a fit of the vapours ... yet my liver function is tested annually, and has recently been US scanned and CT scanned and is fine.

DogPeeHelp · 21/09/2021 14:37

I don't really drink. I might have a glass of champagne at a wedding or Christmas or a cocktail on holiday but that's it.

For me, it's not worth the hangover. I hate that feeling of being tired and lazy the next day or having to force myself to do things. I also get quite bad anxiety after, worry I've said or done the wrong thing to someone or embarrassed myself in some way, I hate it

Taytocrisps · 21/09/2021 14:46

I don't view alcohol as a relaxant. I view it as an occasional treat. I enjoy a few drinks while out with friends. Or I might indulge in a glass or two of wine on a Saturday night while I'm watching a movie on TV. I don't go overboard because I've learnt that it doesn't really agree with me - causes my IBS to flare up. Also, I really dislike hangovers.

My way of relaxing at the end of a working day is kicking off my shoes and (in winter) snuggling under a blanket with a mug of coffee and some chocolate, while watching a good programme on Netflix. At the weekends I might light a scented candle. In summer I'm usually busy tending to the garden and watering all my planters. It's a bit of a chore but I love the flowers and watching different plants emerge as the seasons pass. And the hum of bees as I'm watering in summer is quite therapeutic. When I'm finished, I treat myself to a coffee and some chocolate.

Basically, I seem to prefer caffeine to alcohol.

Oh and in case anyone's wondering, I don't eat chocolate every night - about every third night or so.

LostpencilSOS · 21/09/2021 14:47

I don't drink and never had done because I'm a Muslim.

I look a lot younger than I am and am told so on a regular basis. I put it down to no alcohol and no sunbathing.

LostpencilSOS · 21/09/2021 14:56

Ways to unwind:

Put kids to bed first (very important part of relaxing Grin)
Pjs on
Candles on
Everything clean and put away
Netflix/good tv
Cup of tea

I try not to snack on crap every single day but if I am snacking this is the time to grab a snack. Either watch tv on the sofa or lay in bed and watch YouTube in bed/read my book. (I live close by to a library and have been making more of an effort to read again).

Laying in bed with a book, candles on, kids asleep and the house sparkling clean must be THE BEST feeling ever.

Original poster
Autumnleavesfalling · 21/09/2021 15:29

I had a little wobble before where I thought oh I can get a bottle of wine I have proved I can have a night off. Hmm.

I am loving reading everyone's reasons and relaxing ideas... sorry to those who are struggling with alcohol/drug addiction.

@LostpencilSOS like that list you just posted. I am going to deal with some paperwork tonight then bath and candle I think. Might read or start a new Netflix show.

I think I was/am definitely on the road to it becoming a problem more than a habit so needs stopping

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 21/09/2021 16:20

I get that feeling automatically when the last child is in bed :o

I don't drink often, currently because I'm cosleeping with a newborn, but in general I am such a lightweight from not drinking for years that actually it gives me a headache more than I enjoy the sensation.

Cuddlemuffin · 21/09/2021 16:28

I do t drink and haven't for 3 or so years. I stopped because I just cannot handle hangovers. I get really down for about 3 days and as I don't drink much my tolerance is low so I'm easily affected. I used to drink a lot in my late teens and early twenties. I also stopped smoking 6 years ago, I miss smoking far more as I really got that 'and relax' feeling from it. Now I just have a long hot shower or a hot drink (decaffeinated) and a chat with my husband after the kids have gone to bed. I also like to watch trash like MAFS to switch off...stuff that either doesn't require my brain to work or makes me laugh! X

Abouttimemum · 21/09/2021 16:35

I don’t drink, I will have a couple socially if I go out but I never drink at home. I just don’t like it and it doesn’t do anything for me. Sitting down at the end of the day is enough for me and I get more out of a cup of tea and slice of cake ha. I also exercise which gets rid of excess stress.

DH drinks though, he used to drink a lot but he has a bottle of wine a week now when he has a particularly bad day. He has a very tiring job and he finds is hard to unwind. He’s tried giving it up altogether as he doesn’t like that it’s a coping mechanism rather than enjoyment but it hasn’t worked. I’ve tried to help him see that it’s just habit but we’re not there yet.

DillonPanthersTexas · 21/09/2021 16:38

I like drinking. I don't drink loads, certainly less the what I used to but I do enjoy a few beers or sharing a bottle of wine. I don't drink midweek and given that I am up early doors on weekends to row with my club I can't afford hangovers. But a really nice glass of wine with a good meal is bliss.

doadeer · 21/09/2021 16:40

Used to drink a lot in my 20s. Far too much. I've had a baby, spent a lot of time on medication and now anything more than half a glass of wine makes me feel rough. It's been a huge shock and I do miss it a lot. But I would say it took me a good few weeks to stop ending each day wishing for a glass of wine. It is just habit. I'm also quite vain I guess as if something was affecting my looks that would be a strong motivation for me.

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