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Original poster

What to write on card for colleague's new baby following a stillbirth?

153 replies

YogaRetreatsWithBacon · 12/09/2021 15:27

Very grateful for advice, I don't want to be pushy or intrusive but also feel that her first baby is so very important still.

OP posts:
WhenZoomWasJustAnIceLolly · 12/09/2021 15:28

That is lovely. I would just write thinking of you and remembering x (use baby’s name if you know it).

PaddleBlue · 12/09/2021 15:28

Are you thinking that you would want to reference her first child in some way in the card? How close are you?

pinkyredrose · 12/09/2021 15:29

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Original poster
YogaRetreatsWithBacon · 12/09/2021 15:30

Not very close, which is why I'm worried about being pushy, but she was very kind to me when we worked in an actual office in person.

OP posts:
illuyankas · 12/09/2021 15:30

I don't know, I wouldn't mention about still birth baby on the card for a new born baby.

JMAngel1 · 12/09/2021 15:31

Oh my goodness, do not send a card!!

FazedNotPhased · 12/09/2021 15:31

Sorry, do you mean this is her second child, following the stillbirth of her first?

If that's the case I think I would just say congratulations...

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 12/09/2021 15:31

Just say congratulations, I'd bring it up for a close pal, but not a work colleague

LouNatics · 12/09/2021 15:32

Delighted to hear your good news! Thinking of you all as you welcome baby (new baby name)

It’s subtle but she’ll get it.

EmbarrassingMama · 12/09/2021 15:32

Very unclear post. Has she just had her second baby, and her first was stillborn?

NuffSaidSam · 12/09/2021 15:32

I don't think you should mention the still birth in the card for the new baby.

Original poster
YogaRetreatsWithBacon · 12/09/2021 15:32

Sorry, do you mean this is her second child, following the stillbirth of her first?

Yes, exactly.

OP posts:
Original poster
YogaRetreatsWithBacon · 12/09/2021 15:33

Delighted to hear your good news! Thinking of you all as you welcome baby (new baby name)

Oh this sounds perfect. Thank you.

OP posts:
Thirtyrock39 · 12/09/2021 15:33

I would just keep it to being about the new baby. You wouldn't mention other siblings usually in a new baby card . It's not like you're saying ' congratulations on your first baby'

Original poster
YogaRetreatsWithBacon · 12/09/2021 15:34

You wouldn't mention other siblings usually in a new baby card

I normally would, which was why I was unsure.

OP posts:
simitra · 12/09/2021 15:37

I would just send a card for the new baby and not reference the still birth in case it awakes fears and sad memories.

TheLovelinessOfDemons · 12/09/2021 15:39

The people who say the OP is unclear, no it isn't.

What to write on card for colleague's new baby following a stillbirth?

Seems perfectly clear to me.

MrsSkylerWhite · 12/09/2021 15:40

A happy card welcoming “name” to the world is all that’s needed. As simply a colleague, anything else may be overstepping.

DeadButDelicious · 12/09/2021 15:42

Hello, I lost a baby very late into pregnancy and the cards that meant the most to me were the ones that included my deceased daughter. She is still very much a part of our family even if she isn't here and it means the absolute world to me when people include her, rather than ignore her existence because it makes them uncomfortable. You won't be 'reminding' them, they haven't forgotten, I should imagine that their first baby is very much on their minds right now.

I would write something along the lines of 'So pleased to hear of the safe arrival of (baby name), remembering (1st baby) at this special time'.

entrytohr · 12/09/2021 15:43

I got a new baby and a big brother for a friend, gave at the same time. She appreciated her first being included still as he's just as much part of her family as #2 is x

MattyGroves · 12/09/2021 15:44

I had a baby after a stillbirth and no one mentioned it. We did get tons and tons of cards and gifts including from people who we don't know that we'll (e.g. my parents' neighbours) which I took to be people feeling extra pleased for us

entrytohr · 12/09/2021 15:45

Also included first's name in the new baby card (as I would with loving children). To Fred, Wilma and bam bam. Congratulations..." sort of thing. But it was done in the knowledge that she'd appreciate it. I'd have left that out and stuck to big brother if I wasn't sure on reception as a separate card can be gotten rid of more easily if wanted x

Onaloop · 12/09/2021 15:47

@DeadButDelicious I lost a baby too, at 19 weeks, I'm pregnant again now. I would also feel touched if someone remembered my first son in a card, we remember him every day and its nice when other people do too. I agree with what you wrote.

YukoandHiro · 12/09/2021 15:49

"You wouldn't mention other siblings usually in a new baby card"

Of course you would! What a weird thing to say

DeadButDelicious · 12/09/2021 15:50

[quote Onaloop]@DeadButDelicious I lost a baby too, at 19 weeks, I'm pregnant again now. I would also feel touched if someone remembered my first son in a card, we remember him every day and its nice when other people do too. I agree with what you wrote.[/quote]
I'm so very sorry for your loss @Onaloop and congratulations on your pregnancy. It's a very unique journey isn't it? Lots of love to you. Thanks

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